OLD VS. MATURE~

"What's your definition of maturity, Haziah?" asked a senior back in school.

I was a little bit stratled with the question especially when it came from someone who is older but I answered it anyway. With little confidence though~

"I don't really know but I think it's when you think more than once in making a decision and finally you get to choose the right thing to do... I guess~"

Hurm~ that was like 8 years ago when I was in form 3. But as I grow, I realize one thing.. Ironically, maturity doesn't neccessarily grow with age. The increasing number doesn't really portray the increment of maturity. In some cases, maturity even declines as we grow old...

This is not from mere observation. Even me myself, I think as I grow my principles and conscience sometimes become shaky deep within. I think I need reminders a lot more these days than before. And it seems that the 'cases', 'happenings', and the 'doings' of the people around me has also become more and more 'extravagant' than they were before.

Is it that now we are an 'adult' so we get to do whatever we want?

Or is it that we are no longer afraid of the consequences that we COULD get or WILL get from the things we did?

I'm pretty sure almost every Muslim child said these when they were little..

"Jangan buat macam tu.. Nanti Allah marah~"

"Jangan tipu, nanti kena potong lidah~"

But~ sadly we almost always forget to remind ourselves like this these days~ Yerp~ same goes to Haziah~

It's worrisome~ Looking at the 'extravagant' things done by the people around me, it gives me this crushing feeling in my ribs and I constantly ask "Why?"...

It's worrisome~ I'm so0o0o0 so0o0 so0o0o0 worried if one day I'm placed in that position. Because it would be so sadistic~

It's like having renal failure~ your kidney is problematic.. Detected early by doctors and they give you treatment.. The doctors are the people who love and care for you and tell you what you did wrong..

But then the treatment failed~ so your renal failure progress to the next stage and it goes on until the final stage if all interventions fail~ And at the end stage (when your mistake is at its peak).. some people they are lucky to get a kidney transplant but to some the transplant never come and finally die...

The transplant is like you are enlightened to see the truth and go back on track.. But to some, they just 'leave' with the mistake never corrected~ some even 'leave' while doing it.. huhu that gives me goosebumps~ Hurm~ Pondering again~

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I just finished reading a junior's blog talking about syndicates that use children to beg for money~

I remember an arab class I had during matrix.. The ustazah recited a hadith that tells the story of our Prophet giving a beggar a sack of grains to sell so that the beggar will stop begging...



At the end of the class she told us


"Don't encourage beggars to beg.. When you give, you are encouraging them not to work and hope from others.. But if you see those who have something with them like tissues then you can give because there's an effort there.."


I told mommy what the ustazah taught us.. Like always, she has her own opinion on the matter too


"Hurm.. I think, when you are in doubt to give some change to the beggar because you're afraid they are from a syndicate, then don't just pass by just like that.. Pray for them in your heart~ that's the least you could do,right?"

huhu~ that's my dear mom (^^)v


Hurm~ as for dad.. Once a kid begged at our table when we were having our family meal somewhere in KL... I thought he was going to shoo him away because the boy was so persistent~ but then dad invited him to join our dinner.. Then the boy left with full stomach of course.. Then dad said


"At least the boy left with a full stomach~" all of us smiled~





Hurm~ ponder ponder~

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Rx5 Girls: GORGEOUS!!!!

Lately, life has been miraculously amazing for me~ My team won second place in the Rx Quiz and I was named as best participant~ That never crossed my mind at all though I repeatedly and jokingly mouthed that the star trophy will be mine to my roommates~

Anyway~ to me those are not due to my own effort alone.. Yeah I worked my ass off pretty hard for the quiz.. Felt like banging my head against the wall since I had to read all those stuffs again~

It was Allah’s will for sure.. But I also think I owe my friends a lot into making it to this quiz..

There are soo0o0 so0o0 so0o0 many points in time where I was very very vulnerable to fail the exams.. It was my lovely Rx friends who’d supported me all the way.. They assisted me in so many tasks and gave me shoulders to cry on..

Still remember when this impish little girl had an accident with her ex and broke her leg?

I remember that very well of course.. I could’ve flung that semester easily with the total of a month of absence… I couldn’t have make it through the semester if it wasn’t for my friends’ support and assistance.. I’m most in debt to my two dear roommates Mekwa and TK who patiently took care of me throughout the ordeal..

These are the girls who walked with the snail-like-temporary-handicap for the whole semester…

These girls are the ones who tend to all my needs when I was incapable.. at one time, I even needed their help to pick things that I dropped on the floor..

Every time back from a follow up in PPUM, I’ll find notes on my desk

The Rx 5 girls also cheered me up during a surprise birthday party after halaqah~ they did a good job because I couldn’t figure out their plan

Then came the painful heartbreak during final in the 1^st semester of 3^rd year. An appalling discovery of betrayal really made me crash..I was like a living zombie who was still alive to sit for 12 papers.. I was crying during exam! Luckily nobody noticed that hahaha

It was Hawa and Shifaa who willingly sat with me to give their support when they also have things to study.. These girls had to bear sitting with a melancholy girl beside them, who was holding her notes but with tears continuously streaming down her cheeks~ Alhamdulillah~ I passed all the papers~ Awe and Shifaa are THE BOMB!

I’m also thankful to have friends like Mida who’d also been a good listener and who’d reminded me of the wise but agonizing decisions that we have to make in life~

friends like ray who is full of spontaneous jokes that never fail to tickle my funny bone~

friends like atiq who is always wise in her words and doings~

friends like mar who share the same passion in anime ~

friends like anea who is caring ~

friends like fizah who is always happy and sweet~

friends like dayah who is always cute and sincere~

friends like zati who is cute and genius~

friends like jijah who is kind~

friends like iqa who likes to take my picture haha~

friends like kak teha who is always loving and ready to share her thoughts and knowledge~

friends like jiha who is fun and a good cook~

friends like kak farah who share the same passion with me~ SHOPPING! hehe

and other friends like jaja,nail,fuzah,che’na,azurin,ainna and hind~

So I guess that’s all for this post~ I love you all~ MUAAAAHX!!!! hehe

o yeah~ thanx for coming to my open house @ kfc!!!!!!!!!

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