Bismillah....
I'd wanted to update the blog more often this Ramadhan but it seems that I was more occupied than ever. Surprisingly, while the beginning of the Movement Control Order (MCO) left me clueless with what else to do with my time, MCO during Ramadhan proved to be more productive as I discovered more and more activities to fill my time.
I'd thought of writing about my uncle for so many years but I don't know why I never get myself to do so. I'd wanted to write about him during Teachers Day because he is of course my number 1 favourite teacher but I was up to something else. So I'm going to do it now, on this rainy yet sweltering hot afternoon of 1st Syawal in the year of the new norm~
My friendliness towards the opposite sex are often misinterpreted. In fact, being misunderstood as 'a flirt' was something that I had to struggle with in my teenage years. But in adulthood, I just ignore people's false perception, don't even bother to explain myself and let my character speak for itself. What people don't know is I'm surrounded by too many males! I'm the only girl sandwiched in between an elder brother and a younger brother. While other girls are naturally more inclined towards their aunties despite having uncles too, I have no choice because I only have an uncle. And my foster family whom I stayed with during short semester breaks during my study in university has 7 sons!
I was kind of tomboyish during childhood. I was allowed to do all boys' stuffs except cut my hair short; a rule enforced by uncle and big brother. This basically also explains why I have so many guy friends. They are my so called 'Bruh~' hahaha and nothing more than that. My gradual 'transformation' actually started when I start working. Before that it was normal to hear close friends say, "GG yang macho" hahaha
My uncle is someone I would describe as an ambitious and hardworking man. I remember when I was little, he worked for a few months as a substitute teacher after he completed his STPM and that was when he discovered his passion in teaching. My grandmother was reluctant to let him go to UPSI (Formerly known as Maktab Perguruan Sultan Idris) and insisted that he should study at a nearby maktab, but he manage to convince her that UPSI was the best place to learn to become a teacher. I remember crying as we sent him off at the airport and I got really excited whenever his letters arrived or whenever he called. He didn't stop there, he already got his bachelor degree and masters today.
To my horror, he became a teacher in my school when I was in primary 1! But he was assigned to teach the upper primary classes so I was slightly relieved. He has a quiet demeanor but still warm and friendly; as a teacher I think he was very good at it, his students loved him although he was actually quite strict with his students. The pressure that he put on me was... he liked to register my name into all sorts of activities and competitions without asking me first... I remember I joined colouring contests which I eventually won in some of them... He registered me in story telling competitions and I eventually won first place at state level in two consecutive years. He registered me to compete in sports too. Well, I guess it was this crucial part of my life that shaped me into being someone who is not afraid to try something new because after a few times of 'surprised competitions', I got used to it and was sort of 'numbed'. The good thing was, my family was very supportive in helping me prepare for all the competitions.
I started speaking in front of big crowds very early and that's why I don't have stage fright. Of course, my uncle was the one to be 'blamed' for my first ever appearance on stage! I remember those days, it was always the kids in standard 6 that would emcee the morning assembly on Monday. I have no idea what made my uncle think that it was a brilliant idea to let his 9 year old niece become the youngest ever emcee. "In two weeks, you'll be emcee during Monday assembly. I already put your name." I was very furious and stubbornly refused. And he went like, "You have no choice, I already put your name. You still have time to practice. You'll make history, being the youngest emcee in SK Kerupang.." I didn't further disagree because I know nobody in my family will back me up. "Just do it!" has always been a family motto, perhaps even before NIKE~
I will forever remember that morning. It went out well. I didn't do any mistake, I read the text coherently, my voice was clear with, to me, just a small trace of nervousness but inside of me I was very very very very nervous. I was praised by every teacher that made speech that day so the crowd cheered and applauded to my so-called 'bravery' many times. I don't know why I didn't feel proud at all despite 'making history as the youngest emcee in SK Kerupang' but I saw my uncle was the one who was beaming with pride. And after that, there was never a nine year old emceeing the assembly again. It was only after this experience that I started to participate in story telling, pantomime and whatnot. And later in secondary school I was active with debate and public speaking. I participated in two small public speaking events in university and after that I just don't feel like it anymore.
My academic journey was also very much influenced by my uncle. My mom was also very particular about my education and she supervised my grades actually until I was in the university. I was never forced to perform well, but my family instill in us the desire to do our best in everything. When I was in primary 4, my uncle keep saying to me that the reason why you should get straight A is because "...that is easier to remember. So if someone ask you in the future, what was your UPSR, PMR and SPM result? Just say straight A. That's simpler than saying 2 A's, 2 B's, 1 C's..." I took that quite seriously.....
I'm forever proud with the fact that I played a role in his meeting with his wife. My mom's office had a picnic one weekend and I was assigned by my mom to persuade my uncle to drive us to the venue. I'd persuaded him by saying there are many beautiful single ladies at my mom's office and I did mention my aunt's name. So he did go with us, they met, dated and got married hahaha I remember he was so excited that he built his own pelamin! With, of course, the help of his loyal assistant, ME!
And then he continued to live a good life; he has a stable marriage and blessed with smart children. He is always honest in his dealings, good with his finances, very proactive, and always always always have projects going on may it be his school activities, his fruit orchards, his DIY projects etc. I always thought my uncle is just someone who is meant to live a near perfect life, although perhaps his struggles are not apparent to me. But in 2013, he was tested with a test so big that I couldn't imagine how I would've handled it if I were in his place. That morning on 16 June, he received a call from the police informing him his first child perished in a car accident.
When I reached home from Europe, everything very much have settled. Although I was still in disbelief that we were doing tahlil for Nurul, we were all already in acceptance. I almost snap at him when he said jokingly, "Kesian GG, tiada sudah bestfriendnya...". But when I look at him closely I didn't see sadness. But what I saw was a father who is redho with Allah's decree and was trying to be strong for the rest of us. This reminds me of what the Deputy Dean said to me when I had to undergo a semester with a broken leg. He said, "Allah will never burden a believer with something that he cannot handle. And with every hardship, He will give ease. But we decide what we become after we are tested. Do we want to learn from it, and be close to Allah or vice versa"
Nurul's passing hit our family really hard. It got us thinking a lot about life and death than ever before. She was so young and she departed so suddenly. In the Al Quran, Allah promised that He will not take something without replacing it with something better. After the tragedy, our family started to better our relationship with the Creator realizing that we will all go back to Him one day. It's not that we didn't know that earlier, but death never seem so REAL until we lose her. Partly, I do think this was how Allah grant one of my doa too... We were tested. With patience and acceptance, inshaAllah, we will be rewarded. Then, I get to witness our family leaning, understanding and practicing the religion more, Alhamdulillah.
I'm still very close to my uncle to this day. I still visit him and his family in monthly basis although I seldom go for a sleepover since Nurul died. My mom always said I'm waiting for a guy like my uncle to come into my life hahaha I think that is very true. Well, my dad is a good man too but as a child, I only spent time with my dad during school holidays so my uncle was my father figure in his absence. Hahaha I used to be very annoyed when people said I'm being choosy. These days, I don't even bother being judged like that anymore. After all, I am from a household with men that are respectful towards women, very helpful, very hardworking and always improvising themselves. And this, from my observation, is also seen in my cousins; close and distant... And that's all about my uncle...
