The Natural Conspiracy~ Traffic...

Do you ever notice that whenever you're late, everything around you seem to conspire to make you even later than you already are???


There is always something in your way that prevents you from arriving at the intended destination just in time.. That happened to me YESTERDAY~


I was late for something and was speeding at 100 km/h on the right lane of the road.. Here, the average speed is usually between 60-70 km so for someone driving in that speed, she's probably considered as a reckless moron. But I really have to speed up due to a solid acceptable reason.

Remember this guy??? hehe

As I was focusing on my driving, suddenly I saw a white kancil upfront travelling at about 60 km so I slowly press the brake and tail the kancil. I really wanted to overtake the kancil but there was a red saga just next to it and they seem to be cruising gleefully at the same speed leaving me no room to overtake... Luckily the kancil took a different exit at a roundabout~



Then, there I was determined to make it in time. I start focusing on the road again with my right leg steadily pressing against the pedal. Suddenly upfront a slow moving motorcycle was about to overtake a car (seriously SLOW, like 40 km/h or maybe even 20 km/h). If I hit the brake a second late, I would've knocked the motorist. I hit the brake with all my might (exaggerating~) and manage to slow down and not hit the motor but I had to bear the distasteful inertia. I hear a loud thud from the back seat. Great now my books fell off~ I did steal a glance at the motorist when I finally overtook it to turn to the right. I saw a young confident face. Confident as if he was riding a stallion~



I turn to the right and evaded the motorist. I started to speed again at the right lane. And then come another white kancil who was moving quite slowly in front of me. I have no choice but to overtake it using the left lane and as I did, the driver seem to press on the pedal harder and they we were on a pointless race~ It was really annoying...


Well.. I manage to arrive just in time. Alhamdulillah~ It's just so weird how things could get in your way when you're in need of the whole universe to be on your side~



Moral of the story... If some one is speeding up, he or she might not just be a reckless moron. He or she might be in some kind of emergency or urgency...


Another moral of the story... Depart early to arrive early.. Ouch! that hurts~ hehe

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Puppy Love: Part I ~ Always the SWEETEST (^^)

An array of distant memories came rushing into my mind as I gaze at the ornament resting on my palm. It was a silver necklace with a diamond pendant; the last vestige of a long forgotten relationship. I curled up a smile for the memories that sets in was nonetheless are pleasant ones..


When I was thirteen...


Trying to fit in was a struggle when you are shifting from another school full of secularism into a school that puts emphasize in Islamic practice. Entering the school compound without a veil during day one was enough to make false stories trailing my every action for months.. One of the most notable occasion would be when I was summoned by a naqib to answer about the gossip of me with another guy in my batch.


It was another normal recess, except that I was heading towards the form 4 block instead of the canteen to the meeting I know I would dread forever. In my pace, I tried to heave every ounce of courage from deep within. I was determined to tell the naqib the truth, that everything was untrue and that it was another malicious rumour... I have no idea who he is, how he look like.

I don't care if he is fiery in his looks and harsh in speech, I'll tell the truth with dignity!


When I arrived, there the naqib was leaning against the railing. I could feel a surge of fear starting to cover my body. When he turned around facing me, he was nothing that I've imagined. He was tall, rather dark in complexion and I would definitely categorize him as good looking. His neatly combed hair, nicely ironed uniform and his shiny Walker boots was enough to give the impression that he's a dandy or maybe a strickler for neatness. I greeted him and asked what was it that he want to talk to me about.


Suddenly his glare soften and with a smile he said, "It's okay. You can go for recess.." I was dumbfounded and was left puzzled all day long.


