Tuesday, August 18, 2015

This has got to change!

Tell you what, I've been using this same template since 2009. So now I'm very determined to change this. My skills are of course rusty these days so it will take me some time to do this 

Thus, please bear with all the weird weird changes I will be making because there are going to be a lot of trial ans error going on heeeeee

Sunday, August 16, 2015

From Two to Three~


I predicted I'll be all knocked out and weary tonight. I went back to my hometown over the weekend for Mom's open house on the last day of Eidul Fitr and end up doing all the preparation single-handedly because Mom was constantly busy running around doing errands and big bro was called for duty. Today, I woke up early to clean up the mess from yesterday, cooked lunch because Mom thought it would be wonderful to have Ambuyat with Ucu's family before I go back, prepared for my nephew's Jamuan Hari Raya and lastly drove 2 hours from Menumbok to KK... Fuh! I can't imagine doing this every day haha But I think it will be fine if minus the 2 hours drive...

I think my current hyperactivity has got to do with the coffee I took at 3 pm plus the durian upon my arrival at home (^^") Usually, my energy would have been wrung out of me and I'll just lay down and watch the fan spin on the ceiling~

Anyway, BFF was the last to come last night so we were just chilling around in the living room with cakes and syrup. Our main topic was how we have  immensely changed from our early twenties now that we're turning ehem ehem~ *not going to finish this sentence*

They were recollecting this hang out they had 2 weeks ago while I was in Japan. On Saturday, which was supposed to be the 'main' hang out day, they had to go out quite late because there was some interior designing going on at my friend's house so they had to wait until it was done. Surprisingly, despite going out late, they went back before 10 pm which was impossible during our early 20's. Those days, we were moving from one restaurant to another when the later closes and won't be home until it was about 3 am.

Well, the conversation was sort of stuck in my head today and I was evaluating what have changed every and now then as the day goes by today..

As I was sweeping the kitchen floor this morning, I thought that at this age you start to take your responsibility more seriously than before. In other words, you need not to be told what to do that much anymore, you KNOW what you have to do and you do it. For instance, in the past, I would've delayed the cleanup or just leave it to Mom since I'd done my part which was cooking. But looking at her white hairs; which were not there before and how she gets tired easily than before made me feel obliged that even though I'm drained to my very core, I have the urge to finish everything off and make it easier for her so in what very limited time I had, I just move around, systematically multitasked and delegate some of the easier jobs to my niece and nephew (^^)

And then I noticed that my temperament is somewhat more calm and collected when faced with difficult situations or even people. Recently, I got into some misunderstanding with a person in which  I find it hard to work out because the other party seem to be reluctant to discuss it out. This particular person was giving cold shoulder at one time and suddenly this person will be okay and then cold again and I just can't figure out what was going on. In addition, at the same time I had to handle another person who was, I say was not careful with words.. Yes that's the most polite way I could think of to describe it. Of course, in my point of view, I see that I was not treated fairly. If there was something wrong, it should be discussed and should not be kept quiet and not corrected until things worsened. I'm the type who can handle and appreciate honesty and I think the thing that had caused this discord was flimsy.. Even foolish, yes..

In the past, I would have poured at them a good amount of harsh remarks to their faces. But these days, I realize doing so doesn't give back anything to me except bad reputation. Thus, I only cried in exchange of the bad remarks and then remain silent and calm thereafter hahaha and as a mature adult, you start to recognize which relationship to keep and which one to let go no matter how precious it was to you before especially when you've done your part to mend it.

When it comes to driving, even when you still love speed, you will start to appreciate cruising at medium speed, that's like maximum 90 km/h. And this actually rather justified and sensible in this era with no oil subsidy haha But of course I still can be a daring driver when I have to~

And when it comes to going out, you are more objective. This happens to my cousin and me where previously we need no reason to go out. Like, lets just go out because we have nothing else to do. Nowadays, we just enjoy being at home so much. There must be something important to get or maybe some special food that we crave to get us to start the engine and go somewhere. And this helps me a lot with my financial and of course my travel (^^)

And when it comes to love, even though you are haunted with social ideals where people will start to scare you that you're almost 'there' and there will be risk in pregnancy or your 'saham' will start to drop. Again, you'll still be calm and collected because you know this kind of thing is the work of the Creator who had ordained the person for you and when exactly you will meet him or her, am I right? There is no way to make it happen faster so until the time comes, I will try to be the best version of myself because now I know being married is not merely 'happily ever after' but it is actually 'alam yang memerlukan sabar'. And I don't believe in such thing as "I can never love another person more than him~" hahaha because to me, despite of heart breaks (twice for me), you will eventually learn to love the person who is meant for you and even greater than the love to the ones you have to let go...

And lastly, this evening I decided to get some hair bands, an air freshener and some takoyaki.. And I got home with just that.. Oh yes~ I've become a very sensible shopper with prove hahaha

Selamat Malam~