Curhat... Hard days will come.. But in the end..

Change is sometimes unavoidable.. They say, we'll grow with change.. That's a motivating statement but adapting to change and the growing process is not as easy as it sounds..

The last time I wrote a preamble like this one was when I had this self-deprecation episode during my clinical rotation; that was during my 1-year training. Not that I'm having another depressive episode or what ever. I just have this load in my heart right now that I need to pour it out in a lengthy post. Hopefully it won't be too emo and too negative.. 

Well, like most of you might have known already, I've been posted to a new place; replacing a colleague who decided to resign and make a giant leap in his career. I was not surprised when I was named to take his place considering that the pharmacy that I was in charged in had to be shut down due to some reasons. But, of course, my partial acceptance came with some fears....

New place.. New environment.. New people.. New discipline.. New responsibilities..

I think I will be able to cope well with the first three but the last two are the ones that worried me most. The new place concentrates on infectious disease so the wards basically house patients that require long-term antibiotics, close monitoring and isolation. Being in in patient for a year now, I identified my weaknesses.. And one of them is antibiotics... How can I be an infectious disease pharmacist when I'm not good in antibiotics? Earlier this year, during one of my meeting with my boss, I confided that I still have problems understanding antiobiotic regimens and even requested to be sent to any antibiotics workshop..

My responsibilities is somewhat extended in this new setting.. Now, I have to attend ward rounds every morning. Then go back to the pharmacy to supply medications. Then, if any patient is newly started on antiretroviral therapy, I would have to do counselling. And I'll be in charge of the stock, of purchasing special items and also dispensing discharge medications... I'm not complaining of the work load, no.. Sometimes it can be very relaxing there and I think I will have enough energy to do it. But this is a big responsibility that I'm not sure whether I can do it well enough... It seems that my colleague had done a great job that I only heard him lauded with praises by all the staffs there.. I just don't want to frustrate any parties..

Another thing I can't handle is the ward rounds.. I may complaint a lot about my legs hurting so bad every morning lately. But actually, I can't bare watching the patients.. I can't bare watching them lying there, looking so frail, so malnourished. Some turned so yellow due to damaged liver.. Some are even paralyzed by an infection that eats away brain tissues.. I found myself fighting back tears half of the ward round everyday.. I just can't look at things like that.. I'm too emotional~

Hurm... My other colleagues have been supportive. They said I'm ready for it. After a week there, 3 of them text me, asking how were things in the new place. And they always answer my questions almost immediately whenever I'm not sure about the clinical pharmacy stuff.. It seems that they believe in me more than I believe in myself...

After an endless self-affirmation, I've come to my senses... All these worries are wasteful.. Although it's good to predict the challenges ahead, but if it's to an extend that it dwells in your head and sort of hinder your productivity; that's a no-no, Haziah..

If you're not good in antibiotics? Study la bha, Haziah

If you're not good in clinical and you don't like looking like a loser during ward rounds?

Improve la your skill, Haziah

If you're worry about not being able to satisfy everybody..

Just do your best la bha.. Other's satisfaction tu nanti2 la yang penting you did your best :)

If you can't handle the 'scene'

Take your own time to get used to it.. It's normal to feel a bit emotional looking at them.. That makes you human.. But don't be overwhelmed by it la Haziah..

To think of it, this is the best plan that Allah has made for me. I always like clinical pharmacy but I'm not confident to be a clinical pharmacist just yet. I thought I should become an in patient pharmacist first to have my own time familiarizing myself with drugs and regimens. That was why I was so eager covering my clinical pharmacist friends when they go for a leave. But still my exposure wasn't much. He knows now is the right time and I don't..

