Academic Journey 1: IELTS is no joke!

 Bismillah....

Alhamdulillah, at this point of time we are no longer in MCO and I have been fully vaccinated. However, I still can't get my family to come to Sabah because interstate crossing is only allowed for urgent matters and in the case of emergency. I haven't written much on this blog since August, partly because of me being all preoccupied with my university and scholarship applications. I anticipated the challenges but still I admit that this whole process is very very tiring.

I am currently in the tawakal phase, waiting for the result for Graduate Excellence Programme (GREP) offered by MARA. Although my departure to UK has yet to be confirmed, I'm very compelled to share this whole journey because I think one of the thing that have kept me going besides the support I received from family and close friends are the blog entries where bloggers shared the reality of their academic journey. 

When I was applying for Chevening, I looked through the previous scholars' blogs and YouTube channel to look for tips. They were all successful applicants thus their writings were very positive. The narratives, I feel, were meant to inspire others and in some, they even make you feel to be selected as an awardee is easy. Having failed twice, I really haven't figured out what is it that the selection committee is looking for. I guess you must really have an exceptional writing skills to be able to sell yourself with just 500 words hahaha

Anyway, in this first entry I'm going to talk about the International English Language Test (IELTS). Yes, the one that I registered the day after I found out I didn't advance to the interview stage for Chevening. For my case, I needed the IELTS result to apply for MARA scholarship which requires a minimum score of 6.5 and also to convert my University College London's (UCL) conditional offer to unconditional offer where I have to score a band 7. Yes, I manage to get an offer from a top university, Alhamdulillah. InshaAllah, I'll share about university applications in another post.

The first thing to do is to make sure you register for the correct paper. There are 2 types of papers; Academic and General Training. And be sure to check whether the university you're applying to is a Tier 4 sponsor or not because if it is not, then you have to register for the UKVI which is slightly more pricey than the normal Academic paper. I think the British council website is very helpful with the whole process as long as you take your time to read all the information that they've provided. I registered for the UKVI Academic paper since at that time I have not decide which offer to accept. 

The next question will be how much preparation should you make?

I had about 28 days to prepare. Knowing that some people had taken the test several times before getting the band that they needed and considering that my last English test was MUET back in 2004, I decided to take this test seriously. After the registration, I received a confirmation email on my test booking and this was followed by several emails on how to prepare for the test and links to useful resources. 

One that I found useful is this free live webinar on Thursdays. So, for several weeks I would rush home sharp at 5.00 pm to make sure I arrive at home just in time for the webinar. I highly recommend these webinars but do not solely rely on them because these webinars will only assist you to familiarize with the formats and the marking schemes but it is not a practice platform. I enjoyed all the sessions and they were surprisingly interactive and engaging. You'll receive the recording a few days later even if you can't attend to the one that you've signed up for.

Oh! I also downloaded the free study guide and adjusted the study plan into my 'busy' schedule. Yes, I was that serious! My money was at stake if I were to retake the exam. And the intermittent surge of Covid 19 cases caused irregular test schedules so I didn't want to risk it. 

This is where you'll find the information on the format 

For listening and reading, I did some practice at this British Council Learn English website. To be honest, in reality the listening test is much harder. Firstly, you'll be listening to native speakers of various accents. Secondly, the monologues/dialogues are lengthy so you have to maintain your attention. There was this part in which two architecture students were discussing about house designs from different era. They were talking without any pause at a considerably fast speed. I was sitting next to the radio, so it was loud and clear but still I have to quickly jot down the important points. The task was to match the characteristics with the correct houses and there were seven different types! Mind you, the conversations will not be straightforward and will only be played once. I scored a 7.5 for listening.

As for reading, although I scored 8.5 which means I only got 2 to 3 wrong answers, I wouldn't say it was easy. The articles given were long and the questions, from my opinion, are sometimes obscure. My advantage was I can speed read and process the information as I go hence I didn't need to reread the whole article to find the answers. However, I do think this is the section where you can score the highest.