When I was thirteen during a hockey clinic

The atmosphere of the gravel walkway was filled with chattery and laughters; all of us were pretty excited to get our hands on the hockey stick with the hope that there is a hidden talent buried in us waiting to be excavated. The seniors were already on the field when we arrived there. Suddenly I saw a face that made me want to run away and leave the clinic at once. There T was, the naqib who called for me a few days ago. He asked us to form a line and he started to give us a simple briefing about the game.. OOO~ so he's the school captain~

We were then divided into small groups and each of us were given a hockey stick made of fiber glass. All the seniors were assigned to teach a group except for T; he just wander about, randomly observing the groups. I was waiting for my turn to hit the ball when T approach my group. He said something to the senior and suddenly I heard my name being called. I reluctantly head towards T and I swear I saw him smirk.. And what is he up to now???


T: Remember me??
G: For sure~
T: Now try passing the ball to me..


So we did several passes. In all honesty, I was quite delighted to have the attention of the handsome captain but at the same time I feel so awkward with the unexpected cordiality after our first meeting.. At the end of the clinic, I realized that we were already far from the rest of the crowd. The sun had started its descent at that time and I could see its golden rays reflecting off the grass. When it was time for me to join the group T said, "Hey.. maybe we could be friends someday.." All I can give as a respond was a shrug... Weird guy~


When I was thirteen before the long vacation

My emotion was like a whirlpool; a blend of confusion, apprehension and undeniably a pinch of excitement. I was not sure whether I was being a paranoia or being delusional but I thought T was stalking me.. I noticed that he often roam in front of my class since the hockey clinic and I swear I sometimes saw him glancing towards my way at the corner of his eyes as he pass by. Once, I found a short note handwritten by him under my table saying,

I saw you without your hijab last Saturday..

-T-

I failed to grasp the message and also failed to predict his intention. It was a mere statement that left me asking myself "What is it that he's trying to say?? Can't he be frank??? Just write a bunch of tazkirah then I won't be confused"

Two days before vacation, I received a package from T; cylinder in shape and wrapped neatly with a flowery wrapper. All my 7 roommates gathered around me as I open the wrapper. Three of my roommates are from his batch and they were indeed excited, even more excited than I was. When what's inside was finally revealed, the titters and pratllings immediately turned into squaels, some even jumped onto their beds. It was a mineral bottle full with drowned LIZARDS! And this was when I first start to hate lizards very much. I returned the bottle to T in a nicely wrapped box.


A day before vacation, I received another package from T. This time it was square in shape, considerably thick and was wrapped in a pink wrapper. I expected the worse as I unwrap it and my prejudice was obliterated when I found it to be three books and a very cute,nicely woven facetowel. They were accompanied by a handwritten short note

Please don't be mad at me for yesterday's prank.. I just want us to be friends..
I hope you like these.. Enjoy the holiday ;)

-T-

Amused~ "One weird guy~"

To be continued....

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What it feels to work~

It's been two weeks and I've written nothing about my job as a PRP in Queen Elizabeth Hospital~ How shall I start this..??? Every single thing was actually a rush.. I came back from my "adventure" on the 27th June; my flight was bound to Labuan so I'd to rush to KK on the 30th June. This broke damsel in distress opted to go by ferry since she's really out of cash. I didn't report for duty on the1st July since the letter only arrived at my doorstep that evening. I was expecting the Poslaju van but was too carried away with the anime series that I've missed.

I eventually left the Postman honking for more than 15 minutes in front of the gate. I thought it was the truck selling gas on its routine rounds hehe



Everything was basically the same with my other friends; plenty of forms to be filled, rushing to and fro about the hospital vicinity to settle adminstration stuffs. One unique thing about Queen Elizabeth Hospital there is orientation for new staffs and we've to collect the signatures from all the big bosses. That sound teddious to me at first. I was like, "This is so like school!" but then I end up liking meeting all those big bosses. They are so humble, approachable and have this quality that you don't mind them talking for hours, they say things that you want to listen



One of the deputy director talked about how to live life. He said that we've to make the hospital as our 2nd family which we love so that we will be able to give our service in consistent earnesty and maintain happiness as well. He was the one who pointed at me and told me to flirt after I said marriage haven't crossed my mind. He went on by telling how difficult it would be if I still have very young children in my 40's or 50's.. I say, he succeeded in making me freak out a little bit. I've never thought about that when I decide to delay settling down~ I mean not too late, just not in these 2 years..

