Monday, April 11, 2016

#1 April 2016

Bismillah...

Tersentuh...

After a few soft knocks,  I twisted the door knob and walked myself into the room without waiting for a permission to come in. The guy on the first bed gave me an impassive look and went back to looking at his phone. I moved to the next bed which was hidden behind the orange curtain.

There he was, sitting on the floor on his prayer mat. His hands raised in prayer. I paused and waited for him to finish. We chat a little. I asked him where is he staying,  who is coming to get him,  is he working or still studying and talked about my stuffs; the drugs...

It's easy to judge based on what is briefly written in one's social history. But,  I realized those few lines doesn't define his whole life. That's just one of his mistake that have made him ended this way. Watching him pray moved me. He is facing many uncertainties; he knows very well what he is put on is suboptimal. And there is chance for failure. Perhaps,  I wouldn' t know if that one particular prayer that I saw is more sincere than the hundreds that I've done.

Terasa...

When I was a kid, some kids teased me because my parents got divorced. It happened when I was very young so none of the other kids' parents were divorced (yet). My parents tried their best to raise me lovingly despite living separately. I never felt deprived of love at all in my entire life and I think I grow up just fine..

But,  I guess even at this age being someone who has a complex family tree is a taboo. I just dont understand and I feel it's unfair to be judged by what's not even my fault to begin with. Just because my family went on different courses in life, doesn't mean we are bad people. That was our fate,  that was our test. What matters is we went throught it just fine~

I almost ask,  "Do I look like I'm someone who was raised in a bad environment and surrounded by bad people...?" but I held my tongue because I haven't seen the person in front of me for months and I was happy to see that person.