Torn between...

Story No 1

A few years ago I dejected it when I was to teach a class of illiterate students. I thought it was unfair of the school system to let experienced teachers to focus on the bright students while those who perform poorly are left to an untrained substitute teacher like me. But then Allah wanted to show me something else.

Seated on the front row, it would've been easy for me to notice her. But she was so timid that I only manage to remember her name that was of two syllables at the end of my first week as a teacher. Later I found her to be constantly staring at the wall during my class; I thought she was just not interested. However, during an examination I found that she was rather 'different' than the rest of the class.

It was a BM objective paper where students were required to answer some grammar questions. A mock OMR paper was given to each student and I'd announced the instructions to my students. All of them understood the instruction except her. As her friends were busy shading the right answer on the OMR paper, she just stared blankly at her paper. I approached her and said, "M, hitamkan jawapan yang betul.."

Without even looking at the question paper, she shaded one of the circle on the first row. A student sitting nearby noticed my incredulous reaction said, "Dia nda pandai baca tu, cikgu". I was not surprised about that. Then I instructed her, "M, setiap baris ni, M hitamkan satu ok.. Mana-mana saja yang M rasa mau hitamkan.. Mesti hitamkan sampai habis tau.."

Then she started to shade the second row and then start to stare at the paper again. "Lagi satu.." then she shade the row below the second one.. Then I realized that she doesn't understand simple commands. I just stood there and continue saying "Lagi satu.." until she finish shading the 40th row.. As I stood there I thought, "MashaAllah, I'm gifted.."

Story No 2

It was the long semester break when I volunteered as a committee for a paralympic event in Labuan. I still remember every single moment of my time spent with those special athletes and one of them is what I'm going to tell. There were three gentlemen who represented their states for bowling. Physically perfect, I was curious of what are their disability that had qualified them as a Paralympic athlete. Then I came to get my answer when the room keys were distributed to the athletes. The guy incharge of the room keys were telling the three gentlemen their room number

"Bilik kamu 308.."

The three of them repeated after the guy "308.. 308.. 803.."

"Tiga.. Kosong.. Lapan.."

" 308.. 803.. 083.."

I was flummoxed at how short term their memories were... Once again "MashaAllah, I'm gifted.."

My story~

Currently, I'm stationed at one of the busiest ward in the hospital where I'm working. It's a medical ward that requires you to be well verse in all disciplines of health care and having attached with a very knowledgable preceptor sort of put me into a lot of stress. I'm not stressed out because he is strict or anything. In fact, he's kind and very keen in sharing his knowledge. It's just that my self-esteem is crumbled by the fact that my knowledge is so superficial as compared to his. At one point, I even thought

"Ok, lepas ni aku mau kerja di klinik kesihatan jak. Get married, pregnant and raise my children.."

But then, the stories mentioned sort of came to me as my feverish body lay flat on my bed yesterday. I was thinking... Some people in the world are not as gifted as me.. Some can't fathom the simplest command.. Some can't even remember the simplest things... But ME who CAN are now in the verge of giving up.. How shameful.. I better off giving my gift to someone else who would've used it for a better purpose...

I'm currently torn between whether I want to live that simple life that I ramble about during my self-deprecation or should I work hard for some period of time to be as good as my preceptor or even better. And I'm fully aware that the later is of more benefits; that is benefit to me and to the people I would serve. A simple life seems more appealing though but that simply means that I succumb to cowardice.. That simply means I just transgress my own principle to plow my potentials in everything I do... O I don't know..


Three phrases are currently in my mind.. One is this hadith...

Allah’s Messenger (SAW ) said: “The strong believer is better and more loved by Allah than the weak one, but they are both good.” (Muslim)

Second.. Is my best friend's favourite phrase or probably her motto..

"Start with the end in mind.."

And finally one of my own principle..

"If you can't be the best, you could at least be good.."

Still pondering...

