2021~

 Bismillah...

Before I started with this one, I was looking back at my posts in January last year when I was very hopeful that 2020 would become a better year than 2019. I even posted the recap and the goals in two separate posts! That was just how excited I was about 2020 since in 2019 my grit was consistently tested in all aspects of my life. On the surface, it's easy to conclude that 2020 was such a lame year in which all we did was 'STAY AT HOME'. But when I took some time to look closely at what really happened in my life last year while thinking of what to write for a first post, 2020 was actually not that bad after all. I couldn't even come up with a wordy caption for my annual new year Instagram post because I actually exited the year feeling whole, Alhamdulillah...

I have been living in a fast lane since forever. My childhood were filled with sports or art classes (in which I end up with the least mastery hahaha). Same goes for my teen years; I am perhaps one of the most active student of my batch. I was in the debate team, public speaking, choir, played volleyball, played basketball... Name it, I most probably have tried and trained in it all~ Being busy has always been part of my life that I just can't sit still. Even when I was still blurry of what I wanted to pursue in my career, I manage to find distractions to keep myself occupied. And even in my 30s, when priorities became clearer and I consciously desired a slower pace in life, I still didn't get the time to sit down to quietly and fully reevaluate and restructure life as a whole. But, yes, 2020 has given me that slow pace for reset! 

The best thing would be the spare time I have to learn how to break bad habits and replace them with new positive ones. Since there was not much going on, I could repetitively execute them without disturbance, eventually stick to the routine and have guilt when I skipped. I think one of the habit that was severed since I left university was my spiritual and religious commitment. I forgotten when I last completed reciting the whole Al-Quran (khatam). Being too tired after work and unable to focus became an excuse to not open the Al-Quran but then I would still have the energy for sports bleurgh~ So, ya, I tried to improve in this department; by hook and by crook I must open and read the Al-Quran every day! 

One of the biggest challenge was MCO entirely disrupted my exercise routine because my main activities for these past few years have always been jogging and playing games like futsal, badminton and volleyball. Tabata was only an option when I can't be outdoor because of the weather or I was up to something that I can't go for the activities in most days of a week. In 2020, I have no choice but to commit myself to self indoor training in my tiny humble room. I am so grateful that this happen when the internet is already fast enough and there are a lot of workout videos in YouTube to try out. And as the result of this, when restrictions were lifted, I came back to the court without losing my stamina! And nowadays I am also back on the walls twice a week. I did gain weight though after the MCO in October. I blame the variety of food choices since restaurants were still allowed to fully operate hahaha but I am on my way shedding these extra kilos!

And one that I cherish most is, although I don't get to see my family in Labuan much in 2020, I manage to reconnect with many of my girlfriends from school. It started right before the second MCO in Sabah when one of them organized a birthday party in one of the resort. From there on, more staycations and meet ups have followed. We reminisced, we updated each other on our current lives, discussed current issues and shared knowledge and insights on topics like family, financial etc. It is very refreshing to be surrounded by people who knew us inside out from living and growing up together for five years. We just talked and talked and talked ceaselessly hahaha

As for 2021, the only thing that I am looking forward to is my Masters application. My application in August didn't past the first screening because I missed the section that tells about the required documents to be emailed. The application  was converted to be done fully online last year and there were a lot of confusions. Subsequently, only a small number passed the first screening. I am still hoping to get the University offers and most importantly a scholarship because these are actually the deciding factors that will allow me to make another application for study leave. Like I said I already put my best foot forward hence all I have left is to pray hard for this and leave the rest to Allah~

Ouh.. I also aim to improve my Japanese this year! I don't want what I learned a few years ago to be buried and lost....