Wednesday, June 28, 2017

How stupid of me...

Bismillah...

This is a story of me being so stupid...

MR arrived in Oslo 3 days later than me and that day she was already late for breakfast. Her bag was lost during the connecting flight and it was snowing heavily outside, so we just lie on our beds and chatted.

MR asked, "Ramai ke orang mase breakfast..?"
"Ramai jugak.. Tapi kan.. Ramai orang tue.. Sampai at one point tu Gg seriusly ingatkan Gg kat rumah orang tua.."

And MR found my statement was very true the next day. During dinner we found ourselves surrounded by elderly..

"Ya Allah Mar.. Pakcik depan Gg ni tangan bergegar sampai tak boleh koyak paket gule. Patot ke kite tolong die.."
"Ish selalu ramai jugak jumpe orang tue.. Tapi ni tue yang tak berdaye ok!"
"Tu la.. Ni bukan tahap mak ayah kite.. Ni tahap tok nenek kte yang dah takde kot.. Omaigod Gg rase pacik ni ade masalah paru-paru.. bunyi nafas die pun tau.."
"Eyh ramai sangat ni.."
"Ke ade rumah orang tue kat area ni and tompang makan sini.."

We never found our answer...

On our way to the airport to go to Svalbard, an elderly woman board the bus and sat next to me. She was so old that I think she should be around late 80s. Her face and hands were all wrinkled, she had a roundback and her hands were trembling vigorously that it was hard for her to zip open her purse. I watched her try to put money into her purse which also looked like she was putting a lot of effort.

"Do you need some help..??" I asked. She replied me in Norwegian with a smile and continued talking even though I think she knew I can't understand her.

And there were subsequent events in which we saw a down syndrome lady who travelled alone from Tromso to a small village before Narvik and a wheelchair bound woman who travelled alone from Narvik To Bødø.

From my story, it's clear that Norway is travel friendly for people with special needs. But how does all these encounter brings to the topic of me being stupid...??? I was stupid to have thought that 30 was where all the fun and adventure should cease, where I should contain my curiousity, be stationary  and learn to be content with slow pace and everything familiar. And there I was in Norway, watching all these people who had the strongest of reasons to stay put but didn't.

Perhaps I was somewhat affected by one particular 'voice' that kept on pressing me about being single for too long makes one unworthy. I allowed this 'voice' to shroud my clear conscience about life and thank God I snapped out of it!

20's was like dark chocolate, I said. The sweet taste were the memories made while the bitter were the mistakes. The good; the  lessons learned are the things that makes the rest of the years to come be better, InshaAllah. 30's is not the reason to slow down, I finally figured out. It's time to 'speed up' because we are actually running out of time..

It's time to spend more time with our parents because they will not be around forever. Perhaps, I haven't got the means to make them live in luxury, but I'm trying my best to make life easy and comfortable for both of them. Perhaps I haven't been  given the chance to 'complete half  of my deen'.  But as I once said to a bestfriend of mine, "Takkan lah pahala berbakti dengan orang yang lahirkan kita dan jaga kita dari kecil tu lebih sedikit dari pahala berbakti dekat suami...??"

It's time to chase our dreams even the forgotten ones. I've always dreamt of travelling. As a child, I love climbing the small hill near my house and would start thinking of going abroad for adventures. Thus, I studied English diligently because mommy said if I can speak well, I can talk to anybody in this world. Traveling is not a forgotten dream. The abandoned dream of mine is my wish to study foreign languages other than English. I wanted to pursue on language after school but studying in a Science stream school and performing well in the science subjects prevented me from that. I always felt stuck although I've learnt to love my job (perhaps because healthcare gives you daily opportunity for act of service). Ever since I realized that it will never be too late to chase my forgotten dreams, I've become even happier with my day job (^^)

30s is not the time to cut off enjoyment and stop gaining experience, but it's time to do so in a more sensible and responsible manner that despite of still having all the fun, we still remember to take care of oursleves and not be drifted away. Have more savings and more money to spend for loved ones rather than splurged for our own wants.

After I came back from Norway, I've realized that aging is not the reason to totally abandon life and just exist. It's not the reason to just wake up, earn for a living, eat and sleep. Instead, it's the reason why one should be more mentally and physically active. There is no such thing as "I'm too old for this...". While we might not be as strong or as fit as the youngsters, but WE STILL CAN!

For instance MR and I drove on ice at 31 while the pakcik2 aviation investigators does that with us in their 50s!

Really.. how stupid of me and I'm just happy to be enlightened in Norway...

Whatever it is, in 2017 I will only accept marriage proposal from G-Dragon or Song Joong-Ki. Period!

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