Jan 10, 2022

2021 Italy: Ciao!

Bismillah...

I literally just accidentally deleted a post that I was working on since this afternoon when I added pictures into it with the blogger app on my phone... And this is a rewritten version. I felt like crying because it was a lengthy one~

I'm currently self isolating and have been struggling to make my days stuck indoor productive. So, that was why I started writing about my trip to Italy while it is still fresh. And I really do need to write more often to maintain my writing skills.

I always have my eyes on Italy. Considering it being a huge country with so many things that I wanted to see, I was in constant dilemma on how much time should I spend there, where should I start, what can I forgo etc. I always end up going to another European country instead because of my indecisiveness. But now it is made possible because I'm a student in the UK which essentially means Italy is closer to my current home and I have the privilege of a long term break!

However, travelling during a pandemic is extremely challenging. With the new variant ravaging the world again and all eyes are on the UK due to the surge in its Covid 19 cases, there were a lot of uncertainties before our trip. My friends had to cancel their trip to France because non-essential travels from the UK were banned. And there were even positive cases in the hall where I'm staying. 

The fare for the return ticket cost me £145. I think, I could have gotten a cheaper price if I bought it earlier. But the fare was also slightly higher than usual because it was the Christmas holiday. The additional budget during this pandemic actually goes to the Covid 19 test that I have to take before and after the trip. Luckily, Italy accepts antigen test but what makes it difficult was it must be done within 24 hours before entering Italy. Since it was Christmas, most of the test centres have shorter operating hours so we decided to do the test on our day of departure. The antigen test cost £35 and the result was emailed to us after 2 hours.

For our return, we had to take an antigen test within 48 hours before entering the UK. It was quite difficult to find a pharmacy that offers the test at first. Luckily, we found one which was about 50m away from our lodging in Rome and it cost €22 . And upon arriving in UK, we need to repeat a PCR test and I opted to do with ExpressTest. Although it cost me £65, I already have the confidence on this company since I previously did my PCR here when I first arrived in London. 



Now, lets move on to the trip. It went like this

London - Milan - Aosta Valley - Venice - La Spezia - Rome - Naples - Rome - London

Italy is just like most European countries in which all the regions are well connected by railway. I used the Trenitalia website to plan the journey and book the tickets. I think the price was quite reasonable where the whole trip cost me about £197 and this includes the high speed train.



Milan, to me, is a place that I can do without in my next trip to Italy. It has numerous shopping areas which is not my cup of tea. But there are beautiful places just a few hours away from Milan such as Lake Como and the mountainous area near the Swiss border. I might only come back to Milan to enter Italy if the ticket is cheapest when arriving there hahaha 




The train journey to Aosta Valley from Milan was just over 2 hours and it was not without drama. It was the first day when the Italian government made it mandatory to wear KN95 mask in public spaces and transportation. So, everyone who was not complying to this were denied entry into the platform. We only realized this 15 minutes before the departure so we had to run down to the pharmacy to get the mask. And apparently the pharmacy staffs were unaware on the urgency of the people queueing outside. The service was so slow. I only got hold of the masks 8 minutes before our departure and that was thanks to the Moroccan lady in front of me who let me cut the queue.

We had one exchange in Chivasso. The train from Chivasso to Aosta was surprisingly small, it only had 3 coaches. This part of the journey was where I met a lovely Indonesian lady who was on her way to a skiing trip with her Italian husband and two kids. She started the conversation after hearing me sending a voice note to a Whatsapp group (And I'm sure my tone was rather gossipy although I was actually telling them about the mask drama). Even in such a short meeting, I find her being an inspiring figure. She shared how it is like to live far away from home, adapting to an entirely different culture and how it opened her eyes to different opportunities and understanding about the world. 


Our main destination was the Skyline Monte Bianco in Courmayeur. However, we were not that fortuitous while we were in the area because it rained for two days and only stopped the morning when we were about to leave Aosta Valley. We decided to call off our ascend to Punta Helbronner because the visibility was really bad so it was not worth spending €55 that day. I still have the tickets because they are valid until November 2022

Since there were not much to be done in that weather, we went to feed ourselves with good food instead. And we were highly satisfied with this Asian restaurant called Origami and went there twice! The sushi was so good and the price was relatively more reasonable than the sushi in London



We then left for Venice. On the train, I spent my time watching some documentaries on the Roman empire and Venice on YouTube. I remember very well about Venice being one of the major seaport in the world in the past but I could not recall Venice being one of the most influential naval powerhouse and I'm sure I have never heard of the republic's role in the Crusades. So, when I was there I was more intrigued to discover this side of Venice.