I'm currently stationed in a satelite pharmacy (SF). For those who are not familiar with this, SF is actually the section that supply medications to the wards. We'll receive trolleys and medication charts, screen the charts for any ambiguity and if everything is okay, we'll fill all the prescriptions. Here, clinical pharmacy is very much emphasized. They have pharmacist in every ward and there are already too many occurences where I witness the doctors asking for the pharmacists' opinions and recommendations in these 2 weeks. I've never came across this during my study years, only heard of it. About doctors being ego and feeling superior to the pharmacist, that just seem not to be the case here. I saw them working in harmony~ Respecting each other's role.

About my task, first I was asked to do filling to make me familiarize with all the medications that we have. Then came the counselling assessment in which I think I did pretty badly. I rushed in and out of wards everyday. Sometimes up to 10 times not including bedside dispensing. This happen when there's dubiety in the prescription so there I go checking the patient's bedticket. When I got back, I'll be poured with questions (it felt more like bombshells) and there I go rechecking the bed ticket again and again for the things I've overlooked. Sometimes, if I'm asked about a particular drug, trust me it would include questions like mode of action, minimum and maximum dose, onset and duration of action, storage and stability etc. The answers are of course not in my head and there I go flicking the books for answer or browsing through the electronic micromedex~

Unfortunately for me, the cases were always those that I'm not familiar with. They were never CVS, respiratory or DM cases. They are like Myasthenia gravis, typhoid fever, rheumatic heart disease and many more. I guess there were groups that did these cases back in UIA, it was just me who didn't pay attention~


So far, I still think I'm in the right career. There is just a lot of coping up to do in the beginning. Though I'm put into a lot of test of knowledge, I guess I can handle it. This is how life is as a healthcare provider, continuous learning. I would like to end this with something that a friend once told me~


"Living is always about giving out service.. We are given our role so we better do it right because if we don't, who else will?? Remember, you might know what someone else don't and someone else may know what you don't. Keep on learning and keep on giving out the best service you could.. And never expect something tangible in return when it comes to giving service~ You'll be dissapointed if you think like that~"

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MIssing you~ World Cup

It's 10 pm right now.. And my eyes are watery, stinging and I'm pretty sure they are bloodshot right now.. I'm SO0O0O0 SLEEPY~ Well, I'm in the course of resetting my biological clock back to normal.. Like any football fan who've been faithful with the matches, I'm also suffering from POST-WORLD CUP SLEEPING DISORDER~ It's only tonight that I'm able to fight the desire to sleep until 10 pm.. Usually I would fall asleep at around 9 pm and was all wide awake and fresh at 2 am. With no match to watch, I would just blink in the dark while lying on my cozy bed (Not so spacious though. Currently sharing it with my cousin~)



It's only 4 days since the FIFA 2010 ended and I already miss it so very much. 4 years will be a long wait and by then some of my favourite players won't be in the team anymore; I'm very sure this is Klose's final world cup~
I'll miss you Klose!!!!!!!!!!!


There's no more walking towards the TV first thing in the morning in the zombie-like motion~

No more pressing the red button on the astro remote control~

No more adrenaline rush- usually experienced a day before Germany's match hehe

And most importantly, no more watching handsome guys in jerseys~ unless I choose to follow the clubs leagues of course...


