2020 Hashtags!

Bismillah...

I intended to write this earlier but the first week of 2020 turned out to be busier than what I expected and I had to put this on hold for almost a week. I have a long list of projects this year despite deciding to sit for an exam. So I've been listing them, determining which one to prioritize, writing deadlines to make sure I don't forget them, planning how to work on them one by one and be sure to complete them on time yosh! Next week I will be busied with some meetings. But actually the kind of meeting that I'm looking forward to because I know I'll be sitting with the type of people who gets the job done. 

So this is another resolution post after the Hijr new year resolution haha. This time  to make it look like I'm not missing out on the current trend, I will make them in the form of hashtag. Here goes!

#IwillNOTlookintoit

I think "I will look into it" was the phrase that I used most last year. Whenever I was informed of an unsolved issue or a task not done well, I don't know why did I even agree to check on it and then took responsibility to correct it. Well, it won't be much of a problem if I didn't caught the person who reported the issue to me saying bad things about me, which was totally untrue, behind my back. That person didn't notice I was already there when he said it hahaha There were also episodes of finger pointing which I think were unnecessary because all it does was distract us from finding the solution to the matters. And the final blow would be when my friend and I had to take the bullet during a meeting where many important people were present. 

I can't wait for last year to end so I can immediately launch my 'non-align movement' in 2020 hahaha I have always been a team player. I don't mind whether I'm placed as a leader or a follower, I'll try to give my best for the team. So what happened last year, to me, was a 'huge betrayal' and it persisted most of the year that I was internally fighting with my own voice that have become very pessimistic. Alhamdulillah, after my 2 weeks holiday, I manage to think clearly and I finally got hold of myself. I came back already knowing how I should handle the situation. And it should start with #IwillNOTlookintoit.

#TrustAllahMORE

I've become more empathetic to leaders ever since I'm given the position to make huge decisions. I realized that there are too many things to consider in making big decision and most of the time it is almost impossible to ensure that everybody involved will benefit from the final verdict. There are times when I'm not proud of my decision too but that was the best options after taking everything into consideration.

Last year, at one point, there was a matter that I think I haven't fully tackle with my fullest of capability. It left me feeling guilty for months that I even confided to my trusted friends about it. The solution to the matter was not in my power at all. I prayed to Allah for guidance, for enlightenment, for assistance because it felt so heavy on my shoulder. To ease my guilt I went to find where I can stop this from happening in the future. I did extensive research on where's the root of the problem, what can I do to stop this from affecting the future generation. Despite my tireless study on it, I know I'm not close to helping those who are already affected.

Perhaps Allah had wanted to see how much effort I put besides praying to Him before He gave me the answer. It was just an ordinary evening at the clinic and I was there to photocopy some documents. Went to the peer support room to have a small chat while waiting for the machine to finish copying. And voilla! Out of the blue, the NGO worker there mentioned something that lead me to what I was looking for. He was so shocked when I suddenly raised my voice, "Why didn't you tell me about it earlier!!!????" Hahaha 

I posted before, that when I look closely to the things that revolves in my life, they are actually my answered prayers. But sometimes we become impatient although actually Allah will eventually reveal to us His answers at the right time just like how I got mine in this story. Thus this year I will #TrustAllahMORE

#TogetherIsPOWER

"It's a lonely road..." says the speaker on the stage, describing his nature of work. Our nature of work is kind of similar. And knowing the boundaries and restrictions that we actually have to abide by, I don't quite agree with his method of revealing stories on social media in the name of creating awareness. For a second, what he said sort of resonate with how I feel when there are certain things that I have to keep to myself. But then, I thought no. Doing good shouldn't be a lonely road. It should be done together with the people who has the same passion and whatever troubles that come, then those should also be faced together too.

My opposing opinion that morning has got me thinking about the power of teamwork. How empowering people with the same passion yet possessing different qualities could actually augment impact. In previous years, I already started trying to ensure that my team members' knowledge are of a certain standard that they'll be able to be independently make recommendations and decisions. So this year I'm going to level up by entrusting those whose potentials are still undiscovered to complete the tasks in some of my new projects. I'm taking some risk here. But I strongly believe that I saw more in the people that I've personally chosen.

