180311 Jalan jalan

I've been all stressed out throughout the clinical rotation. Literally had some bouts of anxiety episodes in which I woke up during the witching hour with this weird and somewhat nerdy tendency to grab on the Clinical Practice Guidelines that I was told to finish. Luckily, I survived and is still independent of tranquilizers... So actually this recent trip to KL was yet another excuse to escape the hustle and bustle of the hospital life...



It was Adi Asraf's wedding that I'd attended. We opted to ride a train to go there and our journey was of course not without drama.. That morning, we missed the first ETS train to Perak and had to wait for the slow-and-no-announcement train instead. All of us (Mar, Eqa, Mida and me) were actually so sleepy but Mida and I end up chatting all the way to Perak. We'd noticed all the stations in which the train had stopped until the sight of the mountains came into view. That was when our voice suddenly raised in excitement and it was like as if we were sealed in this invisible sphere that disconnect us from the real world..

Suddenly we heard Eqa calling our names. Both of us jubilantly looked at her; still excited with the recollection of memories of the mountains. With her eyes half-opened, she croaked "Woit, tengok kat luar stesen ape.." The train was already moving when we saw the sign board "Kampar" and Mida and I was like "OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

We manage to reach the wedding but of course off schedule. Ate Kuew Teoy, nasi campor and ice cream, took pictures and off we went. At the train station, we revised on the list of names of our classmates who'd married. Quite a lot already that the list needed two pairs of hands there and many are coming at the end of this year.

This is the picture of the ETS. Very comfortable indeed and most conveniently afforded with announcement of each coming station by this mellow voice of a woman.

The time passed so fast that day.. I really miss the times we had in UIA..
(wow.. that actually rhymes hehe)

On Sunday, I'd coaxed Shifaa to meet us in OU. I actually wanted to go to Camp5 to get a pair of brand new, high quality climbing shoes. I finally decided to try out this Saltic brand which was kind of foreign to me. And currently, I'm quite obsses with my new climbing shoes because it is just so freakin' comfortable!!!!! hehe It's just the yellow colour that's not in my favourite list though..

Stayed at Mida's place on my third night there. Shopped a bit in Wangsa Walk with Mida constantly professing of how she is shocked with my unprecedented frugality. Grabbed this amazing book... I'll have this book's review posted soon.

And the final drama of this trip was when I for the FIRST time ever, MISSED MY FLIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!! huhu But never mind.. There's always hikmah in disguised of every mishap.. And I immediately detect the hikmah for this one.. I met this fella in the pic that very day (^^)
This fella was in my wishlist and all this while, I thought I'll never see it in front of my eyes my whole life....

The End~

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Bila mau kawen

The "Bila mau kawen?" question is pouring on me like raindrops during the monsoon season.. I have no idea at all of how all the people around me are seem to be so united and unanimous in torturing me with such question...

My "InshaAllah tahun depan" scheme that I created last year could be the reason why the 'attack' is intensified this year.. D**N IT!!!! What a collateral damage!!!!!

So I created another scheme..

"Kawen??? Lambat lagi.. Susah la nak cari yang rajin, jarang ada dekat rumah and banyak duit.."

Hahaha! I always manage to make people's jaw drop with this answer. One of my friend spontaneously blurt, "O my God!!! You are so not ready to get married!!!!". And usually people would just shake their heads in disbelief and dismiss the topic.. Voilla!!!!!!!!!


But honestly, I don't really mean what I said of course. It's just a trick to get away from all the free of charge lecture entittle 'Marriage and its benefits' or 'List of the reasons why you should marry now!" which often last for at least 15 minutes. I just can't stand it...

Like I said before, I don't even have any specific attributes that I want in a guy. Over time, I will finally meet someone who is just perfect for me.

And you know what I really despise of all the things related to this pestering marriage topic?? It's when people urge me to FIND someone.. Cari CaRi CARI~ Oh common.. If I do found someone I'm fond of, could I actually ask him to marry me???? Ok, maybe I could.. But tell me, what's the percentage that I might succeed?? (the effect of reading too many journals.. obsessed with figures..)

Instead of CARI, I think when it comes to USAHA, DOA and improving oneself in many aspects of life is much much much more superior.

My friend is definitely right. I am NOT ready yet. Currently my body and mind are focused on my family and also on achieving something in my profession and climbing.. Let me deal and be good at these first and then I could focus on becoming a good wife (^^)


Sometimes I think it's either I haven't met him yet or I already had but still don't know it's him... It's ok for him to come by late.. Because I know he will come at the right time as Allah have willed

"Marriage is not the answer to eternal happiness. It is just another phase of life with totally different problems"

Cant agree more.. And that's why I don't want to enter that phase of life unprepared...

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Taking it to a PERSONAL level...

It's the end of my sixth week in the clinical rotation and I'm currently stationed in the ICU ward. 2 weeks full of turmoils to go...

Recently, I've been quite sentimental. A mixture of crisp emotions ever so frequently wash over me as I scrutinize the hospital surrounding. I'm starting to see the hospital as a small world that have almost everything in it...

In these weeks, in which I'm closest to the patients and their families, I saw a lot of things.. I saw the spark of joy in one's eyes as the doctor confirmed to him that he's recovering.

I saw a patient broke down on his bed when the doctor explained that he'll be debilitated for life. With most of his spine damaged, he could only quiver with tears running down his cheeks. It was a heart wrenching scene..

I saw patients who gave up hope and refuse treatment because they can't endure the excrutiating pain.

I also witnessed family members who never lose hope and waited for miracle to happen. Despite knowing the fact that the patient won't be able to 'make it', the family continue to take good care of the patient and had kept him comfortable.

There were two deliberate self-harm cases in which none survived

Currently in ICU, I'm still trying to get use to looking at those patients who have all the wires and tubes inserted into them and is trying to adapt with those irritating beeping sounds of the life support machines.

Looking at these people, I realize that.. yeah.. we don't have complete control of our fate... Everything happen by His will and we can never predict what's His plan for us tomorrow.

My self-deprecation episode have not entirely subside but I'm starting to gain confident again as I look at my patients. They are the reason why I should learn more. They are the reason for me to polish my knowledge and skills. They are the reason because I'm taking this to a personal level. I'm putting myself in the shoes of their family members who are fill with hope and that hope is actually in the hands of the healthcare team.

The healthcare team can never fight fate. But what they can do is to provide the best service. If I were in the shoes of those family members, I wouldn't want my family member to be treated by incompentent healthcare providers; may it be the doctor, the nurse or the pharmacist. Because these people complement each other. Any incompetentcy could be lethal in any stage of care.. And an incompetent pharmacist is what I DON'T want to be...

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