The writing test is where many people had a hard time scoring thus affecting their overall marks. Two-third of the marks will come from task 2 thus more time should be spent on this one. I was lucky to get an easy topic for task 2. The question asked for my opinion on sharing personal details online.  If you look through the past questions, many of them were on first world issues that we're most likely not familiar with. Like what's your take on space exploration? Which is better, punishment or rehabilitation? Eating meat vs eating plants? I did prepare for these kind of topics by reading articles in BBC, The Guardian, The Economist and Reader's Digest. I spent 1 to 2 hours per day reading articles on science and technology, economics, arts and even law. Well, I found it enjoyable to discover all these things that I never knew about like feeding cows with seaweed to reduce the amount of methane when they burp hahaha So I could keep up with the habit and I still read these websites everyday until today hahaha

For task 1, the question that I got was a bar chart. My advise for this section is to study the format, read as many samples as you could and do practice writing with different kind of diagrams. If you could get someone to check for you will be the best but for me, I practiced by writing within the actual time frame and then improvised how I organized my points and my language. The sites that I frequented for this exercise were IELTS preparation with Liz and IELTS buddy. I stick to just these two because I found the techniques that they shared were easy to follow and they have hundreds of sample questions. I think they will also respond to enquiries. How much did I practice my writing? I took a 3 days leave before my exam and I actually manage to use up almost one whole exercise book to practice writing essays.

And finally, the speaking test which consists of 3 parts. The 1st part is said meant to make us relax where the examiner will ask questions about yourself. I was asked about my work, why I chose my career and what I don't like about it. In the 2nd part, you'll be given a card asking about a particular topic and the points that should be covered as you elaborate the subject. Mine was on telling the truth to a friend and how it affected our friendship. I think the biggest challenge for this task is you must continue talking for the entire two minutes. And in the final part, the examiner will ask more questions related to the question on the card and an additional issue. I was asked on my opinion on cheating in sports and the importance of farming in your country.

There was a moment when I can't recall this farming method and paused for a while. Then I just admit that I can't remember the name and went on to describe it instead. For speaking, to improve my pronunciation, sometimes I read aloud articles. For the second part, since I have no partner to practice with, I record myself speaking on sample topics. I actually planned my answers ahead. For instance if I were to be asked about an object like my favourite book, I already have which book to talk about in mind. If I were to talk about someone I idolize or a family member or a friend, I already have in mind the people that I should talk about so this save me a lot of time during the 1 minute preparation period.

Alhamdulillah, I manage to score a band 8 which was my actual target although I only needed a band 7. I purposely targeted a higher score so that I can push myself like the above. Honestly, I think IELTS should not be taken lightly. Take a class if you must. And even if you're confident enough with your current proficiency, do adequately prepare. I was mentally exhausted when it finished and IELTS was the most difficult English test that I've ever sat.

I hope this post will be useful for future test takers (^^)/ Yes we can! 

Read More

The taste of failure...

Bismillah... 

This is the view as I was having these thoughts...

When someone said about wishing to achieve a smooth sailing life, I was confused of how can that even be possible. How can life be smooth sailing? Human will always be tested...

But to think of it... Perhaps what I have is a 'smooth sailing' life afterall....

I started to gradually realize this when my response to failure was NO RESPONSE . I was not in the verge of giving up nor all fired up for the next move. Then I recalled, when did I ever fail...? Fine.. I failed my N4 JLPT and that was my first ever failure in an exam at 32 years old. There were areas in life when I really had to put a fight but eventually I always won the battle after going through the blood, sweat and tears.

I failed to advance to the next stage of my scholarship application, and yes I was not disheartened at all!

I was startled by how I reacted. After that, I lied down with my eyes closed. Started to ask myself how badly do I want this? I recalled all the challenges and dismay that my friends faced as they went through the process. They eventually got what they want most and all the difficulties felt worth it at the end.

I then rose from bed, switched on my laptop and booked for an IELTS exam. I needed another thing to look forward to so I could keep going. And it was during my mindlesss browsing after that that I came across my 'ideal' institute of learning, a place I wanted to be most, in a field I'm most passionate about but I've set aside the idea because the course that I wanted was not listed in the scholarship.

