Saturday, December 26, 2015

....Topik Bosan....


“Apakah cinta sejati itu? Maka jawabannya, dalam kasus kau ini, cinta sejati adalah melepaskan. Semakin sejati perasaan itu, maka semakin tulus kau melepaskannya...Aku tahu kau akan protes, bagaimana mungkin? Kita bilang cinta itu sejati, tapi kita justru melepaskannya? Tapi inilah rumus terbalik yang tidak pernah dipahami oleh pecinta. Mereka tidak pernah mau mencoba memahami penjelasannya.” 

“Lepaskanlah. Maka besok lusa, jika dia cinta sejatimu, dia pasti akan kembali dengan cara mengagumkan. Ada saja takdir hebat yang tercipta untuk kita. Jika dia tidak kembali, maka sederhana jadinya, itu bukan cinta sejatimu. Hei, kisah-kisah cinta di dalam buku itu, di dongeng-dongeng cinta, atau hikayat orang tua, itu semua ada penulisnya.
Tetapi kisah cinta kau, siapa penulisnya? Allah. Penulisnya adalah pemilik cerita paling sempurna di muka bumi. Tidakkah sedikit saja kau mau meyakini bahwa kisah kau pastilah yang terbaik yang dituliskan.” 

"Orang-orang yang merindu, namun tetap menjaga kehormatan perasaannya, takut sekali berbuat dosa, memilih senyap, terus memperbaiki diri hingga waktu memberikan kabar baik, boleh jadi doa-doanya menguntai tangga yang indah hingga ke langit. Kalaupun tidak dengan yang dirindukan, boleh jadi diganti yang lebih baik"

I just discovered this cool author from Sumatera whose writing kind of resonate with me.. Eseh! 

I was reading an old post back from 2012 just now...

"After all these years, I learnt to stand again. I manage to collect love, trust and hope from where I've dropped them and placed them along with honesty, loyalty, patience and respect in a small box. I wrapped it and tied a nice pink ribbon to it.. It's a small gift but very dear to me that I don't want it to be in the wrong hands. I'm waiting for that someone who can accept me for who I am, who has the urge to go extra mile and get what's behind the door. I'll hand him the gift in hope that what's inside can grow and grow while they're in his hands. I'll be patiently waiting.. And while I wait, I won't waste my time feeling sorry for myself and fret. I have the whole world to explore! I want to see the small, medium size and big wonders of the world while I am still able to and given the chance to because I'll never know when it'll be taken away from me again..."

Typically, as years passed, the 'question' didn't really subside. It gotten more intense, even from strangers. It's just that I adapted to it so much that I don't bother anymore. My cousin who just turned 26 said to me, "Kenapala jodoh kita lambat ni ah?" I shrugged and told her I don't really think about it anymore because I know it's not in my control.. 

I still don't like it when people assumed that I'm being too choosy. Well, I have the right to choose wisely and not succumb to anything less than what I deserve just for the sake of having someone in my life. One thing I noticed is that those who saw how I crumbled  years ago seem to understand me better.. One of my ex room mate text me. "Choose wisely.. In marriage it's not always rainbows, GG" But having people giving you a list of names of potential suitors is not as painful as when someone you really like so much said it, though. It has always been in my nature to keep myself in a safe distance between someone that I'm fond of.  I'm not the type who play around. And it has always been in my nature to let go and not force it if it's not mutual. I don't mind losing early in a battle that I might eventually lose.   Because..

"Jika berjodoh, Tuhan sendiri yang akan memberikan jalan baiknya. Termasuk "kebetulan-kebetulan' yang menakjubkan."

Sunday, December 20, 2015

Do not waver...
Even when you're in pain...
It's only painful... When it's true...
And if it's true...
Put Allah first~



The thing about the broken, she has so much to give.. But she kept it sealed until the time comes when the right peson finally walk into the broken's life...

Yet,  when someone won a special place in her heart, and it's not meant to be, the past also taught her that it's okay to give without expecting anything in return because fate is not something that she can control...