I overheard someone said to someone, "A good leader delegates". I think that's something they learned from the club where both of them happened to be a member. But I think  many people misunderstood 'delegating' big time. They end up letting somebody else do their job for them and only wait to take the credit. And if things go wrong, they will not take responsibility and will easily put the blame on others. So either way, they will still look good, no?  I agree that a good leader delegates but although he or she let others settle the task, truth is actually that leader is the best person for that job. He or she delegates to push potentials, to see results that are beyond his or her limited capabilities thus he or she never entirely drop the assignment only waiting to take credit. A true leader will be there the entire process and will take responsibility if things go off course. I have longed realized I won't be able to maximize outcomes if I intend to be the only one in the limelight but this year I want to try something new. #TogetherIsPOWER thus this time I want to add the number to my 'Together' to produce more POWER.

#PassItOn

I've been searching for people who are going to sit for the same exam but to no avail. I wanted to share materials or, if possible, do a study group. I contacted someone who already sat for it and somehow was not surprised when the response that I got was rather 'unfriendly'. At first I thought, what did I ever do wrong to get that kind of hurm 'hostility'. But then I just waived the matter and continue to search for other resources. Anyway, that person already got the taste of karma and I do sincerely feel sorry for what the person has to go through (^^") And back to my story, Alhamdulillah, after that I got connected to the right people and I also manage to get some very good study materials. In spite of setbacks, Allah's help came to calm the storm so now my duty is to fully utilize the means that have been bestowed to me.

So how does the hashtag relate to the introductory part? I found a lesson from being sort of 'mistreated'. People will have his or her own justifications but it seems like the person I contacted was not keen of sharing, don't favour in raising others. Sukahati la kau sana.. My bestfriend from university shared Tim Cook's inspiring commencement address and my favourite part of his speech is this

"When your time comes, it will, you'll never be ready. But you're not supposed to be. Find the hope in the unexpected. Find the courage in the challenge. Find your vision on solitary road. There are too many people who wants credit without responsibility. Too many showed up for the ribbon cutting without building anything worth a damn. Be different. Make something worthy. And always remember; you can't take it with you. You're going to have to pass it on."

Seeking for more and more knowledge is not merely for an individual self satisfaction that he or she has reached such and such level of intelligence. I want to keep this in mind and I hope this post will one day remind me again that no matter how much I know, it is of no use to me in the Hereafter unless I #PassItOn, unless I raise others so that the knowledge continue to expand and touch other people's life.

#FinancialFreedom

Lets start this one with a story of me sitting idly in a clinic's pantry some years ago waiting for the microwave to finish reheating my food. A man came in with a cup of coffee in one hand and a tablet in another. He sat beside me and started the conversation. It was just a normal stranger to stranger interaction at first but after a few minutes this guy started to show off his luxurious cars, the house he lives in and the houses that he rented out etc . And as you can guess this guy was trying to lure me into joining some sort of a pyramid scheme. And then a few weeks later, a junior from school whom I was quite close with told me she was going to take a year off from work and see whether this 'business' will work out for her. Long story short, she is now back to work as a government servant.

Sometimes I don't understand how some people just don't learn from history. I remember when I was little, the news showed a group of discontented adults in front of what seems like a vacated and an inoperative office claiming they've been cheated by Ponzi. This Ponzi thing seriously come and go with different names! I know people who didn't graduate from uni because they decided to drop out and focus on 'business'. I also have friends who maxed out their loan in order to amplify their passive income and finally they end up going in and out of court to get back what's rightfully theirs. And recently, I found that a good friend who left his day to day job to do full-time 'business' actually just got back on track after he was scammed by the founder of the 'business' where he almost lost all his assets!

I'm lucky to have friends with whom I can openly discuss about financial management. Since there's no particular rule of thumb in managing your finances, all we have to do is find and adopt ways that suit our goals best. I'm a believer of hard work and I don't dream to live the life of the riches. The first thing that come into mind upon seeing a huge bungalow is, "Macam mana la dorang kemas tu...". If I were to have my own family, I want to bring up my kids like how my parents and uncle did where the kids were taught to live within their means. I remember sometimes I was sad that I didn't get to keep up with trends and have to wait until I get good results before I can get what I want. To think of it, I grew up just fine living frugally and never once in my life I felt like I was deprived from any of the necessities.