Venice could be explored by foot but the water bus is also a very convenient option. We bought the 1 day pass for €20 and this allows you to travel on the water bus for 24 hours, starting from the time you first tap the card at the gate.



I read a lot about Venice being overrated and you can find so many vlogs on YouTube saying you could just skip Venice. I beg to differ. To me, Venice is a classic beauty that you won't get anywhere. Everywhere you turn was like paintings brought to life. Traces of the Venetian republic are well maintained and the buildings are well preserved. My ideal kind of city, the kind which is unspoiled by modernity. 

I was pretty excited to try the gondola. However, it's too pricey and the frigid weather was not the best time to enjoy a gondola ride. The temperature dropped to as low as 2C and on our second day there, it was already too cold by noon and Venice was covered in thick fog. 



We tried two restaurants in Venice, Osteria Da Poggi and Orient Experience, the former being my favourite. The food was really good but the plus point goes to the waiter who was very affable in nature and cared enough to not recommend anything with alcohol inside. 



From Venice we head west towards La Spezia. The only reason we were there was because the accommodation in Cinque Terre is expensive and it is actually easy to get to Cinque Terre by train from La Spezia. We were warmly greeted by our airbnb host, Diego. To my surprise, his house was very antique. Just like the ones you see in old English movies. But it was complete with everything that a traveler needs. There was even a space where Diego pasted all the important information on trips to Cinque Terre on the wall. 

I couldn't find much information about halal food in La Spezia via google so I thought it might be challenging for us to find food in this area. But in reality, the area that we were staying has a Muslim community. We discovered this restaurant, Chicken N Chicken, that not only sells fast food but also Indian food. Most importantly, that night we found white rice!

The funny thing was when I ordered chicken wings and white rice, the Bangladeshi cashier asked me, "How are you going to eat the white rice?" And I excitedly went, "Oh! With the chicken wings!" 


In Cinque Terre, we bought the 1 Day Cinque Terre card for €14.80. One day is not enough to explore all 5 villages. We only get to stop at 4 villages; Riomaggiore, Manarola, Corniglia and Vernazza. We decided to skip Monterosso because shops closed earlier during low season so there was not much left to do after the sun sets.  

It would've been prettier if it was sunny. But we were grateful enough that it was not raining. Cinque Terre is very pretty and tranquil which made it worth to visit. I enjoyed standing on the cliffs, watching the horizon, listening to the sounds of waves and feeling the sea breeze. Anyway, it has been 3 months since I last saw the sea!


I underestimated Rome, took the words of people who don't appreciate history and unwisely decided to spend only a day to explore the open-air museum historical city! We were staying at a dodgy looking neighbourhood but the good side of it was, it was very close to Roma Termini. On the day of our arrival, we decided to spend the evening roaming around central Rome and I instantaneously realized my mistake as the historical sites loomed from afar as I exited the metro station!



At least I made it into the Colosseum where the most grueling and bloody game in human history was once held. Looking at the immense size of all the ruins of Roman empire, it is really hard to believe that such formidable power could collapse many centuries before the fall of its counterpart in the east, the Byzantine. 


One new thing that I learned from this visit was, the blood of slain gladiators were believed to have healing powers. One of the use was as an antiepileptic!


When I learned that it was feasible for a daytrip to Naples from Rome, I just can't resist visiting Pompeii. Yet, I felt my visit was incomplete without visiting the museum and hiking up Mount Vesuvius. It took about 1.5 hours to Naples by high speed train from Rome. And then we had to change to a local train to go to Pompeii Scavi station. We almost got on the wrong train but the handsome Trenitalia staff gave us the direction after I explained that we are heading to Pompeii Scavi not Pompeii.


Again, Pompeii is a very big archeological site and it is easy to get lost inside. The surrounding view was magnificent! Pompeii is speculated to be in peace and prosperous when the calamity happened. I imagined, Pompeii must have been a very nice place to live in.  

