Solo Travel.. Finally..

Currently I'm still in Prague.. Waiting for the right time to go for shower.. Checking out of the hostel in 2 hours..

Anyway.. How come I'm traveling alone right now... Loooooong story....... Lets just make it short

Well, it was decided that we would have our first trip at 1/4 of the year because we know all tension would've piled up by then.. Opted Boracay as our destination since it's cheap and we are going to do a much much more expensive trip in the middle of the year. But then came the SS (who almost ruined my Mabul holiday) into the picture.. And he successfully wrecked our Boracay vacation because the government may not be in the SS side but it seems most of the public are saying SS intrusion was some act of valor (-_-") Tulung lah~

So, our tickets was on the evening of the 20th and since it was all ruined, we still haven't decide where to go by 17th... We were twisting and turning on our bed in a hotel in Bangi. Browsing the internet for tickets and flipping heaps of brochures that we got from MATTA fair.. And when I finally got to KK that night (17th), I finally decided I should go to Prague..It was like a calling.. "Haziah, PRAGUE!" I don't mind being delusional when it comes to traveling hikhik

So voilla! I bought the tickets yaw! Not so cheap though. But it could've been more expensive...

What I missed....

Well... This solo travel was of course by Allah's will and it never occur to me that I would do something like this this year.. As early as March.. We can never foretell what's His next plan for us and that was how I can't foretell the passing of my beloved aunt while I was on my way to Prague. She was sick alright. It was so acute that her condition deteriorate within 2 weeks. A newly diagnosed cancer but it was too late. It spread to the spleen, uterine and liver and the origin was not known.. The liver damage complicates her condition.. Enlarged liver and her skin turned yellow... 

When I first came to visit, she was still conscious but in pain. That lasted for a few days. The last time I talked to her was when Mom came over all the way from Labuan to visit.. Then I went off to KL for a friend's wedding and on Tuesday, when all the family members were called for counseling, I was there, and she was delirious. I've never seen her like that.. I've one uncle who had stroke last year and I just can't watch him like that.. It feels different when watching a mere stranger lying on the bed, immobilized or delirious as to watching someone you've known quite well when he or she was in good health.. It feels different... and in both occasions, I wept. I just can't handle it.. Too much emotions came rushing in.. Too much memories..

SPM RESULT!!!!!!!!!!

This is important because my dear cousin was waiting for her result to come out.. This is like something that the family have longed for for the past few months since our trip to Indonesia. Our family is too small so we get really excited even when there's small events (like I'm excited about my niece first 200 m sprint in MSSWPL this April and I'm gonna be there to watch her run! \(^^)/) So.. My cousin scored well, 7A and 2 B. Not straight A's but still that's excellent enough. Mom said my cousin is a little bit upset with her result because she wanted to get straight A (like most people do)

But Nuyui (because she sometimes stalk  my blog), I can't deny scoring straight A's in SPM was one of the most memorable thing in my life because I got what I wanted but then as you grow, you'll find that finishing school with exceptional grades is just a beginning. The path that I walked after that gets harder and harder and you can trip at any point as you pace. Stay focus on things that really matters, pray for Allah's guidance and assistance.. inshaAllah everything will work out just fine no matter how hard it is (^^)/ Yosh! Like what my friends always remind me of.. Success and Happiness matters but they mean nothing without Allah's blessing..

It's more than AWESOMENESS

I can't deny that I did feel lonely at times as I travel alone.. But I learnt a lot.. I learnt about myself too.. Traveling is more than spending money and taking cool pics.. More than laying your eyes on awesome ancient buildings and relics and extremely good looking Caucasian. It's education..

I love going to places with historical values.. Watch nature's diversity... And observe how other countries function as a nation.. Memang aku nerdy sikit bila travel but that what's traveling is all about to me.. To observe and think~ And realize that one is just a small part of this complex world who can actually make a difference.. chewah! but really I do believe so..

Hurm sooo aku aim 20 countries before I get married.. So I think I've just completed 50% of the target.. Hoo-Ah! \(^^)/

Muka excited lepas nampak deer and rabbits on a train from Salzburg to Prague (^^)

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Mabul Island 2013: Revisited

We've been planning for this trip since December.. Saw cheap tickets for March and text Z about the plan. When she said okay, I instantly purchased tickets for three; that was for me, Ricci and Fega.

Oho! But this trip was not without drama and the drama started a few hours before our flight! Our flight to Semporna was on the day when the armed Sulu men in Lahad Datu attacked the police in which 2 men on our side were killed. My mom called me 3 hours before my flight and plead for me not to go.. Her exact words were "Dorang merusuh suda!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Histerical okay~

I was stopping at a red light, was on my way to my working place to settle some things before I leave for my short getaway and it was already after 5 pm. Seriously, bingung.. I posted an emotional post on my blog a few days before so obviously I was emotionally unstable..

I have 2 counselings waiting..

And I have a flight to catch in 3 hours

Bingung.. Bingung.. Bingung.. I must go!

Yah! Mata sembam lepas nangis sebab rasa diri derhaka.. Tapi pigi jugak tu :p

Well, my parents failed to talked me out of it so yah.. Pigi jugak.. I cried because I think I was a bit harsh to my mom in our conversation.. And for that I hate you SS.. But my dad sort of cooled things off when he text me at 6.30pm when I was still at the hospital..

"Cepat la balik. Tertinggal flight nanti.."

Dan kemudian bermulalah....

