Eid Mubarak (^^)

Assalamualaikum and good day to all (^^)

One fact about time when you are already working, it flies faster than how it used to... Ramadhan didn't feel like 4 weeks to me... Tup tup tup.. Here we are in Syawal! Hurm.. I can't wait for my next Ramadhan because I think I didn't fully utilize this year's Ramadhan to maximize my ibadah. Seriously, rase terok (-_-")

Hurm.. lately, it seems that many of our local artists start to wear hijab. Many pictures of them were posted in FB. It's good that these public icons showed good examples. However, we must always keep in mind that, covering the aurah is just one component of being a Muslimah.. There are many other parts that need to be taken care of.

Some years ago I had this conversation with one ustaz about this categories of Muslims. I remember he said, the top rank is of course the prophets and then comes the ulama and then comes other categories after that. He said that most people are too comfortable born as Muslim but what a Muslim should actually aim for is actually to become a husnul muslimin. We shoulder a lot of responsibilities as a Khalifa and that's why being a Muslim is a continuous process of becoming..

Anyway, I just want to wish all of you Eid Mubarak. Let us celebrate our victory against nafs, our effort to get closer to Him and may all of us remain steadfast in our ibadah at all times. (^^)

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Macam D KK (^^)

Recently, Z and I are very into Borneo cultures and histories. This actually begins after our trip to Sandakan, where we were very much fascinated by how Sabah had prospered  during the British administration, how it survived the world war 2 and continue to thrive after that. We did a lot of reading and discoveries about our own origins; but of course Z did a lot more than I hehe Most of the time I only read up what she read after she told me..

But for now let me share with you what we have in KK for the past few months

This is an annual event that we have in KK. My colleagues were excited about it last year but I didn't get to participate at that time since I was still not confident with my once fractured femur to run that distance. But after lots and lots of encouragement from running addicts that I befriended with, got myself a very good running shoes and I started running.. F, who is a doctor, even prescribed me with "5km EOD!!!"..

So, yeah, this event actually is my first run after hurm.. maybe 7 years (^^)

With Bev and her friend at the starting point (^^)

This event is actually an initiative to raise funds for the Sabah Thalassaemia Society and Special Olympics Sabah other than promoting healthy lifestyle to the community. I was actually delaying my registration until a few more days before the event. Paid RM 28.00 for the fee and got that white t-shirt. Was so excited that I posted about it in FB several times as I waited for the day to come.

With Chris, a friend I met in CS

It was raining heavily that afternoon and I was actually hoping to run in the rain. But as the sunset approaches, the wind blew the dark clouds away from KK and we end up running on wet asphalt. But I like the atmosphere that evening. We were running slowly as the sun sets on the horizon; you can't run faster since there were too many people. They gathered about 12 500 participants for the run this year (^^)

I think the program was a great success; that's good news for both beneficiaries. I don't know much about the special olympics in Sabah but I do know Sabah has the greatest number of Thalassaemia patients in the country. And I do know the monthly cost of treatment per patient.. It's a lot!! Even though their treatment are subsidized by the government (sangat banyak... I'm neutral. Our gov deserve credit for their concern and contribution), there are of course other expanses that need to be covered by funds..

A week after the run, Z and I attended the 7th Sabah International Folklore Festival

This is also a yearly event but I just discovered this from reading a post in CS. I was actually not feeling well when I went out to get the tickets tapi semangat punya pasal ku gagahi jua.. Chewah! :p

I actually didn't know what to expect so I just sat there next to Z and let the dancers surprise me. I was indeed impressed. whispered to Z, "Aku x rasa macam d KK.."

The night start off with a great opening performance by Sabah dancers

There were 18 participating countries this year.

Brunei, Czech Republic, Timor Leste, Finland, Latvia, Philippine, Poland, Thailand, South Korea, Sri Lanka,    Kuwait, Egypt, Nigeria, China, Indonesia, Taiwan, Papua New Guinea & Kazakhstan

Actually, the dancers performed 2 dance in 2 consecutive nights. But we only watched the final. Macam menyesal pulak x pi 1st night huhu

All of them were unique. I love the music, the costumes, the moves, everything \(^^)/ This is one one of those things that you have to watch yourself. The kind that I cannot describe with words. It's really hard to snap pics as the dancers move because my camera is just a normal digicam. I shot some videos, very short ones because I actually forgot to charge my camera's battery.. (-_-")

So here are the pics and the videos :)

South Korea.. 

