Nov 4, 2013

..... NUMB .....

Sesungguhnya aku telah memalukan diri ku sendiri dengan membiarkan post jiwang itu bertahan di atas untuk sekian lama...

I'd started writing about my Eurotrip but I've been too busy with work to have time to finish any of them... And we are about to embark on another adventure in 5 days. This time back to the South.. I'm very excited but then something happened that I'm quite emotionally affected right now...

"If only I could tell you that it breaks my heart..."

This has nothing to do with 'cintaku yang bertepok sebelah tangan'.. I could always cope with that...

What breaks me is when I sensed something is not right.. Believed my instinct, tried to reach out and failed.. And it breaks me when what I feared turned into reality.. And even worse than what I'd imagined.. I know I tried.. But still it breaks me...

What breaks me is when I heard that croaked voice at the end of the line.. Saying "Aku tak ok.." and I can't do as much as I wanted to because I am nobody.. And now the voice echoes in my head along with the image of a cheerful familiar face.. They just don't match.. Thus it breaks me...

When you are nobody, there is nothing much you can do.. No matter how much you actually care.. You don't feel like you're in a position that could give daily phone calls because you know in the end you wouldn't know what to say because it breaks your heart to hear that solemn voice...

Thus.. I can only offer my sincere prayers for both of them... And help with what I could behind this desk.. Biarlah rahsia....


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