Read More

Tinggi Gunung Kinabalu~ (^^)

The last time I set foot on the grounds of Sabah highlands was actually about 8 years ago; right after SPM.. So, can you imagine how ecstatic I was about this trip?? If it weren't for the endless standing during my day in the ward, I probably couldn't sleep the night before; out of excitement. But I fell asleep very early and rose quite early too to prepare food..
Cooked mi goreng, chicken nugget and omlette hehe simple2 saja bha




Since I was on the wheel, I couldn't enjoy the sceneries that much. My eyes were focused on the winding road. I was actually quite nervous because I've never driven on winding roads before hehe On the left is the peak of mount Kinabalu. It was almost covered by the clouds there. On the right is a picture of this very huge waterfall. I wish to see it closer one day..

Actually, our main destination was Poring Hot Spring but I just coudn't resist the temptation to go to the Kinabalu Park. So when I saw the junction, I swerved to the left and went straight up until the starting point of the climb.. hehe See how excited I am in the pic!! The starting point is already so cold!! I was wearing a t-shirt, a cardigan and then I had to put on my sweater to get warm

e

The starting point is already quite high above the sea level so the surrounding forest was already the mossy type.. Before this, I only heard about the locals bringing up gas tanks on their backs. But that day I manage to see one!!! Quickly snapped the pic hehe

We didn't plan to try out the tracks at the first place, but then the entrance fee was quite cheap so.. WHY NOT!!!??? Hehe We hiked until the 1st checkpoint, Pondok Kandis. I was so surprised to see it is equipped with a sitting toilet haha O ya, there's a small waterfall halfway up..

Am I the only one in my batch who is getting fatter???

We did go to Poring as planned but by the time we arrived, my uncle's family was already on their way back to KK. We had our lunch in my car and then the kids went to swim their heart out in the sliding pool. I brought my clothes but was not in the mood to swim since the pools were jampacked with half-naked guys~ YUCK! So Pijah and I went to the canopy walk instead hehe

We were so hungry!!!!!

So this is how the canopy walk looked like. You have to pay Rm3 for adult and RM5 for your camera.. Weird right?? Your camera worth more than you...

The pic on the right is actually what lies below the canopy walk.. That's a waterfall there. With all those logs uprooted due to the land slide.. The scenery below it look so natural, you know.

So that's it~ I love Sabah~ Peace!

Read More

The Kite Runner~ T_T

I know I'm like more than half a decade late.. This book was published in 2003 and Khaled Hosseini already has his 2nd novel published.. I just finish reading this book recently and I have like tons of praises to laud this author for this very fascinating piece of work!

The book was known to me about 2 years ago when Len pointed at it during one of our strolls in MPH Midvalley. She said lots of people recommended it to her and she saw the book in our library in Kuantan. I wasn't paying much attention back then because I already had another book in mind but I'd kept the detail in my mind

The Kite Runner; good book. Must read one day~

I've to say it's the price of English books that deprived me from buying them during my study years. Soooooo discouragingly expensive! Now... I can buy them as much as I please!! Muahaha!! So back to the book.. Let me tell you what it did to me...

I started reading it on the flight back to Kota Kinabalu from Penang. It was undeniably a page-turner and I manage to read half of it during the flight. I was sandwiched in between two chinese girls; one was sound asleep with her head propped againts the window and the other one flipping through a chinese magazine. There I was; the book clasped in my left hand and my right hand was continuously pulling plies of tissues because tears kept running down my cheeks! I think I cried in 2/3 of the journey hahaha

So what's so0o0o0 special about the book???

1stly. The Language... I say Khaled Hosseini is a great story teller.. The words, the adjectives he used was in every way perfect to enable readers to imagine every single plots clearly. You can feel the sorrow, the guilt, the love and whatnot of every character. He didn't need bombastic words to make his story beautiful~

Then of course the story itself.. It starts off with the beauty of the friendship between Amir and Hassan. Hassan's loyalty towards Amir was unshakable and he was so naive! And I was very touched by Baba's generosity and humility. He accepted his own servant as family, built orphanage, help the poor, stood up to what he thought was right and many more. Baba's character has its own flaws but I say he's like a Hero! hehe

I was also touched by the love of the Afghans towards their land.. When Amir came back to search for Sohrab, at first he thought he had forgotten Afghanistan and Afghanistan had forgotten him.. But then he still feel the sense of belonging to the land when he was there despite how horrific the condition was due to wars.. He didn't recognize most of the places he visited after years of exile.

Everybody have to read this!!!!

This kind of story kind of remind you to put your feet on the ground no matter how high you soar above the sky~

Read More