Being wise can hurt a little,  but most of the time letting go is the best choice one can ever make... If you really love something,  let it go.. If it returns, it has always meant to be yours.. If it doesn't, it means it's never yours at the first place..

It's not easy....

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Of passion.. and of true love~


Just can't believe what I'm seeing in my archive... This year's post is down to only 13 including this one! I sure had a very bad writer's block, didn't I? I don't know what happened.. It's either I'm lack inspiration or I don't have enough emotion to write. I know it's not so much of from fear that my writing lack substance nor do I think it was not good enough.. Perhaps I'm more conscious if this blog get discovered in this era where things easily get viral. And where independent opinion easily get bombarded by over reactive netizens (what they call people on the internet nowadays)

My passion for writing has always been the same. I still get lost in thoughts and start to mentally structure the words in my head amidst meaningful occasions. But that's where they are kept; just in my head. Or as draft in the blog's dashboard; that's as far as the words went.. I don't know what held me back every time I finish writing something... They just never get published anymore..

I have longed to share what it's like in my life these days. I still go back to my writings in the past and love to remind myself what kind of person I was back then. How I was in university, how I was when I first started working.. And the only thing that's missing from this blog is who I am now. Just the infrequent updates on where I went and vague descriptions of things that disturbs me at work.. And for this post I will still be vague in fear of being offensive. This is my point of view, based on my values, belief and conscience~

A few years ago I've written somewhere in this blog how I was afraid to exit my 'regulated' world. I was, for years, in places surrounded by an environment that teaches me how to differentiate between what's good and bad, places with designed routines such that it is full of fruitful activities and more or less ibadah, places where friends who would remind me if I'm astray was in abundance. Although, I have to admit that it took quite some time for the good things to be ingrained, but I think I turned out well. I was afraid to enter the 'real' world where things are not as ideal it was before. But it seems that, I'm still blessed to still be on the 'bleachers' as an audience most of the times. And when it was my turn to play in this game called life, I'm always blessed again to leave the field with minor injuries.

It was a twist of fate that brings me to where I am now. An accident in my working place got me transferred to a place where the rest of my colleague dreaded. I was the most junior at that time so it was easy to be cast off to a place where nobody wants. I felt lonesome.. I was afraid.. Well, I had to face dying people the first thing in the morning in my old working place. I would eye the dying patients at the corner of my eyes and would discretely guess which one of them is going to go first. Not to play God, just a mind game of the younger version of me. I was okay with that. But at the new place, the people there look.. hurm plagued.. And I thought all of them must have done something really bad in this life to be punished with such ailment.. I even went to see my boss to ask her whether she is sure to put a girl like me at the scary place.. Yes, I used that exact word 'scary place'. Until one day..

I started off without a proper training. I was told it was going to be easy and straightforward. I was given a list of things that should be mentioned during my counseling and that's it.

"You're going to be put on a lifelong treatment. If you don't comply, we don't have many other medications if you fail treatment due to your own negligence.." I would say in my very formal tone. In the first few weeks, I did as I was told.. STRAIGHTFORWARD.. My sessions lasted for about 15 minutes and that's it... But then, I got really really bored. There were very few patients around and very few of them started on treatment so I have very few things to do other than chat with my assistant. So one day I decided to try to build rapport with them. I thought maybe I could actually learn something more from them rather than just them learning from me. I was very curious of how they have got it.. How they actually feel deep down especially those that are not so lucky and only buying time..

That fateful evening, I was called to see a woman in her mid 30's. To my surprise, her room was full of kids, about 6 of them, and I had to ask all the children to wait at the lobby so I could have some private time with the mother. I started off with a friendly tone that evening, asking her first about the children. She has 10 children actually and the youngest was about 1 year old at that time and still on breastfeed. It's only natural to ask about the husband, isn't it? And that's when I found that she was a victim... She went on and on about what happened to her for the past few years; neglected and left with a disease that could not be cured. She shared her insecurities. She was the breadwinner of the family and the question that broke my heart the most was when she asked..

