The Act of Giving...

Bismillah...

I don't quite remember with whom I had the conversation with many years ago. At that time we were discussing of how the chance to do an act of charity,  an act of giving or an act of kindness are actually sort of God sent.

Why did that person find that lost item instead of another?
Why did that lost person came to one particular person to ask for direction when there were many others around?
Why did that one person found himself being near to someone who needed assistance while one person never finds himself in such situation?

I, myself, have so many times unable to attend charity events due to unavoidable reasons. It was either I already had something scheduled on that date or the event already had enough volunteers and had no room for this ambivert pharmacist.

Recently, when one of my friend came back from a humanitarian mission in Bangladesh at one of the Rohingya refugee camp there, we talked a lot about contributions outside our working field. How it's actually a whole different experience although caring for patients is our day in and day out job. But then the chances to be 'physically' involved in one is rather thin. But.... actually we can always always do MONETARY contributions hehehe

So for this post I'm going to share in my blog some reliable organizations to donate to. Sometimes I think most people  has the intention, but don't know where to start.

The online donation process for every website that I linked to in this post are almost similar. You can choose to what kind of program do you want your donation to be channeled to. And you can also select whether to contribute to a local program or an international one.

1. Islamic Relief Malaysia

This is an international organization that was founded in UK back in 1984. You can register yourself as a volunteer and also donate online. Although there's the word 'Islamic' there, the development projects and humanitarian relief missions are not limited to Muslims only but also reaches all races, religion etc.

 They also have Zakat, Fidyah and MySedekah options and you will get receipt for tax relief.

2. Mercy Mission

This one is not to be confused with Mercy Malaysia. Mercy Mission is also an organization founded in UK and basically focuses on developing the Muslim community through knowledge. This is the organizer of the annual conference 'Twins of Faith' in Putrajaya.

The link goes straight to the donation page. Their projects mainly on building schools and also feeding the poor.

3. Mercy Malaysia

I think this one needs no introduction. This is our most active response team when it comes to local or international disaster. So, if you have dreamed of becoming one of the volunteer after seeing them in action on TV, this is another way to contribute.

4. Global Peace Malaysia

This one is famous because a lot of Malaysian artists are involved in their projects. But most people that I know only know about the projects rather than the body that's behind it. You can also sign up as a volunteer and they even have this backpacking package to neighboring countries for charity work.

Okay that's all for tonight~

(^^)/

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ADULTING~

Bismillah...

I remember back in secondary school, that was from 1999 to 2003, where the topic of our essays were often about the impact of globalization. At that time, internet connections were limited. The one at home was so noisy that you prayed hard that the connection noise won't wake your family up in the middle of the night when you feel like having a chat with strangers in MIRC. Or you can spend RM 5 per hour at an internet cafe which was a booming business during that time.


The typical points of the essay would be, the inflow of western cultures that might lead to social issues, the influx of hedonism and whatnot. The focus was being more on the invasion of another doctrine and culture. I myself didn't foresee that I will live in a day of extensive sharing of personal information, daily routines, insignificant issues and irrelevant opinions. These gave birth to terms like 'viral' which means a rapidly circulating information and 'cyber bully' where one is harassed through social media.


Back in the university, my friends and I were somewhat active in some movements like for the Palestinians and we were very much updated with issues pertaining to Islamophobia. We were reactive at that time, whenever we were discussing about it we were fuming with anger and were devising strategies that should be done. But then as we grow, we learned that being reactive is not a solution, some battles cannot be won with just giving opinions, it's more to ACTION. And for international issues that's been going on for decades, like the ones in Palestine, Syria, I find being angry at all times is emotionally consuming. For this kind of conflict, I think at best, if we couldn't stand as a spoke person that fights for their rights, or not given the opportunity to join humanitarian missions, there are still many other ways to make things easy for these victims of war than just giving your two cents~


Going back to the quote I shared above, if we are not busied with things that gives bigger meaning then we will start to waste our time on puny matters that doesn't give impact to anybody. I don't really know viral stuffs that much since I don't spend much time on social media. And I do agree, there are certain cases or issues that worth attention that has been successfully highlighted through society's pressure in social media. But most of the time, the matters the society reacted to are just unworthy~

There was a debate a few days ago on national television about vaccine: whether it brings more good or more harm. And later the 'prochoice' representative was badly slammed with nasty comments in social media since her delivery of arguments was incoherent and even the content itself was not convincing at all. I felt sorry for her, she should have better prepared herself or just ask somebody else with better debating skill to take her place.


