Rasa...

Bismilah....

Kubur....

I don't know if I can ever get use to reading Nuyui's name on the tombstone... Ever...
As we walk down the hill towards my car Mommy said,

"It still feel strange not to have Nuyui around..."
"It's going to be 5 years tomorrow, Meh... 16 June..."
"Is it..? When I think about her.. I'll start thinking of Nenek.. And then your Grandfather... How much I actually miss them..."
Noticing the crack in her voice, I cut in...

"We are here to remind ourselves that it will be our turn one day..."

Truth is, I don't know if my words were actually meant to comfort her or myself...
While everybody was busy in the kitchen, I went to the glass display case where all Nuyui's trophies, student cards and even notes were placed. Reminiscing what a wonderful and special girl she was during her lifetime, it made sense that she had returned earlier to the Creator~

Doa

The sound of rain drops tapping against the window became louder and louder as I was done with my Maghrib prayer that evening. There were three of us in the Musolla but it felt like I was alone because the two were silently praying behind of me.

I don't know if everybody say the same set of prayers every time they pray, but I do... For many years, most of the words never change, just some addition whenever I have something that I particularly wished for.

It was just another one of the five times daily routine of the day.. The fourth time I said the same set of prayers, to be exact, on that day. But perhaps the chill and the tranquility of the moment made me hear my own prayers clearer that evening. I started to realize that what is currently revolving within my life is actually the result of answered prayers... My years and years of asking~

What's really hard to recognize? Is the answer for things that you ask Allah to protect you from~

Keperluan

Allah will always give you what you need at the right time, I believe...

It was one of the odd days where I was holding back remorse and trying to tell myself I was just being too overly emotional over things that I can't control. When I was alone during the rest of that day, I was constantly telling myself "Things will be just okay and I was just imagining the worse". Literally chanting in my head.

And when the day was about to end, Allah sent me something that never fail to put a smile on my face. Even if it was just in a split second, that was what I need~

Hati

A smile that gives calmness to your heart don't come every day, do they?
Maybe that was why Allah gave me years to finally see that first one.
After that, I went back frightened of that once familiar feeling seeping back into me without warning and it was from someone I never expect.
For months I tried to 'logicize' my feelings to this complete stranger but to no avail..
Has Allah drew him closer to me...???
Close enough for me to know that he is a different breed of smart... Hahaha

Naturally, being someone who have learnt so much about 'What's meant to be will be', I'm keeping my distance. I just can't help asking "Are you just another lesson or is it really 'you'?"

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Recipe Hari Raya 2018 (^^)

Bismillah...

Since I felt guilty because I rejected my big bro's idea to go for vacation this Raya, I actually splurged on food this time. I mindlessly ordered quite a number of Raya biscuits thinking that I could use my 'Bonus Raya' to cover the cost which in the end happened to be hurm... non existent.. hahaha

One of the reason why I suddenly feel like cooking these days is because I'm sort of inspired by this woman who is the same age as me who seem to be very good at it. I think I better start cooking again before I totally lose my touch like how writing lesser and lesser made me lose my voice.

So... I made some sushi for the first time the night before Raya. Usually I'll be busy with baking cakes, but this year I gave it a pass since baking cakes are such a cliche hahaha

I've been looking for Sumo rice for a few times but I just can't find it whenever I go looking for it. The one I used was Hikari brand that I got from Everise. I don't know how Sumo rice is cooked, but I strictly adhered to the instruction at the back of the packing for this one. That is...

• Wash the rice 3 times until the water become clear
• Soak in water for 30 minutes to 1 hour before cooking

I went out with my niece to do some last minute shopping while soaking the rice and was still not home by the time it reached 1 hour. I was anxiously looking at my watch every now and then to make sure my rice is cooked on time hahaha so Cece called Kimi, "Ti.. Tekan nasi aunty gg..." Because it was all ready inside the cooker waiting to be cooked hahaha

I got the rice vinegar ready, just a random brand I picked up in Survay. Diluted some sugar and salt inside the vinegar and later mixed it with the rice. Placed the nori on top of the sushi mat and spread the rice on top. Put the cucumber and filling in the middle and ROLL! Dan ijyodesu!