Could this failure be a blessing in disguised?

Is Allah trying to lead me to my passion rather than let me settle into something that I don't wholeheartedly wanted?

Haih.. Seriously I can't believe I'm literally struggling to be preserver because I always had it 'easy' (in academic) 

\\(",) Ya Allah, give me steadfastness in my journey to gain knowledge and success. Ameen....

"You're meant for bigger things, Haziah"

Said one of the first person to know about the unpleasant news. Haha I remember he made a face expression when I told him what course I was applying for the scholarship so I kind of get the message from the encouragement.....

Read More

Sulawesi 2020: Tanah Toraja Part 1

Bismillah...

There is currently a staggering increase of Covid 19 cases in west Malaysia and here we go again with another nationwide MCO. My goal for this MCO is not to get fat and stay productive! Lol I haven't been posting much about my travels for the past few years so tonight I think I will start with our one and only trip in 2020 to Makassar. This 1st February marks its one year anniversary! Which essentially means it's been a year since I've been abroad....

I thought of going there out of a whim one evening. I studied the route first before suggesting it to my travel buddies and Alhamdulillah MR said yes to it despite knowing the date that I've chosen is less than two weeks away after her trip to Kyushu. We spent 8 days in Makassar and our route goes like this

KL - Makassar - Rantepao -Ramang-ramang - Makassar

We arrived in Makassar at noon and had plenty of time to go around the capital city before our night bus to Rentapao. We had lunch in a food court that faces the marina and went to the Fort Rotterdam which was just across the food court. There was a family selling snacks and drinks in front of the fort. The husband offered to drive us around town before sending us to the bus stop with a cheaper fare compare to Grab. To our surprise, he sent us not to the bus stop that we intended to go but to a nearby bus stop in which the departure is much earlier. He gave me his number so he could fetch us from the bus stop when we're back in Makassar. But since he was not so trustworthy after all, I decided to ghost him although he did text me many times after that. We end up arriving in Rentapao at 4 am. And the most horrific thing was, Rentapao has many stray dogs that like to bark ferociously at you!

We were afraid to wake the host up so we waited until the sun was about to rise to ring the bell. She felt guilty that we have waited in front of her porch for hours but we were okay. We were extremely happy to find our comfortable beds after the long journey and after facing the fierce intimidating barks. That afternoon Sarah, our host arranged for us a meeting with a senior local guide, Pak Saleh, who is an expert in Torajan history and culture. The best! Hahaha

I think our itinerary was brilliantly arranged and to me it was the way how Pak Saleh explained about the history and culture that have kept us constantly curious and intrigued for what was next. On our first day in Rentapao we went to visit Kete Kesu Village to have a look at one of the oldest traditional houses in Tana Toraja known as Tongkonan. According to our guide, a Tongkonan symbolizes a strong family bond because building Tongkonan requires labourious efforts from all family members. It is also a symbol of family status. The Tongkonan outer walls are adorned with delicate carvings and buffalo horns. The more horns you see outside, that means the higher the homeowner's social status. 

We then went on to visit nearby burial sites. Most of the sites are set on the walls of limestone cliffs. The coffins were either hanging from the side of the cliff or placed inside caves that were carved by highly skilled craftsmen. How high the coffins are positioned is the symbol of the deceased social status. The noble family members are placed in higher places while commoners will rest at the foot of the cliff.  

The picture above is a burial site in Kete Kesu which is estimated to be around 700 years old.

As you can see there are skulls on the coffins. As this is an ancient burial site, most of the bodies have completely decomposed. The bones of members of the same family will be placed in the same coffins and the skulls will be put on top like in the picture

 

This is a burial site in Londa. If you look closely on the left, you can find a white coffin hanging on the side of the cliff.

This is a cave in Londa which is another burial site. You can see there are wooden hearses that were used during the funeral ceremony being left there. 