But I think people should focus more on how inspiring Dr Musa has been throughout the show. I think he's a very very very exemplary Muslim Professional. Not only was I awed by his level of knowledge, how he remembers facts, but the way he presented them was in such a concise manner, with simple language that I'm very sure, even those with less educated background could understand. I didn't expect him to quote Quranic verses, so I was stunned. I later learned that he is active with some usrah NGO.


To me, in today's world just save the analogical explanation for those who failed to understand or grasp the true fact. Most people are already well informed. You just have to pick the right words to assist them to understand the facts. I was already enlightened 2 years ago, that you being an individual of knowledge and applying it by yourself is of small impact. You have to teach. It's either to make the people of your circle to be able to apply the knowledge or for those you are serving to understand better and this is true for every single profession. And it is the responsibility of every one with knowledge. I'm still trying to improve myself and that's why these days I seldom refuse if there's request to give talk.

I'm late to realize that I'm actually in an environment that hampers my growth. Perhaps I was clouded: not seeing that actually I can be further than where I am now. Thank God that what was an 'adversity' was actually an eye opener. At first my mind turned rebellious; I started focusing on the person that I saw as an obstacle, started to see his characters, actions and decisions that have led him being somewhat left behind and not significant outside of his 'territory'. I started to search for an exit. Asking myself whether it's worth to stay and not grow or should I just pursue something else.


But if I were to quit and try something else, those years of self-learning and experience will turn futile and I have to start from square one which is finding a new passion. Then it dawned on me that this particular individual will only be a hurdle for as long as I let him to. I can 'escape', I can still grow. I can not be him for a start.

So, I should actually be thankful that other than having role models to emulate, there is also an example whom I shouldn't be like. I learn the importance of maintaining good relationship and network. Being open to new ideas, welcoming interactive and constructive discussions will not only feed your mind but might as well help you earn respect. Whereas, thinking that you're the only one that's right and all the other opinions are crap and doesn't matter will only feed your ego and worse of all, without you realizing it, make you stationary.  To rise, you will have to lift others too. Accept others' mistakes, and rather than blaming and losing trust, the best thing to do is guide. And accept that there will always, always be someone better than you and handle that matter gracefully and with dignity.

I don't know how other people fall in love. For me, undoubtedly a hopeless romantic, love has always been God-sent. It just happen without a reason, slowly but surely. I couldn't brain how one can sulk over a break up and be in a new relationship a week after. And it even annoys me if someone suggest me some nice guy because I know I'm not the kind who can learn to love someone.


At this age, all you want is certainty but it's really hard for people to differentiate how that is different from 'desperation'. When you're at a phase where you're already sure of your priorities, everything in life are at their rightful places and you know how much attention you should invest to each of them. So, when the guy you started to deeply fall in love with are coming closer, you really can't help it to know your place in his life because you want to decide his place in your life and decide how much you should invest on him.


And at this age, I already understand that the person you're in love with are not obliged to reciprocate. Being clear that the feeling is not mutual at least will give you a peace of mind. And I rather be at peace rather than be in prolonged state of confusion. And wanting to make things clear has nothing to do with so you can jump to the next eligible suitor. A hopeless romantic stays in love until only Allah knows when. Nothing changed; that smile will still be a smile that brings calmness, his happiness and success still matters to you that you continue praying for him in your 5 daily prayers, and you can still be friends without any expectation. Allah is kind. He placed love for this man in my heart for a reason, and with time, He will one day replace it for someone that He has created for me.