Oh ya.. The statues are not real people. Back in the 17th century, the archeologists discovered that the bones of humans buried under the ashes didn't decompose and left voids that retained the original posture. So, they poured plaster into the voids to make the statues. 


And of course, trying pizza at its birthplace is a must!



I have too many reasons to go back to Italy especially with the two tickets worth €55 each in my possession. If you love history, Italy is  definitely your type of place. How I felt after I left Rome was the similar feeling that I had when I left Istanbul. If you don't know much about the ruins, they are just meaningless fragments of the past. But if you know the stories behind them, to finally stand in front of them will blow you away!

Dec 24, 2021

London: After almost 3 months here....

Bismillah...

Gosh! I haven't updated anything for the past 4 months!!! Truth is, 3 days after the last post, I received an email saying that my study leave was not approved and from then on I was fully occupied until the day of my departure to the UK. It was a period full of frustrations. To be honest, I have never thought of leaving the system. Serving and giving my all for the public is a passion. However, I'm starting to think that the system is not for someone who wants growth. It's a system that 'celebrates' mediocrity. As long as you keep to your routine, do as you are told and not challenge it, you are very secured. Well, I guess some people would say it's normal to go through the obstacles that I experienced. But it left me thinking about exiting the system every day. Especially when I've discovered that in this part of the world, career advancement is greatly supported. But the delay actually was a blessing in disguise. I managed to go back to see my Mom. If I were to go as planned which was on 19 September, I would've left without seeing my family in Labuan.


Okay.. Now lets move on to my life in London.. This city is undoubtedly very expensive! And I am very glad that I decided to bring a lot of my necessities from Malaysia and paid extra for the luggage. It is this particular move that I currently able to live more comfortably with my study allowance. I have a whole year stock of skincare. I brought all the basic kitchen utensils too. Although you have Poundland and other £1 Asian shops, they can't beat the price you get back home. They can't beat Shopee!!!!  So if people question or mock you for bringing so many things, don't be affected by what people say and just stick to your plan! Hahahaha 


HOME


This is my studio in the university's residence. It cost me £229 per week but the payment is made per term. The shared flat room type is much cheaper by about £20 per week but at this age I cherish comfort and privacy too much that I'm willing to pay more hahaha. You could get a better price if you're living in Zone 3 or 4 but then again you will have to calculate how much is the cost for transport. Sometimes it might not save you much. I chose this one because all bills are included, the tube station is just 50 m away from the entrance and I don't have to change line to go to class. We have many choices of convenient stores just downstairs and the nearest shopping area is about 15 minutes by foot. The wifi connection is superb and I can log in directly into all database since we are using the eduroam wifi. 


TRANSPORT


During my first week here, I spent a lot on transportation! One journey by tube cost me £2.50. I purposely took some time to decide which type of discount that I want to register to because I want to see the pattern of my commute first. So in the end I decided to take the Railcard and linked it to my Oyster card (the card you use for public transport in London) which reduced the fare to £1.65 per journey during off peak and weekends. The 18+ oyster card seems appealing at first, but there are times when I just want to stay at home, or just walk so it doesn't really suit me. As you can see there, this card is for those aged 16-25 years old . Because I was not eligible for the 26-30, so I have to apply for the student age group as mature student but it's not written there, which is good! hahaha


GROCERIES

Luckily, there are a lot of supermarket options to shop for cheap groceries here in London; 

Iceland, Tesco, Lidl, Sainsbury

I cook most of the time since the kitchenette is just next to my bed, so there's no excuse not to do so hahaha But it did took me many weeks to adjust how much to stock to avoid wastage. At first I was buying all fresh things from the market. But since hospital attachment started, I started having microwavable food on certain days to save time. Dining out is a once a week compulsory activity for my sanity hahaha


There are also some phone apps that can help you save money. I'm only using Getir because I don't want to have too many apps on my phone. I have been using the £10 discount for any £11 purchase and the £15 discount for £16 purchase. You just have to check whether the promo is available on that day to use them. I have no idea if there is any limit to how many times you will get the promo. So far I've used it for 5 times and I made use of it to buy pricey items and cleaning products. 
The one above cost me £3.15.



HOSPITAL ATTACHMENT


The placement started on our 5th week which was a relief to me because I'm not used to sitting in class all day. While most of my classmates struggle with the new schedule and environment, I was really happy to get up early, go to hospital and see patients which what I've been doing for the past 11 years.