Hurm.. I was not that dissapointed when Germany lose to Spain and only make it to third place. I've predicted Spain to be the champion from the very beginning. Well, the team is well known to have many skillful players like David Villa, Fernando Torres, Cesc Fabregas and a very reliable keeper, Iker Cassilas, who manage to thwart most goal shots. This team have caught my attention since EUFA 2008 but still... my love belongs to GERMANY~

But I think my BELOVED GERMANY did just great during this World Cup.. With new young players majority in the team, it's okay for them to learn what it felt like to lose so they'll try harder in the coming world cup in Brazil.. The match with Spain was rather boring but the match with Argentina and Uruguay really got me jumping off the sofa for so many times.. Umie told me of what noise I've made during both match hehe Sorry~ It was my first time to see Messi steer the ball and successfully pass all defenders. I was astounded at how he manage to keep the ball at such speed and with that many obstacles in front of him.. Nice nice~



Though a friend of mine repeatedly emphasize that Germany's victory was owed to the fact that they've trained by using Jabulani since January, I really don't think that's the case.. Being used to the ball is NOT the only factor that contribute to the 4 winning goals in almost every match they've won. There are lots of other aspects too like good team work, a very nice counter attack strategy and I think they did good passes as well...


I guess that's it about FIFA 2010~ My heart will go on for GERMANY!!!



Cogratulations to Thomas Muller who won two awards;

The Best Young Player and The Golden Boot...

Ich liebe dich Deutschland!!! \(^^)/

and oh yeah~ Someone new made it into my 'The Guys Who Stole My Heart" list.. It's Cesc Fabregas of Spain.. His agility, spirit and sparkling spanish eyes just make him sooooo irresistable to me~ And I only notice how good-looking he is after he shaved his beard :P

Te quiero Fabregas~ hehe

And yeah~ Lets put this hot celebrity of FIFA 2010 picture to0 hehe

PAUL the Octopus (^^)

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Nothing is to0 Small~

I came across this simple story in one of my books.. The message is inevitably fascinating even with these few sentences...


As the old man walked the beach at dawn, he noticed a young man ahead of him picking up starfish and flinging them into the sea. Finally catching up with the youth, he asked him why he was doing this. The answer was that the stranded starfish would die if left until the morning sun.
"But the beach goes on for miles and there are millions of starfish," countered the other. "How can your effort make any difference?"
The young man looked at the starfish in his hand and then threw it to safety in the waves. "It makes a difference to this one," he said.

-Minnesota Literacy Council

After reading this, it was dawned on me of how I sometimes fail to appreciate small efforts. I guess everyone does; at least once in a lifetime. Some small efforts are even ridiculed with wretched mockery. Only a person with great personality could've survived from such insult and continue his pursuit without rancor and rejoice afterwards.. Those who fail to shun such insult would probably stop without even knowing what happy ending the small effort would breed~


To think of it, it's actually a perpetual rule that everything big starts from something small.. A multimillionaire usually starts from scratch, a plant starts from a seed and even in the creation of man, we were all once born into this world as an innocent infant whose needs and neccessaties were fulfilled by our parents..


To belittle small efforts is a setback.. A setback to attaining big dreams.. A setback to a long awaited victory.. A setback to many things that lead to the betterment of something.. The youth in the story gives a good example of a man with a steady conscience and pure intention; knowing his deed is of worth though to some it is absurd...


(^^) Ponder~ ponder~

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Akhi wa Hurairah or is it wa Qittun???

Ok~ My arabic is obviously terrible but I guess the title up there plainly tells you what I'm about to write...




This is my big bro.. I know I seldom mention him in this blog (have I ever mention him..??) It's not that we're not close or have any issues. In fact we're very close and I can say he had put a lot of influences on me as I grow.. Well, most of these 'influences' I'm talking about are actually those which lead me into liking boy stuffs such as watching WWE, martial arts, video games and X games~ And as his kin, we sure have some in common like we love CATS but my BIG BRO is an EXTREMIST when it comes to CATS!!!! Here's why~


FLASHBACK!!!!


When I first got home, around mid April, I noticed there were new cats in the house but they appear to be handicapped (I can't find other words to best describe them)...

One was limp.. Faltering in his each and every step

One with a torn left ear and I believe this had caused him to have that tilted-to-the-left head due to loss of balance..

One has a glaucoma in one eye..

Gg: Mommy, why are the cats seem to be 'physically impaired'??