One thing I don't want to be in a man's life is an obstacle to his hopes and dreams. I myself is very particular in which type of guy I allow into my life because my hopes and dreams are dear to me and I want them to be realized. One thing I adore about him is he is the driven type and it's clear that he knows what he want to do with his life. I saw him as someone who I can climb the ladder of success together. Someone who will not limit my function to only within the household but one who understand that I have a role to play for the betterment of the ummah. However, I guess, I'm the only who sees that lalalala~

I'm really sure Allah has His own reasons to make me fall for someone again after all these years (5 to be exact~)... Perhaps it was just a test... Cinta manusia atau ketaatan...

So yeah.. adulting~ is all the above...

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Nolobuh: 29 - 30 Dec 2018

Bismillah...

This was our closing trip for 2018 which was actually postponed too many times before due to several reasons. EVJ went there before and he was ecstatic when he got back and said that this is a must do. And after this trip, I definitely second that (^^)/

The starting point is Kg, Teritidon, Kota Belud. We started really early that morning. We were suppose to depart at 4 am but I mistakenly put my alarm clock on silent and only woke up at 3.30 am. All my isi isi steamboat were thawed but I needed to fry them first to make them last for the night. So there I was, with eyes half opened, grabbing the frying pan, turning on the stove, pouring the oil and then deep frying all the items. My dad was already up at that hour, waiting to go for congregational morning prayer at the masjid. I noticed him watching me in a curious look hahaha maybe he thought I was sleep walking or something hahaha

We stopped for morning prayer in Tuaran, arrived at the starting point at around 7am. I think we were on gravel road for about 45 minutes before arriving at the village. There, we registered, did some warm ups, given some briefing about the trail, the activities and safety and off we went!

NK was asking me before the trip whether the trail is strenuous. I confidently said "NO" because EVJ described it as "OK JAK". Truthfully, it was quite a challenge since we have loads on our backs and I  even had cramps (Cis bikin malu~). The first part of this trail was a long climb which I didn't expect. However, it's the clear path type, with no annoying stems and barks on top of you that you have to duck, or any fallen trees that you have to cross. So it was just the inclination that was a challenge. 

We arrived at the base camp at noon. We had with us some packed lunch, but EVJ went to cook some Maggi Laksa as well since he brought like 10 packets. I was surprised to see the facilities are actually convenient for a shed like this.

The water source was nearby, there was a proper toilet, they have a place for bonfire and the guides even have a vegetable garden next to the shed! They have pumpkins, chillis, ladies fingers, lemon grass etc. I enjoyed guessing just by looking at the leaves because most of them are not ready for harvest yet, not a single bud. I'm pretty good at it because I'm actually from a family that loves to garden.I don't like to get my hands dirty, though lol

The water source. I was a bit curious how the source was like and during our hike to the 'peak', we got the chance to see it. I don't have the picture of the 'technology' though but I was awed by the simplicity.

We slept on plastic sacks. No complains, I slept like a baby. I wasn't careful enough with the leeches! They came biting me at night because I didn't spray the repellent!

My favourite would be when we went caving that evening. I wished the activity was longer lol. We wade inside the water, enjoyed ourselves at this small waterfall inside the cave and there was a section where there were birds nests.

Personally, I think the activities were simple (ceyh padahal cramp kan hahaha)

But it might be challenging to those who are not water confident, who are uncomfortable with being  in dark, small spaces and those with weak upper body strength since there were a bit rock climbing involved.

The next morning we went for a short hike to the peak that overlook the majestic Mount K.

I've been keeping this post for too long in the draft, so I keep it short and sweet hahaha

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Short Stories...

Bismillah....

I was waiting for my luggage at the conveyor belt when my phone rang that morning. The phone screen showed an unsaved number. I don't usually answer calls from unfamiliar numbers. But since I thought it was too early for scam or credit card calls, I decided to answer it anyway just in case it was something important.