When we were first assigned to our placement sites, the distance got me making mental calculations of how much the fare will cost me. But now, I don't mind about the distance anymore because it is the best place for my learning experience. It's a huge teaching hospital and the staffs are so used to having students that where ever I go on a particular day, the staffs are very warm, attentive and was happy to teach everything they can. Plus our supervisor is such a charming gentleman. I'm so lucky to have him as my dissertation supervisor too! Bersemangat terus hahaha

One of my lecturer approached me asking whether I'm okay with the course or is it too basic for me and she even asked if I needed more stretch. I spontaneously reacted, 
"Oh please no! I'm okay! Everything is fine!" Hahaha
Since the placement is very much self-directed, it is really up to you to plan your own learning. We were given the emails of people in different units in a discipline hence it is up to us to arrange when is our shadowing at that unit. And you can even ask if you need anything extra which what I did.  That was why I have no intention to have more stretch from the university hahaha

I'm already in clinical for the past 6 years so it was just me familiarizing myself with the other subspecialty rather than starting from basic like most of my course mates. But I wouldn't say I'm having it easy at all because I don't intend to learn just the superficial stuffs and go back with another degree. Plus they have too many drugs here! And yes this is one of my struggles, getting to know all these new drug classes.

I think that's all for now. I'll try to write more in term 2!

Aug 22, 2021

Academic Journey 6: Settling mountains of documents

Bismillah...


Lets continue with my study journey story. Which stage am I in now? Currently, I'm still waiting for my study leave approval and my visa appointment is scheduled in 2 weeks. What happened after the TB test? CHAOS! Hahaha


First, there was a glitch in my application portal. Although I have received my unconditional letter, my application status was not updated in the system that the autogenerated email to confirm my visa details was not sent to me. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I needed the CAS to proceed with MARA so I wrote to the university (again). The problem was finally sorted after 5 exchange of emails, I think. At first the reply told me that I should complete the form inside the portal which actually was non existent in my account yet. I had to describe my problem again; probably how I described it the first time was not clear enough. My first communication dated 2nd July and I received my CAS on 7th August! I understand very well that UCL was getting a high volume of enquiries so yeah if you were to go through this same journey in the future, I'm prompting you how much PATIENCE you will need hahaha


Then, there was a problem with the visa appointment booking. I was actually very hopeful that they will reopen the office in Sabah but I think that is not going to happen soon hahaha I couldn't start with the visa application without CAS and earlier this month, the earliest slot was in December. It sparked outrage and a second petition was started. The first one was urging the application center in KL to reopen and it did thereafter. The second one was to urge to increase the number of appointment slots. Alhamdulillah, Wisma Putra responded to this and on 17th August more slots were opened. I manage to secure mine the next morning because the website eventually crashed due to heavy traffic. I was not resilient enough to stay up for it hahaha Beauty sleep is imperative!


So, what is this mountains of documents about? They are the documents that I have to settle for MARA hahaha I think the list is almost the same as the previous batches,


2 Set Surat Tawaran, Akuan Penerimaan Pelajar
Borang kebenaran menghubungi LHDN/KWSP/BANK/PENJAMIN
Laporan & Surat Akuan Penjamin
5 Set Surat Perjanjian Pelajaran MARA yang telah dimatikan setem
Borang Payment Instruction 
Borang Pemeriksaan Kesihatan
Letter of Consent
Salinan E-vetting
CAS
Borang Kemasukan Fail Induk Pelajar
Borang Maklumat Peribadi


Everything has to be handwritten in capital letters. As someone who struggles with perfectionism, it took me the longest time (2 days) to complete the fields because I keep on throwing those that I thought was not neat enough hahaha I found it difficult at first since we write lesser and lesser these days. But after a few hours, it became more natural and it started to feel like doing calligraphy hahaha


The Surat Akuan Penjamin must be done in the presence of  a commissioner of oath. Alhamdulillah, as KK at that time was already in Phase 2, this was easily arranged. At first I went to search for the service in KK and incidentally found out that there was one near my house! I called prior to my visit to check for the opening hours. It cost me RM 20 for two sets.