Those effigies are called Tau tau. Pak Salleh told us this was to eternalize the physical appearance of the deceased as there was no such thing as photography in the past. The noble families' effigies are usually better crafted that details like wrinkles, moles are visible on the effigies. These effigies wear clothes and ornaments owned by the deceased

Our last stop for that day was Bori Kalimbuang where more than a hundred megaliths which are called menhir can be found. This place is where families from the highest classes in Toraja hold their funeral ceremonies and the hut in the above picture is where the slaughtering ritual is performed

These megaliths are stones obtained from the mountains which were then carved to its current shape and later underwent several rituals before they were finally erected here. It was not too crowded here and there was this unexplainable peaceful ambiance to this place. Most of the tourists posed with the structures but MR and I thought that it was kind of inappropriate then. 

The burial site in this area is unique. The coffins are placed inside holes that were carved into huge boulders. We saw one that was still under construction but there was nobody working then. It looked extremely laborious because they are hand carved!

 That' all for now! To be continued...

Read More

2021~

 Bismillah...

Before I started with this one, I was looking back at my posts in January last year when I was very hopeful that 2020 would become a better year than 2019. I even posted the recap and the goals in two separate posts! That was just how excited I was about 2020 since in 2019 my grit was consistently tested in all aspects of my life. On the surface, it's easy to conclude that 2020 was such a lame year in which all we did was 'STAY AT HOME'. But when I took some time to look closely at what really happened in my life last year while thinking of what to write for a first post, 2020 was actually not that bad after all. I couldn't even come up with a wordy caption for my annual new year Instagram post because I actually exited the year feeling whole, Alhamdulillah...

I have been living in a fast lane since forever. My childhood were filled with sports or art classes (in which I end up with the least mastery hahaha). Same goes for my teen years; I am perhaps one of the most active student of my batch. I was in the debate team, public speaking, choir, played volleyball, played basketball... Name it, I most probably have tried and trained in it all~ Being busy has always been part of my life that I just can't sit still. Even when I was still blurry of what I wanted to pursue in my career, I manage to find distractions to keep myself occupied. And even in my 30s, when priorities became clearer and I consciously desired a slower pace in life, I still didn't get the time to sit down to quietly and fully reevaluate and restructure life as a whole. But, yes, 2020 has given me that slow pace for reset! 

The best thing would be the spare time I have to learn how to break bad habits and replace them with new positive ones. Since there was not much going on, I could repetitively execute them without disturbance, eventually stick to the routine and have guilt when I skipped. I think one of the habit that was severed since I left university was my spiritual and religious commitment. I forgotten when I last completed reciting the whole Al-Quran (khatam). Being too tired after work and unable to focus became an excuse to not open the Al-Quran but then I would still have the energy for sports bleurgh~ So, ya, I tried to improve in this department; by hook and by crook I must open and read the Al-Quran every day! 

One of the biggest challenge was MCO entirely disrupted my exercise routine because my main activities for these past few years have always been jogging and playing games like futsal, badminton and volleyball. Tabata was only an option when I can't be outdoor because of the weather or I was up to something that I can't go for the activities in most days of a week. In 2020, I have no choice but to commit myself to self indoor training in my tiny humble room. I am so grateful that this happen when the internet is already fast enough and there are a lot of workout videos in YouTube to try out. And as the result of this, when restrictions were lifted, I came back to the court without losing my stamina! And nowadays I am also back on the walls twice a week. I did gain weight though after the MCO in October. I blame the variety of food choices since restaurants were still allowed to fully operate hahaha but I am on my way shedding these extra kilos!

And one that I cherish most is, although I don't get to see my family in Labuan much in 2020, I manage to reconnect with many of my girlfriends from school. It started right before the second MCO in Sabah when one of them organized a birthday party in one of the resort. From there on, more staycations and meet ups have followed. We reminisced, we updated each other on our current lives, discussed current issues and shared knowledge and insights on topics like family, financial etc. It is very refreshing to be surrounded by people who knew us inside out from living and growing up together for five years. We just talked and talked and talked ceaselessly hahaha

As for 2021, the only thing that I am looking forward to is my Masters application. My application in August didn't past the first screening because I missed the section that tells about the required documents to be emailed. The application  was converted to be done fully online last year and there were a lot of confusions. Subsequently, only a small number passed the first screening. I am still hoping to get the University offers and most importantly a scholarship because these are actually the deciding factors that will allow me to make another application for study leave. Like I said I already put my best foot forward hence all I have left is to pray hard for this and leave the rest to Allah~

Ouh.. I also aim to improve my Japanese this year! I don't want what I learned a few years ago to be buried and lost....