At the end of the line, I heard a lady's voice that I didn't immediately recognize. It was either because  her voice was abnormally raspy at that hour or I was still blurry from the long flight. The call was actually from one of my best friend, RM, calling me to confirm about our best friend's dad demise the night before. "I have no idea. I just arrived. I'm going to ask around and get back to you." And the news was indeed true.

What happened to JF made me thought a lot about my relationship with my parents. How I've grown so much and at times forgot that they are getting older too. Have I made them happy and proud? Have I played my role as a daughter well? Have I fulfilled their needs and wants? I don't know the answers... Or perhaps Allah purposely have made the answers to those questions immeasurable so we will never stop doing the best we can until the time is up.

******

A best friend in Uni once told me, "When things go wrong, always reflect on the initial Niat. And from there decide whether it's worth choosing the easiest exit or keep going.."

It seems like the path for my career advancement was made easy since the day I decided what I want to do in a long run in this profession. The right courses were unexpectedly offered to me. I was introduced to the right people: inspiring ones, those with good connections etc. I was without any doubt made to believe that I will not be faced with any obstacle that will deter my dream. I was terribly wrong.

What I was facing was something that affect how I feel inside rather than a stumbling block that can be solved and removed. I was demotivated to an extend that I feel like I need to just walk away and try something else. But, Alhamdulillah, I got to my senses and thought that this is just one of the first challenge on this path and if I cant withstand this one, how can I thrive until I get to where I intended to be?


*******

It was a temperate December evening, and she was already late. As she pace hurriedly towards where her friends were waiting, she felt like a pair of eyes were tailing her every steps from afar. She stopped, turned to look if it was someone she knew. There he was sitting alone on the bench with his fingers interlocking, still clad in his office wear. He was someone she knew by name but not in person. Their eyes met. She forced a smile. When it was not returned, she turned in embarrassment and start walking towards where she was originally headed. "Weird guy!" she mumbled under her breath. Little did she knew that night that he was going to be her kryptonite.

She already seen it too many times, still it felt the same. There was never fast heartbeat, just a sudden rush of happiness and calmness every time she sees him smile. A mystery, she thought. That evening, as she gazed at the horizon before her where the icy mountains met the blue sky, her thoughts drifted to him. "Where ever he is right now, O Allah, may he always be well in Your Protection and be prosperous in what he does..."

Kryptonite...

"So tell me, what is it about him that makes him such an exception?" her best friend provoked.
"I can't come up with a single reason, actually. Is that weird?"

She had the right reason to be mad that night. But when she had the chance to, she asked "So tell me, how was it..?" instead

To her, it is love that blooms out of nowhere and without a clear reason. To her, he is not obliged to reciprocate. She knows very well, at this point of her life she wants a man who wants a future together, who sees her as a mother to his children and nothing less. Perhaps this love is another gift that she has to cherish. Everything that is meant for her, will finally be hers and if this is not it, it will fade.. Eventually..

As she walks away.. she still wonder.. How can she love so selflessly...
What a mystery~

******

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Kaka GG Favourite Products

Bismillah...

I think MR will find this post cute hahahaha she has been receiving free products for review so I'm kind of inspired to make one post on my current favourite products too. I've always been one of the most beauty conscious among my friends since school years. It's just not obvious because I played it cool (I think..) Unless you spend at least one night in the same room with me, you will never know kahkahkahkah OK here goes...

1. Nella Honey Snail Ultra Moisture Cream (100 g)

THIS IS MY HOLY GRAIL!!!! I was searching for a good night cream after I finished using my Innisfree Green Tea Sleeping Pack and I didn't know which one to choose. I prefer a product that is cheap because I usually don't find buying a more expensive one is of any additional value. Snail based products are generally well known for their excellent moisturizing effect and this one was cheap, the size was relatively huge than others in the market and the reviews were promising.