I did my medical check up at the staff clinic but I had to do urine PCR for gonorrhea at Gribbles (088-230149) which cost me RM 147.69.  It was easy for me as a clinical staff since I could get the pathology form and container at the hospital. The urine sample should be the first void, meaning the first urine in the morning. I took a day off to send the sample and spent the rest of the day settling other affairs at the bank. O ya, all the reports should be printed and be sent to MARA.


Since there are too many papers to deal with, to get them organized, I placed each of the documents inside its own clear folder and compiled them together inside a simple clear folder file organizer. So I just have to take out the specific file that I wanted to settle at a particular day without having to disturb and mess up the order of the other documents. Some people used the expanding file folder type. At first I thought of using that too but then I will have to buy a new one hahaha So I decided to use what I already have which proved to be super convenient as well.


I have not submitted these documents yet since I'm still waiting for my leave approval which is one of the attachment required in Borang Maklumat Peribadi.


Although I'm facing many delays but so far actually all the processes have been smooth, Alhamdulillah. I will definitely make a special appreciation post for the people who have assisted me with all this. Without them it would have been more difficult.  For me, doing all this during pandemic has its pro and cons. For instance, I decided to utilize the moratorium so I wouldn't burden my parents with my commitments. And I've been thinking, if I went at a younger age, it would have been a disaster. The current me is better at juggling my responsibilities, better with time management and better with handling pressure. Too relaxed that I questioned myself, "Should I be more worried..?" Naaaahhh.. This is okay. It actually helps me to think clearly.




Where I spend most of my time these days Hahaha 

Aug 15, 2021

Thorong La Pass; Annapurna Circuit Trek 2018

Bismillah...

I happened to be quite free this weekend as I took a day off after the awal Muharram public holiday. I have no pending chores and sadly, the Olympic Games has ended. I was busy catching up with all the finals last weekend. So, I have been spending this weekend to settle my UK Visa, did some cleaning up on my YouTube channel, put up a new banner there and edited some videos. I'm not planning to monetize the channel. I just want to make it a proper place to store and share my travel memories. Here is a video I made on our trip to Thorong La. I just realized I never write about it. Partly because I went straight for a week course right after that, another trip followed and then life went on hahaha


We went with the same company that organized the trip to Gokyo in 2014 but they have changed the company's name to Himalayan Hub. The arrangement was easy as I already know how they deliver their service. I did make price comparison with some other companies and still this company gave us the most reasonable cost which was USD 295 per person. However, we did not opt for full board service thus we allocated a separate budget for food. Why was it not full board? In my previous experience, the food was wasted because we were too exhausted to eat after a hike. But..... it was the opposite with these guys whose appetite increased as we go to higher altitudes hahaha 

Our itinerary goes like this



Day 1: Arrival in Kathmandu


We arrived during Holi Festival which explains why those two had their faces all smeared in red.


Day 2: Drive from Kathmandu to Chame (2600 m)



I
t was not a comfortable drive, to be honest. The five of us were squeezed inside a small jeep. We had to switch seats towards the end as LH was having a bad motion sickness. It was a scenic journey as we approached the mountainous area, though.


Day 3: Trek from Chame to Pisang (3250 m)


Manang can actually be reached by car. Some hikers start there but of course going to higher altitude faster means a higher risk for AMS. Since we were walking on the gravel road, I remember it was quite hot as there were no trees shading the path. This was when I immediately notice that this circuit was less populated than Everest region. Although there were villages, but they were further apart and relatively small.


Day 4: Trek from Pisang to Manang (3519 m)


What was unique about the circuit to me was the contrast of its landscapes. At the point where I was standing to take this picture, in front of me was this barren land with all those dwellings on the clifftops and actually behind me were lines of snowcapped mountains. To think of it now, I should have put more effort to capture that hahaha


Day 5: Acclimatization day

Leisure hike to this vantage point and Gangapurna glacier lake




Day 6: Trek from Manang to Yak Kharka (4000 m)


The snow covered mountains that I just mentioned above. At this point, we were standing in the dry barren area. This was the day when we started to cover more elevations; 500 m elevation per day. That was why we needed a day for acclimatization. However, personally, I think the climb was still okay.


Day 7: Trek from Yak Kharka to High Camp (4925 m)


The above is Thorong Phedi. Some hikers, those who stretched their climb over several more days than us, will stay here before going to the High Camp. As for us, we had lunch here and then went straight to High Camp after that. I say, the most strenuous climb was from Thorong Phedi to High Camp.