"Boleh kah saya jual mi dan air lagi? Saya nda mau orang kena sakit saya.. Sengsara.. Tapi itu saja yang saya boleh buat untuk sara anak-anak. Saya tiada pelajaran.."

That one particular counseling session changed my perception entirely. This particular woman taught me that behind every face, there's a story. And whatever the story might be, I'm not in a position to judge. But I'm in the position for their relief and comfort just by listening. And then from listening to their stories is actually the key that guides us to tailor our treatment based on their unique situations.

Sadly, this woman story didn't end happily.. She came back to us a few months later and I went to see her to assess her compliance.. She was already blind due to an infection in her brain.
"Kakak... Masih ingat saya..??"
"Ya.. Doktor ubat kan?? Minta maaf doktor.. Saya tiada duit mau ambil ubat.. Jadi saya berhenti makan.."

The feeling that I had when I heard what she said was indescribable. I know I shouldn't be personally and emotionally affected by my patients but when I went home that evening, I thought I haven't done enough. I know that I was not the person to be blamed that she became like that. But deep down I felt like there's something down the line that I could've at least try to do to avoid that. If it's not for her perhaps those that I will meet in the future...

So here I am after 3 years... Guess what, somewhere in between, I actually went to see my boss again and asked to be fully in charge of them. My boss was surprised, of course; the same person who asked her whether she was sure to send a girl to be in charged on about 32 patients is now asking to be in charged on every single individual with the disease here. I remember her asking, "Betol ni?" three times!

Honestly, sometimes I do get overwhelmed..
Like when I'm faced with people who lose hope to an extend that I actually asked, "Please tell me how we can help you~"

Times when I'm faced with people who made wrong choices in life.. Especially those with good religious backgrounds and good education.. But I would tell myself, this is Allah's mercy in disguise.. Ailments wipe away sins~ And what matters is the future and not the past... I silently pray that these people make use the 2nd chance wisely...

I'm most overwhelmed when I see a parent or a spouse at the bedside.. To me it shows that, even the choices that we make as an adult will affect others. But we rarely thought about that, don't we? We thought we are the only one accountable for the choices we make.. How wrong that is..

But as I look at these people, besides learning about compassion and feeling grateful for what I'm blessed with, I learned something else.. I learned how to recognize true love... How we are wrong about it's true form. Perhaps I can't deny at the early stage of love (in which it often comes with this thing called infatuation) we might feel slightly out of control and overly excited. But in it's true form, true love knows no boundaries..

I saw them in the acts and faces of the people at the bedside, you know.. How they faithfully sit there and let time passed.. Sometimes holding hands.. Sometimes I heard them whispering words of encouragements, even to those who are barely conscious from brain infections.. I saw them do the same thing day in day out; bathing and feeding their loved ones, changing diapers, shifting the positions of the bedridden to avoid bedsores... Once I wonder, how great is the depth of their patience to continue doing all these laborious stuffs for someone who perhaps have wronged them before...? And the chance of recovery for some is very slim even...

But perhaps that's the true form of love.. Or true love.. It's calm and kind.. It's continuously doing the mundane but necessary for the beloved.. And even if the chance of survival is slim, who cares, true love is free...

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

This has got to change!

Tell you what, I've been using this same template since 2009. So now I'm very determined to change this. My skills are of course rusty these days so it will take me some time to do this 

Thus, please bear with all the weird weird changes I will be making because there are going to be a lot of trial ans error going on heeeeee

Sunday, August 16, 2015

From Two to Three~


I predicted I'll be all knocked out and weary tonight. I went back to my hometown over the weekend for Mom's open house on the last day of Eidul Fitr and end up doing all the preparation single-handedly because Mom was constantly busy running around doing errands and big bro was called for duty. Today, I woke up early to clean up the mess from yesterday, cooked lunch because Mom thought it would be wonderful to have Ambuyat with Ucu's family before I go back, prepared for my nephew's Jamuan Hari Raya and lastly drove 2 hours from Menumbok to KK... Fuh! I can't imagine doing this every day haha But I think it will be fine if minus the 2 hours drive...