It cost me RM 39 in Althea. I'm very satisfied with the result. It kept my skin moisturized until the next morning I woke up. And even though it is quite thick and slimy at first, but once you apply it evenly on your skin, you barely feel anything because it is so well absorbed. The thing is it doesn't come with a spatula and of course I have my own. But I'm not very comfortable with opening the container too frequently while there is still a lot of it inside, so I transferred a small amount into a 30g container and will only top it up once it is finished. To minimize contamination, kunun hehehe

2. Misha Perfect Cover BB Cream

Yes, I wear make up in the morning and will look horrific after Zuhur prayer because I wont reapply it hahaha This is actually my second purchase; I bought the first one in Seoul last year. I wasn't looking for anything in particular at that time. I just need a BB cream to replace my old one which was a French product I got from SaSa. MR was the one who told me this one was one of the reviewers favourite so I gave it a try.

Depending on my mood, I usually will apply the make up base first before the BB cream. This way, it will be more even, doesn't caked in air conditioned room and lasting. The coverage is okay but not as good as the Naturactor. I manage to compare because my BFF uses that. I like the natural look it gives that's why I thought this is here to stay!

3. The Falsie Push Up Angel, Maybeline

I don't wear this every day, of course. It's waterproof. I only wear this during 'that time of the month' because if I don't it will just expire on my shelf. I don't have good mascara wearing skills so this one gets its plus point because it does not clump no matter how clumsy the user is hahaha. And it doesn't feel heavy and sticky on my lashes which most mascara do.

4. It's Skin Face Serum

My all-time favourite serum. It's really cheap. It used to cost only RM 25 (30 ml) but I guess due to the high demand now it is RM 30 to RM 35, depending on the type. I tried quite a number and I loved them all! Currently the one on my shelf is the GF type for moisturizing and brightening effect. And I use the VE type at night which is for antioxidant anti aging effect. Takut betul la bha kan aging hahaha

5. Mise-En-Scene Perfect Hair Serum

I don't know how others who wear hijab take care of their hair, but I'm the pretty obsessed type even when my hair is actually covered most of the time. One time, I went to this hair saloon that had a Muslimah area and the price they offered was cheap. A few people recommended so I was influenced. But, that end up with the worst haircut I ever got.. EVER.. It was such a sore sight that I went to a proper hair stylist the next day to get it fixed immediately even when that meant I had to pay 3x the amount I paid for that WORST HAIRCUT EVER..

The first thing I do when I wake up is.. Fix my hair~ That's what I answered in one the IG story template thingy..

So back to the product, it claimed to have 7 kinds of oil; Argan, Camelia, Marula, Olive, Jojoba, Coconut and Apricot Oil. So what it does is it smoothens and strengthens the hair. I find it really does as what was claimed. and I think the best part would be it doesn't leave your hair greasy.

6. CP 1 Raspberry Hair Vinegar

This one is one of the most best selling item and is always out of stock whenever I want to purchase one. I finally get to purchase it in October! 

The key ingredients of this product; Raspberry vinegar extract, peppermint leaf extract and olive oil. It is used exactly like a conditioner. Apply after shampooing, massage to get it evenly spread (not sure if that's a correct term) and leave it for a few minutes before washing it off. It strengthen the hair, makes it more elastic and lustrous and yasssss it works the magic for me!


I think I posted before, I've been pretty adherent with my regime so that's the reason why I can see the results hahaha so kalau tidak istiqomah, nda jugak tu ada effect :p


"Biar 30s and single.. Yang penting Gorgeous~" Haziah Salleh, Dec 2018

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Medical Camp: Pensiangan 23-25 November 2018

Bismillah...

This is my 8th year of service, and this is my very first involvement in a Medical Camp in Sabah! Finally!! \(^^)/

I received last minute offers many times before but I usually have something else scheduled that I have to decline. And for this one, Alhamdulillah, I had an offer on the same day that I turned down another offer to the same place.