We spent the night at Marina Hotel. Paid RM 38 per pax for this 3 single bed room. Simple but the room was well equipped with the basics and very comfortable (^^) 

Zeq came around 7.30 am and we head straight to Uncle Chang's office. Settled the essentials and off we went to the  Mabul Island \(^^)/ 

I didn't take many pics for this trip, though. Maybe because I've been there before and this time I'm more focused on diving. We went diving in Kapalai; never been there. I saw a huge turtle resting inside a coral there!! I don't know how to exactly describe it though. Still not familiar with all the diving terms but the coral formed this space where the turtle lodged itself to rest. So, during my 3 dives I saw big nudi branch.. 3 crocodile fish.. A huge grouper that scared the hell out of me.. A giant moray eel that made my heart skipped a beat because I was afraid it would come out from that hole to eat me haha and fish that looked like some stick.. I don't remember what it's called.. And many other creatures... It's an entirely different world down there. Subhanallah....

Sunbathing.. Though they're not literally lying under the sun.. Obviously shaded haha

Saw these egg shells while strolling in the village. 

Melepak lepak di depan bilik.The most epic part of this trip was, it was on the same day when the 6 policemen were brutally killed by the intruders in Semporna. So that night my phone rang endlessly that I'd to switch it off. Z and I continued watching 'Love Actually' that night. But we were being cautious, of course.. Like we didn't roam for no reason.. It's just that we didn't want to ruin the trip with things that we are not sure of. There were too many rumours that time

Right before our first dive.. Putih masih!

Dan ini kaki budak2 degil yang lupa mo di rotate hehe

Paling awesome.. Nampak kereta kebal dekat airport Tawau!!!!!! \(^^)/

P.S. Finished writing in Prague hehe feel~

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Ikhlas yang hilang~

Reading this post will only waste your time~

Bismillah...

Ikhlas is such a delicate word.. 2 syllables.. Simple.. But hard to put into action...

"Saye ikhlas.." a person that I used to know once said to me.. A few years after this particular person professed so, it became meaningless and things turned into shattered hopes and memories deliberately erased. 

It brought to an evening of solitary; it was raining outside and I was sitting crossed leg on my bed, a closed book clasped in one hand and my eyes were fixed on the rain drops on the leaves outside the window. The view of that and the smell of the rain was so refreshing.. I let my mind loose for a while to think about life.. 

Ikhlas is doing the right thing over and over and over again without expecting anything in return.. 

That's like a mother's unconditional love to her child.. She endured excrutiating pain during childbirth. Brought up the child with the best upbringing that she can afford to give.. And till her last breath, she will always be there for her child.. More often than not, that lady sitting on the chair next to the immobilized and delirious patient,  who patiently attend to each and every of the patient's need are mothers... MashaAllah.. That's the power of Ikhlas..

Ikhlas need not be uttered.. need not be verbally professed.. It is from actions.. It is felt by those at the receiving end.. And even by the witnessing eyes..

It was one of those long international flight. I was seated in a different row but my friends were still close enough for a chat. A family of three was seated in front of my friends; a lovely Caucasian couple with their adorable toddler. The couples ordered the in-flight meal and handed a credit card to pay. Unfortunately, only cash was accepted for payment. It didn't took long for my friends to offer their cash to the family. I was watching from my seat. It was like they were communicating telepathically with each other. All of them dug their hands into their bags and start to search for the remaining foreign currency they have left without saying much to each other. There were no trace of hesitancy on their faces when they paid for the meal for three. At the end of it I exclaimed, "MashaAllah sisters!" and we just giggled. The matter was never talked again after that. But I was very touched by my friends' action. I'm not sure whether I will do the same if I was in their position. That was Ikhlas.. And Ikhlas don't hesitate~

To be honest.. I can't tell whether I'm ikhlas or not in my deeds.. I don't know how it feels like to be ikhlas.. Do you feel self-gratification when you're ikhlas? Do you feel contented with life when you're ikhlas? Perhaps.. I once read that when you think you're ikhlas, that's when you're most probably not. So I guess, ikhlas is not something an individual can measure.. It is something that is decided by Allah the Almighty..

But one thing that I'm very sure now is.. Something that I love doing and passionate about start to feel like a burden to me.. It's not that I lost my passion.. It's just that things are very much ruined by a particular person and this have made me lost interest.. It made me want to run away.. Things are made complicated than how it used to be and I start to question why do I let myself stuck in this absurdity when I can find better opportunities elsewhere... 

But at times, I think maybe it's me who is too weak to accept the reality of life.. Where ever I go, if I choose to leave what is at hand, still a new challenge is waiting. So it's either I persist or get ready to face challenges that I couldn't foretell for now....

I really don't know whether all this while I've been ikhlas or not.. But this load that I feel in my heart right now is like a sign that I'm drifting away further and further from being ikhlas.. I'm writing this as a mean to ease that burden and to those of you who have read this far, please pray for me that i'll be strong  and may my intention be straightened and fortified.. Ameen..For the sake of Allah and the Ummah is also something that I think is easier said than done... huhuhu

Count your blessings, Haziah... 

Focus on the essentials and don't let those things you detest impede you from developing your potentials...

I'm starting to realize there are more and more things about life that I haven't understand as I grow older... May all of us always be in His guidance as we face this phase of confusion~ Ameen

One day, all of this will make sense.. InshaAllah~

All of it from abcdefghijKlmnopqrstuvwxyz~ heee

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