The next one I cooked the next morning was Kuah Kacang Dengan Ayam Istimewa that I got from this → blog. I actually tried a lot of her recipes and so far the results are satisfying hehe I wasn't in the mood at first because I was a bit tired from driving the day before raya, and then was cooking for the break fast and later made sushi but since my family kept asking me, "Masak apa u esok??" so I was like ok I'll just cook Mihun Goreng, Nasi Impit and Kuah Kacang~

I had failed attempts with Kuah Kacang before but this one SADAP! hahaha padulila puji masakan sendiri 😝 who reads this blog anyway~

I was confident that I could finish before the others return from the Eid prayer and started from scratch at around 6 am. I have this habit of trying to prepare any dish within one hour no matter how complex the steps are haha kunun2 masterchef~ But fate had it.. As I was boiling the water to soak my cili kering and also boiling the Nasi Impit packet on the other burner.. POOF! Api padam~

I panicked and screamed, "ABANG!!!!!!!!!!! KENAPA API NI PADAM!!!!!!!!!!!!???" 

The solution at that hour when the possibility of buying gas was near to none, we manage to borrow tong gas from our tenant.. fuh~

I just followed the recipe inside the link..

Roasted the chicken inside the oven for about 15 minutes. The idea is to let it dry so the meat will not shred when it is mixed with the kuah kacang later

The thing I never did in my previous attempts was simmer the kacang in water before mixing it with the blended ingredients. The idea is so that the kacang would not soak in too much water while it's cooked.

My family think it was good but they complained the kacang was too coarse hahahaha I didn't use the grinder because I find the end result is too fine so I used the blender instead. There were some peanuts that were not cut at all and I was too lazy to crush them since I already wasted more than half an hour with the gas issue hahaha

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Recipe: Sticky Honey Garlic Butter Shrimp

Bismillah...

I think the last time I shared recipes was somewhere back during my undergraduate days. There weren't much, though. Truth is, I always lose all those good recipes I got online so from now on, I'm going to put them here after trying them out.

I haven't been cooking much since Babah retired because he always cook and also since my little brother start studying in Sarawak, I don't have anybody to try out my new cooking. Tau la orang tua bukan suka pon benda benda too fancy. Still, although I've gotten back my passion in cooking, it still doesn't feel the same like when Nuyui was around. Excited sorang2 when it taste good and I don't have anybody to discuss what should be adjusted to make it taste better. Pijah is the eating type, NOT the cooking type hahaha So I'm just going to comment on my OWN cooking in my OWN blog. Biarlah excited sendiri...

This recipe was shared by one of my teacher on FB and I found the ingredient are easy to find and its preparation time took me less than 20 mins actually; I started at around 6.00 pm and was done by 6.17 pm. The full recipe can be found in this ➟ blog

The above is how it is supposed to look like.. But mine looks like this...

Since I only have 9 shrimps (I literally count how many I put into my plastic at the supermarket hehe), so I adjusted the amount of ingredients

- Honey
- Soy sauce is half of the honey
- Not being too particular of how much garlic I minced
- 1 standard size lemon
- Not being particular with pepper too since I like it, and half a teaspoon salt
- 2 table spoon of butter for frying
- Green onions sesuka hati~

I think in terms of taste, I might have gotten it right since my parents finished them (They usually don't even touch my fancy cooking ok~)

Just the appearance is not quite there yet.. I think the soy sauce that I used was too thin, should get the thicker one next time. And maybe I should reduce the amount of butter if I ever cook this much again because it was obviously too much just now that I have to use big fire to dry it out a bit.

It is really simple but very tasty! Will be one of my quick signature cooking! (^^) Happy~

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