Mommy: Owh. They're actually stray cats captured by the city council and was placed in the pet clinic. Your brother took them because he felt sorry for them...

I thought "Owh.. How nice of him.."

But then a few weeks after that, when I was in the Peninsular, I received a call from my mom. She sound delighted and I know from that tone of voice she has got with her a pleasant news. I just woke up at that time...

Mommy: Dik, your bro just brought home some cats again. They're so0o0o0o0 cute!!!!

Gg: Owh.... Ok...

Mommy: They were about to be left at the dumpsite and your brother felt sorry for them and took them home~

Gg: Owh.... Typically him~ How many are they???

Mommy: NINE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gg: Hah!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????????? BANYAKNYA!!!!!!!!!!!


I thought my brother had lost his sanity.. I imagined all the nine cats to be handicapped like the others... But then, they were not. They were surprisingly clean and well-mannered. They pass stools in the toilet and that makes it easier for us.. They're so adorable and lovable to0!!! hehe

But seriously he really have to cut this habit of bringing home stray cats or our house will be like...

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Pouring Feelings: PRP and relocating~

Honestly, my nerve was quite a wrecking havoc in the past few weeks; since the day we first heard the news that we were to report for duty on 1st July. At that time I was still in my 'adventure' mood, lying rather merrily on Shifaa's bed. After the news reached us, I sensed an unusual rattling in Shifaa's speech while I was rather relaxed, expressionless and was staring blankly at the ceiling~


I really think something is wrong with my sense of emergency switch. I've never had the ability to show that I'm actually disturbed deep within. It is as if the glands supposedly secreting adrenaline are clogged and as if the nodes on my heart is put into default that the rhythm seem to be uniform even at times when it should be beating faster.


But today, all the worries and distress that have been bearing on me are finally lifted. My attachment place was officially announced by the deputy director of the Bahagian Farmasi~ Yep! It's the place that I've hoped for, Queen Elizabeth Hospital. I know I'd requested to be sent to the Peninsular when I submitted the form months ago. But in such short notice to report for duty, I really don't favour hustling around to relocate myself in a new place.

I'm very glad that everything went smoothly today. Everybody was warm, polite and very helpful to me. Alhamdulillah that the first day experience gave a good impression about my working place so now I can use the weekend to rejoice and reset my physic and mental for the coming days of me as a provisionally registered pharmacist~


Well... I'm actually 'relocating' to0, in some way~ Since my parents divorce, I've stayed with my mom and only visit babah during school holidays. During my years in the university, I actually spend a lot of time travelling back and forth from mom's place to babah's; trying my best to equally allocate my time for both my beloveds~ Mom was quite upset at first when I told her Labuan Hospital is not listed as the hospital for the 1 year training.. She said

"You know how I feel..?? It's like I've planted a tree in a piece of land.. Water it everyday.. Fertilized it when necessary... And when it's time to harvest, someone
else reaped all the fruits~"


Hohoho!!! If your mom says something like this, how would you feel??? Me??? My eyes was already brimming with tears but I manage to fight it back~


"Mommy.. It's not that someone else reaped all the fruits.. Your tree is moved into a bigger land for it to grow and grow and grow... This is so so that it'll be able to produce more fruits... When it's time to harvest, the fruits will not only be for the person who planted it, but even enough for imports~ Even when it is in a new piece of land, still the gardener will get her royalty,right??"


That's the best answer I could give... It's really different between here and Labuan, you know.. During weekdays, eventhough mom and abang are tired after work, they'll still have time for chat and laughter at night.. During weekends, we would roam around the island or sometimes go for picnic with my uncle's family or visit Nurul at school or visit other relative or etc.. There are just too many options for activities there compared to here.. Here, it's all quiet and they sleep early too; leaving me alone with TV and friends in the cyberspace~ I'll try my best to adapt.. Or maybe I can introduce to them the joyful life of Labuan hehe


I'm well aware that babah and umie are also trying their best to make me feel really at home here. I mentioned to babah that I needed another bookshelf and guess what, he bought it for me PRONTO! And that sure makes me very happy... This simply means that I have space for NEW books!!!! I'm very excited about it that I feel like putting the pics here hehe

At mom's house, I've another one; full with books that there are actually two rows of books in one compartment =) see the pic on the left, the row at the top shelf is already doubled!