I was taught not to give up and I always try not to.. But if it's not worth fighting for, I can easily let it go and move on.. But for this case.. It's worth not giving up (^^)

\\(".) I seek guidance from You, O Allah, in ll of  my doings here on earth.. Amin~

In the end... Everything should be just fine.. Just as planned.. Not mine.. But His plan :)

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Korea Trip: Seoul Final Part

On our last day in Korea, MR and I set off at about 9 am. We were still in our sight-seeing mode so we went straight to see King Sejong's statue which is erected in the middle of the city. He's known as Sejong the great for his great achievements during his reign. It was during his time Hangul was created. The Sejong museum was closed since it was Monday. Terasa rugi di situ.. :(

And just a few meters in front of it, stood the Admiral Yi Sun Sin statue

Alamak x nampak pulak muka dia..Actually, this statue is very scary!! Why? Because where ever I stood, it seem to be staring at me!!! haha

He is regarded as a national hero for leading quite a number of victorious battle in his era. 

Actually, Kyeongbuk Palace was nearby and it was opened. But since we want to visit Changdeokgung palace, we only took some pics in front of the gate

And this is Gwanghamun Nangsaro; a rice farm in Gwanghamun Square. There are more than 1000 boxes of rice seedling here and this is actually the government's effort to give better understanding to the citizens of  farming villages and promote the idea that urban and rural areas can coexist successfully :)

So, on our way to Cheonggyecheon stream by foot, we saw about 2 to 3 preserved buildings like this one. They are decades and centuries old!!! (^^) Sangat kagum!!!!

This is the beginning of Cheonggyecheon stream. What so special about this stream?? It was once covered with concrete for 20 years and was completely restored and opened to public in 2005. Why was it covered?? Well, after the Korean War, many Koreans migrated to Seoul and made settlements along the stream. The stream was a sore sight at that time with trash floating about and foul smell from waste. So they decided to cover it up and in the 70's a highway was built on top of it. But in 2003, the mayor that time decide to restore the stream and voila it is now one of the must-see attraction in Seoul. The stream also comes with other economic and environmental  benefits as well :)

It was almost empty that morning. Only MR and I, 4 gentlemen from Thailand and some Koreans on their way to work. We had breakfast at the river bank (^^) Ooo sangat feel~

What we don't know was, there is actually a laser show every night and in special occasions, lanterns are lit along the river. So kawan2, jangan lupa pegi Cheonggyecheon stream pada waktu malam!

And then we continue to walk towards Changdeokgung dan dan dan IANYA TUTOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, DO NOT SCHEDULE YOUR CULTURAL EXPERIENCE ACTIVITY ON MONDAY!!!!

T_T isk isk.. This is the 2nd biggest frustration in Korea since I really want to see how the palace is like inside, marvel at the architecture and learn about Joseon Dynasty (nerd bha kn ko ni, Haziah?? :p)

so with a heavy heart, we head towards Insadong for SHOPPING!!!!!!!! \(^^)/ Penawar hati~

Actually, I manage to control my shopping habit for the past 2 years and  focused on saving for my travels.. But in Seoul I had an episode of shopaholic relapse! This was when my precioussssssss magic golden plastic card come in handy. I bought that bag so that I can stuff everything inside as I shop so there's no need to pack again later. I think this was nifty :p but what I didn't realize was, the space was so big that I tend to buy and buy and buy until it is fat and heaped! And Voilla! RM 1k in my credit card bill.. Not much, right?? WRONG! I also spent cash there.. So banyak sebenarnya!!! 

Here comes Tips #2: Use your credit card because the currency conversion rate is much lower! 

The rate that we got at the money changer was 1000 won = 2.79 but in the bill it's 1000 won = 2.76!

Insadong

And now show off time.. What I bought in Korea! Actually, there's nothing much. I'm just excited to have them :p

The bracelets I bought in Hongdae (^^) 

MR: Ceh! Tak perlu la nak shining2 dalam gamba

The tin cup that I bought in DMZ

I think this cup look so classical and it has this history-like aura :p

And my favourite of all is this travel board that have flag tiles so you can mark where you've been and wanna go (^^)/ But I haven't decide where to hang it :P

Remember the Swiss guy that I sat next to during our DMZ tour.. When he asked about my age and whether I'm married or not, I answered, "I'm 2*.. At this age most women in our country are already married. But me and my friends choose to travel first.." Then he said, "Oh it's okay. That means you don't want to be conventional, you want to explore the world and see things. Travel is EDUCATION.."