Timor Leste

Taiwan. Sangat cute!

Video.. Yang ni kalo x silap Poland..

Next one is Egypt

So, that's it (^^) Yes.. We're up to more Asian adventure.. A few weeks to go to our next destination. Yeehaw!!!!

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Curhat... Hard days will come.. But in the end..

Change is sometimes unavoidable.. They say, we'll grow with change.. That's a motivating statement but adapting to change and the growing process is not as easy as it sounds..

The last time I wrote a preamble like this one was when I had this self-deprecation episode during my clinical rotation; that was during my 1-year training. Not that I'm having another depressive episode or what ever. I just have this load in my heart right now that I need to pour it out in a lengthy post. Hopefully it won't be too emo and too negative.. 

Well, like most of you might have known already, I've been posted to a new place; replacing a colleague who decided to resign and make a giant leap in his career. I was not surprised when I was named to take his place considering that the pharmacy that I was in charged in had to be shut down due to some reasons. But, of course, my partial acceptance came with some fears....

New place.. New environment.. New people.. New discipline.. New responsibilities..

I think I will be able to cope well with the first three but the last two are the ones that worried me most. The new place concentrates on infectious disease so the wards basically house patients that require long-term antibiotics, close monitoring and isolation. Being in in patient for a year now, I identified my weaknesses.. And one of them is antibiotics... How can I be an infectious disease pharmacist when I'm not good in antibiotics? Earlier this year, during one of my meeting with my boss, I confided that I still have problems understanding antiobiotic regimens and even requested to be sent to any antibiotics workshop..

My responsibilities is somewhat extended in this new setting.. Now, I have to attend ward rounds every morning. Then go back to the pharmacy to supply medications. Then, if any patient is newly started on antiretroviral therapy, I would have to do counselling. And I'll be in charge of the stock, of purchasing special items and also dispensing discharge medications... I'm not complaining of the work load, no.. Sometimes it can be very relaxing there and I think I will have enough energy to do it. But this is a big responsibility that I'm not sure whether I can do it well enough... It seems that my colleague had done a great job that I only heard him lauded with praises by all the staffs there.. I just don't want to frustrate any parties..

Another thing I can't handle is the ward rounds.. I may complaint a lot about my legs hurting so bad every morning lately. But actually, I can't bare watching the patients.. I can't bare watching them lying there, looking so frail, so malnourished. Some turned so yellow due to damaged liver.. Some are even paralyzed by an infection that eats away brain tissues.. I found myself fighting back tears half of the ward round everyday.. I just can't look at things like that.. I'm too emotional~

Hurm... My other colleagues have been supportive. They said I'm ready for it. After a week there, 3 of them text me, asking how were things in the new place. And they always answer my questions almost immediately whenever I'm not sure about the clinical pharmacy stuff.. It seems that they believe in me more than I believe in myself...

After an endless self-affirmation, I've come to my senses... All these worries are wasteful.. Although it's good to predict the challenges ahead, but if it's to an extend that it dwells in your head and sort of hinder your productivity; that's a no-no, Haziah..

If you're not good in antibiotics? Study la bha, Haziah

If you're not good in clinical and you don't like looking like a loser during ward rounds?

Improve la your skill, Haziah

If you're worry about not being able to satisfy everybody..

Just do your best la bha.. Other's satisfaction tu nanti2 la yang penting you did your best :)

If you can't handle the 'scene'

Take your own time to get used to it.. It's normal to feel a bit emotional looking at them.. That makes you human.. But don't be overwhelmed by it la Haziah..

To think of it, this is the best plan that Allah has made for me. I always like clinical pharmacy but I'm not confident to be a clinical pharmacist just yet. I thought I should become an in patient pharmacist first to have my own time familiarizing myself with drugs and regimens. That was why I was so eager covering my clinical pharmacist friends when they go for a leave. But still my exposure wasn't much. He knows now is the right time and I don't..

I was taught not to give up and I always try not to.. But if it's not worth fighting for, I can easily let it go and move on.. But for this case.. It's worth not giving up (^^)

\\(".) I seek guidance from You, O Allah, in ll of  my doings here on earth.. Amin~

In the end... Everything should be just fine.. Just as planned.. Not mine.. But His plan :)

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