Read More

COVID19 Diary #9

 Bismillah...

I feel it's harder to write when I aim to share substance rather than pour random thoughts from my temple hence the slow update of this blog. Alhamdulillah, the number of new cases in Sabah is starting to decrease this week. Today MKN came out with a new SOP and yeay! we are now allowed to dine in and do sports again. 

I have been busy after I was released from quarantine. I was struggling to juggle between work and my scholarship application. The deadline was last week on 3rd of November. Alhamdulillah, I managed to complete the essays. Although writing is quite second nature to me which come rather easily when I put my mind into it, but 'selling' myself on my writings is another thing altogether. I was very much affected by the essay samples from previous scholars too. Their achievements were way beyond mine and their writing skills were impressive. 

There were four essays to be submitted in which you have to show your leadership qualities, your ability to build network, your reasons for choosing to study in the UK and what are your future goals. Having failed to advance for interview before, this time I took the time to read blogs of previous scholars and watch their videos too. And, Alhamdulillah, my boss was the one who personally informed me regarding the scholarship briefing approximately an hour before it started. Compare to 6 years ago, now I have a clearer idea of what the panels are looking for in selecting the awardees. 

To think of it, I could actually exaggerate because the panels will not investigate whether what you are writing is true or not hahaha. But that is against my principle. If I want to win this award, I want to win it with integrity, I want to win it because I truly deserve it rather than try to curate a false image of myself. Eventually, rather than imitating the bombastic paragraphs of the previous scholars' essays, I chose to stick with my own style of writing: fairly highlighting the best parts of my career and honestly projecting what are my future goals. I put my best foot forward to meet the deadline and now I leave the rest to Allah~

Me.. After preparing Remdesivir on a weekend.. 

There was this very beautiful piece written by sister Aliyyah Mohammad Khuzaini on FB that I shared on my wall about women who achieved great things because the men in their lives, the fathers and the husbands, believed in them. Their spouses didn't perceived their extraordinary capabilities as a threat to their ego hence they became their greatest support. She also mentioned that marriage is not a power tussle but a lifelong companionship to propel each other to excel in every aspect of life. What sister Aliyyah wrote completely resonate with my conception on marriage. I have mentioned somewhere in this blog that my thirst for knowledge, my appetite for success, my eagerness to become a person of action is never to prove to the world that I'm the best or better than anyone else. I'm not wired in such way. That was why I never cared if I get first place in class or not as long as I scored straight A's hahaha 

I have not given up on love lol but I have come to a point where I am extremely exhausted of letting 'people' into my life, subsequently being put down and forced to submission. I have to state it clearly that he-who-doesn't-know (faithful readers will know this character lol) was the only one who didn't treat me so. I sometimes do wonder, does my outer appearance misleadingly display myself as someone who is timid, coy and unambitious. Or did these 'people' regard me like a trophy, like someone they wanted to be seen with because I do noticed one similarity in them is that they will tag the pictures of themselves with me on social media and one even shamelessly told me to post on my wall that I was with him! Sometimes I feel like I should have prompt these men earlier on, "If you're insecure and will feel intimidated by my zest for life, please stay away from me..." Hahaha

Currently, I just want to focus on bettering myself like preparing vigorously for my certification exam, being attentive to my university applications and my search for funding while efficiently keeping everything else in life in order. Life is not a race. The only person that we are competing with is  our past selves. I will patiently wait for 'him' who sees me as a challenge but instead of trying to clip my wings or drag me down, we soar~ together.... 

Read More