Short Stories...

Bismillah....

I was waiting for my luggage at the conveyor belt when my phone rang that morning. The phone screen showed an unsaved number. I don't usually answer calls from unfamiliar numbers. But since I thought it was too early for scam or credit card calls, I decided to answer it anyway just in case it was something important.

At the end of the line, I heard a lady's voice that I didn't immediately recognize. It was either because  her voice was abnormally raspy at that hour or I was still blurry from the long flight. The call was actually from one of my best friend, RM, calling me to confirm about our best friend's dad demise the night before. "I have no idea. I just arrived. I'm going to ask around and get back to you." And the news was indeed true.

What happened to JF made me thought a lot about my relationship with my parents. How I've grown so much and at times forgot that they are getting older too. Have I made them happy and proud? Have I played my role as a daughter well? Have I fulfilled their needs and wants? I don't know the answers... Or perhaps Allah purposely have made the answers to those questions immeasurable so we will never stop doing the best we can until the time is up.

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A best friend in Uni once told me, "When things go wrong, always reflect on the initial Niat. And from there decide whether it's worth choosing the easiest exit or keep going.."

It seems like the path for my career advancement was made easy since the day I decided what I want to do in a long run in this profession. The right courses were unexpectedly offered to me. I was introduced to the right people: inspiring ones, those with good connections etc. I was without any doubt made to believe that I will not be faced with any obstacle that will deter my dream. I was terribly wrong.

What I was facing was something that affect how I feel inside rather than a stumbling block that can be solved and removed. I was demotivated to an extend that I feel like I need to just walk away and try something else. But, Alhamdulillah, I got to my senses and thought that this is just one of the first challenge on this path and if I cant withstand this one, how can I thrive until I get to where I intended to be?


*******

It was a temperate December evening, and she was already late. As she pace hurriedly towards where her friends were waiting, she felt like a pair of eyes were tailing her every steps from afar. She stopped, turned to look if it was someone she knew. There he was sitting alone on the bench with his fingers interlocking, still clad in his office wear. He was someone she knew by name but not in person. Their eyes met. She forced a smile. When it was not returned, she turned in embarrassment and start walking towards where she was originally headed. "Weird guy!" she mumbled under her breath. Little did she knew that night that he was going to be her kryptonite.

She already seen it too many times, still it felt the same. There was never fast heartbeat, just a sudden rush of happiness and calmness every time she sees him smile. A mystery, she thought. That evening, as she gazed at the horizon before her where the icy mountains met the blue sky, her thoughts drifted to him. "Where ever he is right now, O Allah, may he always be well in Your Protection and be prosperous in what he does..."

Kryptonite...

"So tell me, what is it about him that makes him such an exception?" her best friend provoked.
"I can't come up with a single reason, actually. Is that weird?"

She had the right reason to be mad that night. But when she had the chance to, she asked "So tell me, how was it..?" instead

To her, it is love that blooms out of nowhere and without a clear reason. To her, he is not obliged to reciprocate. She knows very well, at this point of her life she wants a man who wants a future together, who sees her as a mother to his children and nothing less. Perhaps this love is another gift that she has to cherish. Everything that is meant for her, will finally be hers and if this is not it, it will fade.. Eventually..

As she walks away.. she still wonder.. How can she love so selflessly...
What a mystery~

******