Ok~ Actually I don't know what's the most suitable title for this one.. But I want it to be as catchy as possible.. hehe
What brought me to this post..? Well, as a fresh graduate, it is well known that the hottest issue besides our future career is marriage which is another stepping stone to a whole new world.. As the graduation was approaching, may it be silently or explicitly, each of us were actually either considering, accepting, rejecting and making proposals...
So one night a best buddy came to me and confessed she'd just accepted a marriage proposal.. Well being in this kind of situation before, my response to her was more compose haha I freaked out of course but subsequent to that, we did a heart to heart talk where we share opinions and I gave her some questions that arise in me when considering a man to become a husband.. So here goes!!!!
What do you expect from me as a wife??
A man's expectation is of pivotal importance! (ayat skema physical pharm) Why do I want to know this in advance?? Because then it'll be easier for me to tell him the things that might need some time for him to see in me.. I want him to understand that some things might need some practice to make us to be accustomed to it...
Would you respect my other responsibilities??
Em... this is somewhat a big issue.. I've heard husbands who doesn't allow their wives to go back to their family's home.. To be honest, this is something that I can't understand and most probably can't tolerate with.. To me a husband should understand that a woman also have the responsibility as a child to her parents and should be tolerant in that terms.. A husband should respect the folks who'd brought up the woman he love and in return should also give the best to her parents.. As a symbol of gratitude maybe~
I really love if the husband understand the commitment that the wife have to give on the career too.. In this era, I think that both have to work to maintain financial stability..
How do you see yourself as a husband??
Aha! this is one tricky question for the guy... Well, his answers for this question is not expected to be conclusive. This question is just to give the rough idea of how he sees himself as a husband.. Is he the stern and sturdy type??? Or sweet and sensitive?? Well, why do I need to know this.. This will help me to know what to expect from him hehe
Who do you see yourself in ten years??
Ok~ This question seems simple but I consider this quite important too.. I really hold this saying
"If you fail to plan, you actually plan to fail"
So it's really important for me to know to where he is leading his life to. Because it is almost always positive when someone has a purpose or aim in his doings and dealings.. It's like if you have the purpose, then you'll have a guide that directs you there rather than just wonder around without knowing where you are getting at at the end.. Afterall, even man is given purpose by Allah in this world which is to become His vicegerent..
Will you consider my dreams and wants??
Women also have dreams that they want to achieve. There are some husbands who neglect the dreams of their wives and they doesn't realize that they are actually hindering their wives' fullest potentials.
There's this one story about a man who married a best student of one of the world's eminent university. He forbids her from having a job and wanted her to focus on the household. A friend asked him "Why did you do that, you have the best student as a wife!" He answered "Look at what I got now.. I got 10 very successful children"
Well, I respect that the guy is content with that achievement. Maybe that's his definition of full utilization of his wife's gifts. But in a different point of view, if he'd let his wife, lets say, become a teacher somewhere, she might have produced more than just 10 successful individuals who are very useful in the developmet of the ummah~
So0o0o0, I say I rather find someone who could support me in developing my potentials.. Well if your wife is contributing to the ummah due to your love, understanding and support, surely you'll also be rewarded for that since you are the great man who stands by her.. And I have this belief, that if you really cherish your spouse, then you'll work things out to achieve what matters to both of you.. Afterall, you have the rest of your life to do that heee
Hehe I guess that's enough for now.. These are the top questions that I think important..
Hurm recently someone wrote this on my fb wall
"When will gg be in a relationship again"
and I've been receiveing critics like "jual mahal sangat" "suke dewa2 je" haha not offended at all...
Well.. It's not that I'm "jual mahal sangat" but I think it's my right to choose whom I think right for me and whom I can live with for the rest of my life.. I'm not searching for someone who is too perfect or too ideal of a man.. Just someone who I am comfortable and compatible with.. Preferably someone who have the same interest as me so that we could do a lot of things that we enjoy together.. Someone whose flaws is something that I could cope with and handle.. And most importantly someone that have the magic to wash my sorrows away and make me smile (^^)
Owh yeah.. religion is also important but I don't really expect he would be someone who knows everything.. It'll be just fine if he's the type who knows the basics and never stop learning to improve heeee~ X memilih sangat pon kan???? hehe
Apr 21, 2010
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13 comments:
omg.we shud pening2 bout this topic ody ker?
aiyak.am not ready yet la.
but i agree with u bla ckp psl
"its not rily about jual mahal, bt actually we are mahal!"
tanya parents kita.
haha.
hahahaha tp da sentence not included kn d cni.. well, ni utk our frens yg mo kawen2 suda.. aku pon lmbt lg.. red lites from both parents tau hahaha
btw.. aku cm byk lg questions actually hahaha terok btol :P
wow!
When a Wali said to his son-in-law " Aku nikahkan engkau wahai Fulan b Fulan dgn anakku Fulanah bt Fulan dgn mas kahwin RM... (or other languages mean like that even in English!)", That mean wali or father agreed to give his responsibility as a father to someone that he can rely for.From this moment,all his daughter responsibilities,permissions etc. actually are referred to her husband.She can go to serve her own parent but by hook or by cook,she must get her husband's permission and 'redha' first.All in all,make our beloved Messenger Muhammad as our top Idol in our lives!Wallahu a'lam.
Thanx anonymous.. You're right about the permission from the husnand thingy =)
Tapi tu la.. some husbands just don't give the permission to serve the wife's parents u know..and that's something that the family-type girls would want to know in advance b4 marriage.. I've heard of such husbands~ heeee
So,that's why a girl or wife-to-be must choose a 'soleh' husband that he can be a tolerant and considerable husband.I just want to tell u and other readers about the 'hukm'.ok.hope u can understand and try to learn further about this matter...
I mean,u must avoid to think about some religious matters totally base on ur mind only.at least,u must learn and ask some religious scholars or read any religious article related to this topic.But,in some cases,I agree with ur article...
aaaaa?????? confuse... I don't think I've refuted any hukm here.. Just mentioning what is actually happening in our community where some husbands seem not to be understanding...
Thanx for the advice though~
whos this mysteriously anonymous zie?
kinda weird.
Very good questions to pose to each other. Marriage is a long term relationship that should be entered with eyes wide open. The foundation must be solid otherwise cracks and eventual destruction will ensue.
I don't know sari.. but obviously he sort of misunderstood whaht I wrote.. But I guess he's sum1 from uia becoz he speaks like one~
I found anonymous weird too~ hehe
Hye mark,
Thanx for reading again.. btw i love your new post about quitting when it's necessary to quit
Assalamualaikum.
Pelik ke?sorry kl berlaku salah faham dari pihak saya.Saya cuma ingin bgtau bkaitan tanggungjawab seorang isteri terhadap suaminya.Selama mana suami tidak memerintahkan isterinya melakukan maksiat,selagi itulah dia perlu patuh kepada suami dalam keadaan macam mana pun.
Pada masa sama,suami yg soleh akan memahami keadaan spt ini.Keluarga si isteri tidak akan diabaikan bahkan disamaratakan dgn keluarganya sdiri...
"Syurga suami di bawah telapak kaki ibunya,Syurga isteri di bawah telapak kaki suaminya."
haha. welcome to the adulthood era... which is sangat scary by the way.
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