So I guess that's all.. Wow! quite long~ Don't expect anybody to read till the end because I just need to pour this mix of feelings.. Now~Lets pray \\(".)


Ya Rabb, I beseech you to hear the pleads from all our hearts.
Light us in our journey to Your path and bestow upon us the remembrance of You in all our daily activities..
Grant us the discipline, the health and the strength to perform our duty..
May all of us be reminded to be earnest and honest in al our dealings..
Guide us in our search for 'ilm and may it always be for Your sake and the ummah... Ameen~

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Palestine.. From Beirut to Jerusalem~

This is a book I borrowed from Shifaa. She sort of dug this out from her library to show it to me after the Mavi marmara incident. I sort of delayed reading it since I was trying to finish one of the shopaholic series. But once I start leafing through the pages of the book, I just couldn't get it off my hands~ This book made hot tears running down my cheeks...







This book is actually the account of a doctor's experience while she was working in Beirut as a volunteer in one of the hospital near Sabra and Shatilla. She came to Lebanon amidst a devastating war and when she first set foot on the camps, she was flabbergasted by the aura of agony waft around the refugee camps.. In the middle of the war, the surronding was etched with potholes from bombs, grenades and shells... The homes of the Palestinians and other buildings were reduced into rubbles and ruins.. There were even stench from dead bodies..







Ceasefire was established after the evacuation of the 'terrorists' from Beirut. Only the women, children and old folks were left and the evacuation gave promise to new hope and reconstruction of life. Believing this, the Palestinians left in Sabra and Shatilla gave up their weapons to the authority for the sake of peace. 3 days after rebuilding the camps, a group of militants thrust their way into the camps and start their massacre. Women and children were herd in a stadium and shot dead~ Pool of blood were everywhere; even the newly painted walls are now smeared with the red colour of blood. They were unable to resist for all the strong men were already shove off from the land~





The author described how terrible she felt for not being able to do anything about it. She was kept hostage in the hospital where she was working. Discomfited by the sounds of shots and exploding bombs outside, she waited in horror for the time to be released and face the aftermath of the atrocity.

The most touching part would be the part where she described the kindness, hospitality, generosity and the strength of the Palestinians. She often wonder where did the Palestinians acquire such resilience and perseverance. Everytime war broke, everything they've built were crumbled but the Palestinians always could reconstruct almost immediately after the war ends at an incredible speed.

In the book, the author often mention the incredible people she encountered. Palestinians, Lebanese, dedicated volunteer workers who come from various countries and of various religions and beliefs. I was so touched by their unshaken spirit to uphold the rights of the Palestinians.

A mourning mother who'd loss her family said this..

"We will get back our homeland. Not too soon.. Not too late.. But just in time"

And I was very moved by the hospitals motto

"Treat friends and enemy alike"

And this was proved in an incident where the doctor refused to treat Israeli soldiers and a Palestinian counterpart of hers came to her and said,

"They may have killed my forefathers and my family members, but still they have the rights to have our treatment"

I also admire how the Palestinians accept the deaths of their fighters and honoured them as heroes and never as defeat.. When a war ends, the living children would stand together and held their hands up high and some making peace signs with their hands for they've survived the war.





I really think I should stop now hehe I'm very excited about this book that if I don't stop now, I'll end up writing another book about this book in here hehe



so this book is highly recommended! O yeah~ actually the author tells about her visits in 1982, 1985 and 1987 but I only highlighted the story about Sabra and Shatilla in 1982 so I saved all the suspense about other massacres of the later years~





O0o0o0 Palestine~



*am thinking of buying this book for my own collection =)

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