Honestly, I was really really excited. Was asking around about this part of interior Sabah from those who went there before. Googled the map and details of the people. I was not even sure of what to wear and was stalking other people's IG to see what they wore to Medical Camp on the night I packed my stuffs. Adui.. Budak bandar konon~ Hahaha

I woke up early on that day and asked my Dad to drive me to the hospital. Our departure was delayed by a few hours due to some transport arrangement issues but I was okay to have arrived early. One of my resolution this year is to improve on punctuality. And I had the chance to study some Japanese while waiting.

We rode an air-conditioned van to Keningau.. I have to mention this because after that we were stuffed in a non AC van for another 3 hours to reach KK Nabawan and then to a village where we shift to a 4WD vehicle. I saw one of the volunteer posted on her IG story "There are 17 of us is this non AC van!" hahaha It was not the most comfortable ride but since I've experienced worst so I was actually okay. At least the ventilation was okay and the road was not bumpy although my legs were not in a comfortable position. Amazingly, AJ manage to fall asleep and the rest of us were occasionally engaged in small talks throughout the journey.

We were the last to arrive and the villagers were already waiting to get their medications. It was quite frantic that evening. Maybe because how the tables were arranged. I guess, those who arrived earlier had set them up in a hurry too. We had to speak loudly to make sure we were heard by our patient; I was struggling because my voice is not the loud type LOL I had no picture of that commotion. Thank God because I'm sure I'll be ugly if there is any hahaha That night we joined the others to pack some gifts and stationery for the kids. And this room on top wass where we spent our night at the first village. I think it was comfortable and I had a good night sleep.

Second day with Dr Emma who came all the way from Serdang to join us serve the people in Pensiangan. We started at around 8 am that morning. The table arrangement was improved so the flow was smoother that morning. At around 11 am, EVJ and LH left to the next village by boat leaving AJ and me. AJ kept on saying "Syukur nyeeeee GG yang tulis~" because she went on and on and on about both of the guys' undecipherable hand writing hahaha

It took around 30 minutes to the next village by boat. I was surprised to see there were strong rapids as we cruise on the river. It got me a bit worried for a while, wondering if the boat can pass them safely. Well it did, Alhamdulillah. There were times when the water splashed and we cheered in excitement. The guy sitting in front turned and asked "First time ke?" hahaha Naaaah~ we're just the type who easily get excited that things will seem like it's our first time every time hahaha

There were fewer patients at the second village that evening. The weather was a bit too hot for me that I was actually trying my best to bear a bad headache throughout the afternoon. Around 4 pm, we went to check our accommodation for that night. I was fast asleep while the rest went to explore the village. Only got hold of PCM later that night and finally it got better. They had some activity at the church but I didn't go and were just chatting with the other girls. EVJ and LH went to play cards with another group of NGO that was there to install solar panels. hurm.. Nampak sangat ketuaan aku kan dalam kisah ini~

We started around 9 am on our last day. Actually, the dentist was the hottest spot of all. We really pity him to have single-handedly handled all the patients in both village. He pulled like more than 40 teeth in a day! 

We left the village at around 12 something that afternoon and our journey upstream took twice the duration downstream. We even stopped to get some fuel midway. There was this other boat that was smaller and the engine was only like 15 horsepower (based on what was printed on the engine). I was observing it every time it was nearby because the way it got drifted away every time it tried to push on against the current was actually horrific! I was like, "Oh My God~ I'm happy I'm not on that boat.."

Cute baby~

The awesome team we worked with! 

One of them is the nurse in my ward who invited me to join along

There is a nurse I played futsal with

And one of them is a nurse I met in India in 2016!!!!! 

Someone in this picture is kind of an Insta Famous and we were stoked when we found out hahahaha

and then we decided to add his number of followers hahaha

Oh that's just me.. In a rare good candid pic hahaha

Smile and salam kiddo!

Mesti aku tengah mengarut ngarut dengan budak ni masa ni

I'm so grateful to have been given the opportunity to experience this :)

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