Yup, we learned a lot during this trip..

First, the warmth that we receive from the Koreans. So often our society is shackled by prejudice. Almost everything new is assailed with accusation of conspiracy and whatnot. But in Korea, we were different and was a new sight to Koreans who are not from Seoul. Despite the apparent difference in language and the way we dress, they greeted us with a smile and assisted us sincerely when we needed help. And the most memorable part was when we were provided with a room for prayer. This is a good exemplary of acceptance and respect to others. 

Second, we learnt the importance of tolerance... The Korean suffered a lot during the Korean War and was still struggling to gain stability in the late 50's. If both the North and South does not resolve to tolerate and let the other be with the principles they hold, the blood shed could have last to this day like in so many other countries at the other parts of the world. During the DMZ tour, you can sense how the Korean really appreciate the peace that they have now because they've gone through bitter times.. This somehow taught us to be grateful as well...

We also saw how the integrity instilled in each of them has driven this country to another level which is far from ours. We witnessed the efficiency of the country from utilizing all improvised systems. We talked about how they manage to do a quicker flight boarding, how they can make the traffic in a big city so smooth during the rush hour, how there is no congestion in the subway during the rush hour and many other competency that made us awe-struck..

To think of it, it is not that we are lack of technology but it got to do with the system, attitude and mentality. Sometimes, we have the facility but not fully utilized. We developed new systems but what's lacking was never improvised. And the saddest part is when people refuse to adapt to new systems and continue to be stuck in the old fashioned way because they are used to it and too comfortable with it.

Hurm.. Actually, I can't wait for my next adventure.. I just love being in a new surrounding, meeting new people and learning what ever there is to be learnt... I hope you learn something too.Off to survey some video cams (^^)/

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Korea Trip: Seoul Part 4

I say, HH should be the most excited about going to Nami Island. She talked about wanting to wear skirt on that day and cycling around the island during our chat in FB. For my part, I wasn't too excited about this place which is famous for the shooting place for 'Winter Sonata'. The romantic aura that it is said to evoke has no effect on me plus it is quite far from Seoul; 2 hours journey. But, when I found out there's a Bungee Jump there and a 900++ m Zipwire,  Nami Island became one of the attraction that I was waiting for.

GG: HH, Jangan pakai skirt unless ko tak nak Bungee Jump
HH: Olo.. Nanti aku tukar la suar balik
GG: Heh! Sukati la!

So on that morning we set off early; around 8 am after breakfast. Took the ITX and head straight toward Gapyeong station. All seats were full so we bought the standing ticket.

Despite the journey being two hours (plus we were standing), the beautiful scenery somehow made it less daunting for me. I was staring out the window along the way and paid little attention to the others' conversation. SJ even accused me of thinking about he-who-doesn't-know but actually I was enjoying the scenic transition from the urban and highly populated view to the more country side view where there were hills and greenery everywhere. Ok, mungkin ada la terlintas di fikiran beberapa minit haha x mo menipu :p

When we reached Gapyeong, we were slightly confused by the bus schedule. Luckily there was an old lad who looks like a tour guide who was able to speak English and he explained to us how to go to Nami Island. The bus was full but not all were going to Nami. Actually Nami is located in a district that offers lots of recreational activities so some of them were going for a picnic somewhere and some were going for hiking in which you can clearly tell from their hiking suit.

The first thing that came into view was the Bungee Jump platform so we decided to do the jump first. We were not sure about the height. I estimated it to be around 30-40 m but actually the platform is 55 m.

Here's the video before the jump. Mate kenyit2 sebab sangat la silau. Not wearing my sunnies because we left all our belongings with MR who was not feeling well so she cancelled her jump.