I think my current hyperactivity has got to do with the coffee I took at 3 pm plus the durian upon my arrival at home (^^") Usually, my energy would have been wrung out of me and I'll just lay down and watch the fan spin on the ceiling~

Anyway, BFF was the last to come last night so we were just chilling around in the living room with cakes and syrup. Our main topic was how we have  immensely changed from our early twenties now that we're turning ehem ehem~ *not going to finish this sentence*

They were recollecting this hang out they had 2 weeks ago while I was in Japan. On Saturday, which was supposed to be the 'main' hang out day, they had to go out quite late because there was some interior designing going on at my friend's house so they had to wait until it was done. Surprisingly, despite going out late, they went back before 10 pm which was impossible during our early 20's. Those days, we were moving from one restaurant to another when the later closes and won't be home until it was about 3 am.

Well, the conversation was sort of stuck in my head today and I was evaluating what have changed every and now then as the day goes by today..

As I was sweeping the kitchen floor this morning, I thought that at this age you start to take your responsibility more seriously than before. In other words, you need not to be told what to do that much anymore, you KNOW what you have to do and you do it. For instance, in the past, I would've delayed the cleanup or just leave it to Mom since I'd done my part which was cooking. But looking at her white hairs; which were not there before and how she gets tired easily than before made me feel obliged that even though I'm drained to my very core, I have the urge to finish everything off and make it easier for her so in what very limited time I had, I just move around, systematically multitasked and delegate some of the easier jobs to my niece and nephew (^^)

And then I noticed that my temperament is somewhat more calm and collected when faced with difficult situations or even people. Recently, I got into some misunderstanding with a person in which  I find it hard to work out because the other party seem to be reluctant to discuss it out. This particular person was giving cold shoulder at one time and suddenly this person will be okay and then cold again and I just can't figure out what was going on. In addition, at the same time I had to handle another person who was, I say was not careful with words.. Yes that's the most polite way I could think of to describe it. Of course, in my point of view, I see that I was not treated fairly. If there was something wrong, it should be discussed and should not be kept quiet and not corrected until things worsened. I'm the type who can handle and appreciate honesty and I think the thing that had caused this discord was flimsy.. Even foolish, yes..

In the past, I would have poured at them a good amount of harsh remarks to their faces. But these days, I realize doing so doesn't give back anything to me except bad reputation. Thus, I only cried in exchange of the bad remarks and then remain silent and calm thereafter hahaha and as a mature adult, you start to recognize which relationship to keep and which one to let go no matter how precious it was to you before especially when you've done your part to mend it.

When it comes to driving, even when you still love speed, you will start to appreciate cruising at medium speed, that's like maximum 90 km/h. And this actually rather justified and sensible in this era with no oil subsidy haha But of course I still can be a daring driver when I have to~

And when it comes to going out, you are more objective. This happens to my cousin and me where previously we need no reason to go out. Like, lets just go out because we have nothing else to do. Nowadays, we just enjoy being at home so much. There must be something important to get or maybe some special food that we crave to get us to start the engine and go somewhere. And this helps me a lot with my financial and of course my travel (^^)

And when it comes to love, even though you are haunted with social ideals where people will start to scare you that you're almost 'there' and there will be risk in pregnancy or your 'saham' will start to drop. Again, you'll still be calm and collected because you know this kind of thing is the work of the Creator who had ordained the person for you and when exactly you will meet him or her, am I right? There is no way to make it happen faster so until the time comes, I will try to be the best version of myself because now I know being married is not merely 'happily ever after' but it is actually 'alam yang memerlukan sabar'. And I don't believe in such thing as "I can never love another person more than him~" hahaha because to me, despite of heart breaks (twice for me), you will eventually learn to love the person who is meant for you and even greater than the love to the ones you have to let go...

And lastly, this evening I decided to get some hair bands, an air freshener and some takoyaki.. And I got home with just that.. Oh yes~ I've become a very sensible shopper with prove hahaha

Selamat Malam~

Saturday, June 13, 2015

Tanzania Part I


Greetings from Istanbul! (^^)/
Yes, I'm writing this in Istanbul. Got some free time to relax my sore feet while waiting for Maghrib prayer so I decided to write a bit about our Tanzania trip on June 2014. Hehe mo setahun bha baru tulis kaaannnn

Anyway, I've written about our preparation in another post. I will make a label for Tanzania later.