#FinancialFreedom is one thing that I can pat myself on the back and say "Syabas bete" in 2019. I'm not completely out of debt but I can say, finally I've reached a phase where I am most stable and comfortable with my finances, Alhamdulillah. It was hard work since I refused to earn more and chose to be disciplined instead. I've started with doing extensive research perhaps 4 years ago, list out the options that suit me best and then adopt them. To remain steadfast was a challenge especially when you feel like you're progressing slowly plus this world is just full of temptations.And what's annoying, I started getting calls from loan sharks the moment I finished paying one of my commitment! Hahaha I felt like my privacy have been violated~

The things that I chose to follow were the simple ones like less dining out and cook my own food more, live within my means, avoid extra and hidden charges, shop during sales, don't buy what you don't need. Four years ago, I sworn to live a minimalist life although, as of now, I only manage to achieve a pseudo minimalist life hahaha However, I admit that it does change my life for the better and it simplifies my life. Not only does it helps improve my financial, I find possessing less things actually makes my life more efficient and productive since I have lesser objects to deal with. For 2020, I want to maintain this #FinancialFreedom. Yosh!

#GetThingsDone

I don't know whether this is a life phase or what, but I've reached this point where I'm done with hanging out aimlessly like I used to back in the 20s and will prefer to stay at home to do something more productive or just enjoy relaxing on my bed after a busy day. I mean, even if you hang out to talk about world issues and all, that's still just a hang out without giving any impact. Perhaps this habit can give a false notion that you're updated with current issues yet in reality basically there's nothing world changing there lol

Last year I learned to differentiate between being busy and being productive. You can actually be busy without getting anything done. Getting things done used to be a struggle because I was so into perfection. I spent too much time in planning and was late to start. I don't remember which point of my career made me change. Maybe because there are so many tasks at hand, so I have no choice but to make sure everything gets done in a timely manner. These days, I will make a due date on when to start and by then I must start and will improve as I go. Since I have quite a number of huge projects this year, I must take this #GetThingsDone very seriously!

"Many people in the self-development world are knowledge-junkies who only like to gather more knowledge but then won’t take real action upon what they know — which creates a false sense of personal development."

"You lose because you are playing safe! You could've won if you took the risk by withdrawing this card!" and his friend said "Ouch!". His expression remained calm, though.

When I first read the above excerpt, I actually thought more about him than about myself. I saw a lot of potential in him but as I get to know him for a year, I noticed that he is quite reluctant to step out of his bubble. I don't think he even notice the bubble. It's crystal clear to me as an outsider, what was once 'out of a comfort zone' has become a common place that makes him stationary. Sometimes, I do feel like bursting his bubble, pull his hand, drag him out, and tell him straight "Just stop discussing ideas endlessly already and BECOME!" hahaha I don't want to change him but ya... I just think he can become more than what he is now if he just get out of that bubble and forge ahead! (I really hope he doesn't read this blog 😂) 

#GiveAwayLove

It's been 717 days, and I'm still in love with the same guy. Some guy text me "Salam" this morning and I totally ignored it. When I was 'discussing' with my friends about why I was annoyed with that text then I started to realize, oh that's just typically me who gets annoyed with every text I get from guys hahaha that's why I got teased a lot for being too soft with Mr 717 days. 

Anyway that's just a side story hahaha In 2019, besides trying hard to stay positive and motivated working beside a very toxic person, another hardest thing to do was to hold back love. That's very very hard to do and I failed so many times like only God knows how worried I was when he got stung.. 😭

So this year, I dont want to hold back love anymore. I have so much love to give to the world and although I can't express it to a particular someone, let that love be transformed to a love that attract more of God's love. There a lot of people out there that in need of caring and a helping hand, thus lets #GiveAwayLove and may we find blessings in abundance from doing so... 

I believe, whatever is written by Allah for us is the best for both of us... 

So that's it.. 

Panjangnya ya Auloh.. 

But ya, I'm so motivated to make 2020 better. Working alongside a toxic person can really affect you but this year I am not going to lose myself anymore 😎