I remember back in secondary school, that was from 1999 to 2003, where the topic of our essays were often about the impact of globalization. At that time, internet connections were limited. The one at home was so noisy that you prayed hard that the connection noise won't wake your family up in the middle of the night when you feel like having a chat with strangers in MIRC. Or you can spend RM 5 per hour at an internet cafe which was a booming business during that time.
The typical points of the essay would be, the inflow of western cultures that might lead to social issues, the influx of hedonism and whatnot. The focus was being more on the invasion of another doctrine and culture. I myself didn't foresee that I will live in a day of extensive sharing of personal information, daily routines, insignificant issues and irrelevant opinions. These gave birth to terms like 'viral' which means a rapidly circulating information and 'cyber bully' where one is harassed through social media.
Back in the university, my friends and I were somewhat active in some movements like for the Palestinians and we were very much updated with issues pertaining to Islamophobia. We were reactive at that time, whenever we were discussing about it we were fuming with anger and were devising strategies that should be done. But then as we grow, we learned that being reactive is not a solution, some battles cannot be won with just giving opinions, it's more to ACTION. And for international issues that's been going on for decades, like the ones in Palestine, Syria, I find being angry at all times is emotionally consuming. For this kind of conflict, I think at best, if we couldn't stand as a spoke person that fights for their rights, or not given the opportunity to join humanitarian missions, there are still many other ways to make things easy for these victims of war than just giving your two cents~
Going back to the quote I shared above, if we are not busied with things that gives bigger meaning then we will start to waste our time on puny matters that doesn't give impact to anybody. I don't really know viral stuffs that much since I don't spend much time on social media. And I do agree, there are certain cases or issues that worth attention that has been successfully highlighted through society's pressure in social media. But most of the time, the matters the society reacted to are just unworthy~
There was a debate a few days ago on national television about vaccine: whether it brings more good or more harm. And later the 'prochoice' representative was badly slammed with nasty comments in social media since her delivery of arguments was incoherent and even the content itself was not convincing at all. I felt sorry for her, she should have better prepared herself or just ask somebody else with better debating skill to take her place.
But I think people should focus more on how inspiring Dr Musa has been throughout the show. I think he's a very very very exemplary Muslim Professional. Not only was I awed by his level of knowledge, how he remembers facts, but the way he presented them was in such a concise manner, with simple language that I'm very sure, even those with less educated background could understand. I didn't expect him to quote Quranic verses, so I was stunned. I later learned that he is active with some usrah NGO.
To me, in today's world just save the analogical explanation for those who failed to understand or grasp the true fact. Most people are already well informed. You just have to pick the right words to assist them to understand the facts. I was already enlightened 2 years ago, that you being an individual of knowledge and applying it by yourself is of small impact. You have to teach. It's either to make the people of your circle to be able to apply the knowledge or for those you are serving to understand better and this is true for every single profession. And it is the responsibility of every one with knowledge. I'm still trying to improve myself and that's why these days I seldom refuse if there's request to give talk.
I'm late to realize that I'm actually in an environment that hampers my growth. Perhaps I was clouded: not seeing that actually I can be further than where I am now. Thank God that what was an 'adversity' was actually an eye opener. At first my mind turned rebellious; I started focusing on the person that I saw as an obstacle, started to see his characters, actions and decisions that have led him being somewhat left behind and not significant outside of his 'territory'. I started to search for an exit. Asking myself whether it's worth to stay and not grow or should I just pursue something else.
But if I were to quit and try something else, those years of self-learning and experience will turn futile and I have to start from square one which is finding a new passion. Then it dawned on me that this particular individual will only be a hurdle for as long as I let him to. I can 'escape', I can still grow. I can not be him for a start.
So, I should actually be thankful that other than having role models to emulate, there is also an example whom I shouldn't be like. I learn the importance of maintaining good relationship and network. Being open to new ideas, welcoming interactive and constructive discussions will not only feed your mind but might as well help you earn respect. Whereas, thinking that you're the only one that's right and all the other opinions are crap and doesn't matter will only feed your ego and worse of all, without you realizing it, make you stationary. To rise, you will have to lift others too. Accept others' mistakes, and rather than blaming and losing trust, the best thing to do is guide. And accept that there will always, always be someone better than you and handle that matter gracefully and with dignity.
I don't know how other people fall in love. For me, undoubtedly a hopeless romantic, love has always been God-sent. It just happen without a reason, slowly but surely. I couldn't brain how one can sulk over a break up and be in a new relationship a week after. And it even annoys me if someone suggest me some nice guy because I know I'm not the kind who can learn to love someone.
At this age, all you want is certainty but it's really hard for people to differentiate how that is different from 'desperation'. When you're at a phase where you're already sure of your priorities, everything in life are at their rightful places and you know how much attention you should invest to each of them. So, when the guy you started to deeply fall in love with are coming closer, you really can't help it to know your place in his life because you want to decide his place in your life and decide how much you should invest on him.
And at this age, I already understand that the person you're in love with are not obliged to reciprocate. Being clear that the feeling is not mutual at least will give you a peace of mind. And I rather be at peace rather than be in prolonged state of confusion. And wanting to make things clear has nothing to do with so you can jump to the next eligible suitor. A hopeless romantic stays in love until only Allah knows when. Nothing changed; that smile will still be a smile that brings calmness, his happiness and success still matters to you that you continue praying for him in your 5 daily prayers, and you can still be friends without any expectation. Allah is kind. He placed love for this man in my heart for a reason, and with time, He will one day replace it for someone that He has created for me.
One thing I don't want to be in a man's life is an obstacle to his hopes and dreams. I myself is very particular in which type of guy I allow into my life because my hopes and dreams are dear to me and I want them to be realized. One thing I adore about him is he is the driven type and it's clear that he knows what he want to do with his life. I saw him as someone who I can climb the ladder of success together. Someone who will not limit my function to only within the household but one who understand that I have a role to play for the betterment of the ummah. However, I guess, I'm the only who sees that lalalala~
I'm really sure Allah has His own reasons to make me fall for someone again after all these years (5 to be exact~)... Perhaps it was just a test... Cinta manusia atau ketaatan...
So yeah.. adulting~ is all the above...
0 comments:
Post a Comment