This is High Camp and this place is extremely cold at night. We were huddled together just a few centimeters away from the fire and I was still shivering! That morning, when we went to the toilet before we start our hike to the pass, we had to break the ice layer inside the pale to get water beneath it


Day 8: Trek down to Mukhtinath (3800 m) via Thorong La Pass (5416 m)


This was the condition of my shoe as I trek to the top! I was scooping snow and rocks all the way. I tried to catch up with the porter boys because I had my extra shoes inside my bag but of course they were too fast for me despite those loads they were carrying. And the rest.. is history~









Jul 10, 2021

Academic Journey 5: TB test for UK Student Visa

Bismillah...

The image above is the ceiling decor right in front of me right now. Half an hour left until my x-ray film is released so I thought it's more productive to write something on my blog while waiting. 

As of today, I have recieved a positive result from MARA, my university offer has been converted to unconditional and I have submitted  my application for study leave yesterday, Alhamdulillah. I have to admit that all the delays were nerve wrecking but I have done my best to resolve all issues and thank God everything just fall into places at the right time for me. One thing that I learned from this journey so far is DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK!

I never have any problem with this, though. But I know writing a simple email of enquiry can be a difficult task for some people. Last Monday, exactly 3 months before the date of my admission, I literally had nothing settled! However, I know I had done all the necessary so I prayed hard and waited patiently. What did I do.. 

I emailed the person in charged of the convertible scholarship and explained my situation. Alhamdulillah, she responded the next day and my financial affidavit was issued 2 days later. 

Converting my offer was the most challenging part so far. At first, I have problem uploading my IELTS and registration certificate into the portal because the tab for uploading disappeared from the portal. It took several weeks to be resolved. Then, 4 weeks after uploading the documents, I still didn't get any news from the university so I started writing to the admission team. Another 2 weeks passed, still no news hence I then wrote to my course's program director and the School of Pharmacy postgraduate team. The department cannot do much since the offer conversion is handled by the admission team but they did assist me to 'chase' for it. Alhamdulillah, the offer was converted to unconditional on 26th June. However, I had to write to the admission again because the offer letter was not yet generated. And on 2nd July, to my relief, the offer letter can already be downloaded from the portal. Hahaha do your own maths on how many times I wrote just for this one issue! 

And as for my study leave, I still don't have my MARA offer letter so I contacted the Unit Latihan Dalam Perkhidmatan and sought for their advice. Alhamdulillah, they understood my situation. I was then instructed to submit the application with the documents that I have first and to forward my funding offer letter once it's in my possession. I think that's very reasonable considering the current pandemic situation here.

(This part of the post was resumed on another day lol)
After much rambling.. So, here's how to do TB test for UK visa hahaha
Firstly, you can only do it at an approved clinic. Here's the link to a full guide on TB test for UK Visa in Malaysia.

In Sabah, it can only be done in KPJ Sabah Specialist Hospital. You have to call to make an appointment first. When I called, I was given two dates to choose, 6th or 14th July. It seems like they only allocate certain days in a week for the TB test. I think it's wise to call them earlier so you can plan your time. I'm not sure if it can be done in weekends, though. I eventually picked 6th July, 10.15 am.

The things to bring along were:
1. Passport
2. IC
3. 2 copies of passport (Details page)
4. 2 visa photos (White background, no reflection)
5. The address in UK (Some clinics request for offer letter)


I was not familiar with the hospital so I decided to arrive earlier. Using the lift in Block A lobby, the Executive Health Screening Centre is located on the 5th floor. I was entertained immediately. After making RM 150 payment, I went to the Diagnostic and Imaging Department at ground floor of Block B. After the x-ray, I waited for an hour for the film. Then, I went back to the  health screening centre to process all the documents. The whole process took about 3 hours. It was hassle free but I'm not sure whether that happens everyday or if I was just lucky hahaha I took a whole day off and having nothing to rush made it a pleasant experience haha Well, having nothing else to do during this endless lockdown makes me appreciate new things more; even the simplest ones. 

So... What's next after TB test? I still can't proceed with UK Student Visa application until I receive the Confirmation of Acceptance for Study from UCL. And it is only safe to apply for visa after my study leave is approved because that involves a lot of money!!!!!!!

Please continue praying for me....