So, it all started with a lot of emails between me and the manager. The route actually goes like this

KL-Qatar-Dares Salam-Kilimanjaro Airport

Dares Salam Airport

Actually,  we can reach the Kilimanjaro region by bus which takes around 10 hours with a much cheaper price than flight ticket but due to time constraints,  we opt to take Fastjet which cost us RM 331 return ticket.

To be honest, I didn't know what to expect in Tanzania. Having heard a lot about violence in the continent, I had misleading impression about the people there. When we arrived, most of the people were staring at us and we felt somewhat frightened.  But after a few days, after several encounters of people who can't even tell where we were from when they try to guess where we were from and some have never heard about our country, we then knew that the only reason they were staring was they never see people like us. They stare because  they were just curious. I refused to roll down my window when a walking vendor wanted to talk to us.. I still feel bad about it.. We did chat with him through a very tiny opening of the car window (^^")

Our tour package includes airport pickup so there was a man holding a paper with my name written on it when we arrived. It took more than an hour to get to our hotel but I enjoyed the journey very much. Another thing that surprised me was Tanzania is so green and along the way you can see sunflowers. There were sunflower field everywhere!

Sunflowers~ Sorry la jeep kami laju banget~

We stayed in Panama hotel which is also included in the package. It's very basic but clean and cozy. They had free breakfast where you can choose from the menu. Ada satu lagi yang buat aku rasa bersalah. I was looking at the buffet breakfast and was opening the covers of every pans they placed on the counter before deciding which one to take.  Tiba-tiba tu waitress tanya, "Dirty?"

I was surprised, of course. Lalu aku pon menjawab, "No. Not at all. I was just looking. And not yet decide.."

I don't know if she saw me frowned or anything but it didn't cross my mind at all if the prepared food was dirty. I was just curious how African cuisine will look like (^^")

Anyway, Stephan picked us up that morning at the hotel and we met our cook, Edi. We head for Tarangire National Park that day. It was our second day in Tanzania and masih  sakai2 lagi kan. We saw this guy at the side of the road, bare-skinned, and his face and body was painted with white stripes and dots. Dan aku yang tekejot ni pon bertanya, "What's that?" because I just can't believe what I saw since the jeep was zooming in full speed on the highway. Then Stephan told me, that was a Masai who just got circumcised waiting to become a warrior. And RA and I went 'Ooooooo'

And then there were people walking on the side of the road all the time, even in deserted places where there were no houses, no farms, no grazing field, no crops, no nothing. "Where are these people going? I didn't see any village for the past.. hurm.. perhaps 20 km" Then Stephan explained that these people might have been walking since morning from places many kilometres away from their villages. They prefer to walk and  if it gets too late they might hitch hike. Another 'Ooooooo' from the back seat...

K la nanti ai sambung :p

Sunday, May 31, 2015

\(^^)/ End of Eurotrip Chapter III


Alhamdulillah.. We just finished another Eurotrip and this time we covered the Balkan region.. Currently I'm on transit in Qatar; waiting for our flight to KL.. So the route goes like this...

Istanbul, Turkey -> Athens, Greece -> Thessaloniki, Greece -> Tirana, Albania -> Kotor, Montenegro -> Mostar, Bosnia -> Sarajevo, Bosnia -> Zagreb,Croatia

Dan tercapai suda impian aku pi Bosnia (^^)

Nantila I update.. Sebab banyak drama la kali ni hahaha

I already wrote some posts about Tanzania but yet to be posted because I need my laptop to upload the pics.