So, firstly, we paid for the ticket. Cost us 40 000 won. Then we weigh ourselves on an electronic scale and the staff added 2 kg to our weight and scribbled the total weight on our hand with a marker pen. There are 3 different colour chords. Yellow is for 40 kg - 60 kg; I can't remember the other colours but yeah, different weight range uses different chord. I was surprised to see my weight. I lost 2 kg in Korea!!!!!!!!! We waited for about an hour for our turn since the queue was quite long. So we watched the others jump; most of them were silent..

GG: Ni diam ni sebab brani sangat ke takot ek? Aku rse takot ni...

So RA was called first, but then while she was waiting for her turn, SJ, HH and I was called to the lift. So finally, I was the first to jump. During the briefing, we were told to jump after the count of 5 and we must cover our face during the first bounce to avoid from the chord hitting the face. Tapi aku x ingat suda masa jump tu haha so, please cover your ears when playing this video :p

Actually, I wasn't scared at all. I didn't even feel any adrenaline rush as I stood at the edge of the platform. The moment I heard bungee, I jumped without hesitation and screamed on top of my lungs \(^^)/ I told my friends, "Aku nak jerit sekuat hati!" but I think my voice was actually amplified by the 3 ladies who were watching me on the platform. I'm very sure I heard them screamed

How does it feel?? AWESOME!!!! This is one of my life goal (chewah!) so now I can cross it hehe but still I'll do the 100 m jump in NZ if I have the chance to. Well, at first, it felt like flying especially as you spread you arms in the air. You can feel the gravity pulling you down and yes I did feel that sensation when you feel like as if your heart is left some where above you. I remember thinking, "Betul ke ade harness ni??" as I fall because it felt like nothing is attached to me. The scariest part was during the first bounce. It was as if the world spun upside down. Yup, I was slightly terrified by the bounce and I forgot to cover my face.

One more thing, if you're at the lower end of the weight range, the bounce will be higher and it is more unstable.. Like mine (Kurus (^^)v)

This one is HH's video

And she proved my theory right: DIAM ITU TAKOT

After the jump we went to the Zipwire ticket booth and was surprised to find that it only operates at certain hour. When we were there, the next ride was 1.40 pm and we have about an hour. So we bought the ticket which includes the ferry ticket from Nami to the wharf. So while waiting, we bought another return ferry ticket to Nami and explored Nami a bit.

Sebab gambar yang macam ini lah aku beli tripod. Lebih reliable :P

That's me and RA getting ready for our ZipRide.

It is quite pricey for a few minutes ride; cost 38 000 won. But the experience was worth it. We got a spectacular view from the ride. You can see the whole area clearly and you can see people doing water sports below you. O ya, when I googled about Nami, most blog only talked about the beauty and the famous trees. None mentioned about the variety water sports in nami. They have water ski, flying fish, parasailing and whatnot. Kalo sy tau, msti sy bawak baju lebih!

This is Nami Island's map. RA said, "Patot name pulau ni Pulau Karipap." yes, its shape does look like a karipap and actually it is big! Kalo jalan kaki memang penat la.. So we just stroll around, wading our way in the crowd. It was very crowded that day and to me Nami is just another park. Beautiful, yes, but it's just another park.. Can't beat all the nature wonders we've seen at other parts of Korea

So, I granted HH wish to cycle around the island by agreeing to cycle around with her while the others ride the tram. It wasn't as easy and as romantic that we thought it would be. There were too many people walking about so we had to be very careful not to hit any of them. And finally, we performed our prayer at the Musolla and head back towards Seoul. That night we were suppose to go for the Hangang River cruise but we cancelled it because we were too exhausted and some of us wanted to go shopping :)

We had Turkish food that night (^^) I was actually ok with the cancellation because my right ankle was hurting really bad that night. So MR and I went straight to our guesthouse after dinner. The other 3 went for shopping. I don't know what time they came back, but I remember they were already gone for more shopping by the time I woke up for Fajr prayer haha SEMANGAT!!!

To be continued....

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