One more trip this year and then aku akan meroyan~ meroyan~ meroyan~ T_T

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Short Trip to Cebu, Philippines


I haven't got time for any updates these days. Or sometimes I'll just write half way and stopped because I feel it wasn't good enough. I used to write during the wee hours during my study years; 3 am was my best time to write. But for the past few years, I wouldn't even have the energy to watch anime after work... I sound so old~

Looking at my posts about trips being so close to each other in this blog make it seem like as if I don't work at all haha Recently, I went to Cebu, Philippines for a short break during the long weekends of Labour day and Wesak. The idea was Mr. A's. Text him one morning asking if he has any travel plans for the long weekend and he replied "Tu la.. Macam nak pegi Cebu. Canyoning.." Voila! We got ourselves the tickets and got some other people to tag along. He did all the planning and booking and my role was only to print our boarding passes hehehe sanang hidop ai~

The flight from KK was actually scheduled at 6pm but was delayed for 2 hours so we arrived in Cebu at around 10.30 pm. It was a short flight, only 1 hour 50 minutes so it's really worth the amount we paid for the return ticket; RM 256.

I think, swimming with whale shark is like a must in everybody's itinerary. But I'm not that eager to do this again here. I don't quite like the overcrowded beach. And then the place is so noisy that you can't even hear the sound of waves. Everything was a hassle. Here, they'll take  tourists on a huge row boat that I think could accommodate about 20 people in each trip. Then there will be like 3 to 4 men rowing the boat towards where the whale shark is fed. And as for the divers, we walk into the sea from shore and I don't like that either because it's bad for my knee and the tank is extremely heavy and it felt like my vertebrae was about to collapse hehehe

Despite of all the things I disliked, though, I still think this is one of the most valuable diving experience. Well, I would have preferred an unexpected encounter and that will be even more elating, but this was cool enough.  I didn't expect it to be sooooo huge that I stopped breathing when the first one swam above my head. Mr S was the closest to me and I just sort of tugged his bcd. We are not supposed to stop breathing during scuba diving, you know.

It took me quite some time to get closer to this creature because the size is sooooo intimidating.  The above pic is the closest distance that we got but sadly Mr A mistakenly set the GoPro to camera mode so we only have still pics. But I got a video of myself so close to the whale shark but not as close as this but still good enough (^^)

And after diving, we went to the Tumalog waterfalls to refresh. Well, we were actually somewhat scammed by the dive company where they were suppose to take us for 3 dives but then we only got 1 dive.. But I don't want to talk about it because.. sakitnya tuh di sinih~ pedih~ hehehe

Tumalog is beautiful but again I have problem with the crowd. I didn't take a dip, though, due to personal reasons hahaha but I think it's worth the visit. You'll have to walk down a steep hill to get here, but then if you're worry about going back up, you can actually hire a motorcyclist (like ojek in Indonesia) for 30 peso.

The second activity is actually my most anticipated one. It was funny when my 2 roommates have no idea at all what we will be going through.. They thought we were going canoeing and I think their innocence was very cute

The journey is almost the same like the day before, around 2 to 3 hours drive. And our driver parked the van at a local church, got ourselves geared there and rode motorcycles to the starting point. The best thing is the adrenaline rush starts as early as the starting point where you have to jump off a cliff into the gorge. I guessed it was around at least 4 metres high. I was of course happy to jump!

It was a full day activity.. I don't know how to exactly describe it but it comprise of us jumping off cliffs (the highest would be around 6-7m), swimming in the gorge, swimming through small caves that has tiny white marble-like formations, sliding on slabs, walking on rocks and a short trek in the jungle towards the end of the activity.

The water was crystal clear. See my feet are visible there!

And at the end of it, we were served with the best food feast in the Philippines.  There was this giant grilled squid, sweet and sour fish, grilled fish, fried prawn, sauced prawn, boiled crabs, bananas, watermelon and coke! (Kalo food memang aku ingat berabis...)

And then the spare hours can be used to bath under the waterfall (^^)

We paid 300 peso for the raft. You don't need it if you can walk on water~ It's quite deep underneath the cascade and the force of the water is very strong. I gave up after a few minutes lying face down. At first it felt like a massage but later, it felt like someone was jumping on my back (^^")

I enjoyed it very much!

So for those of you who are interested to do the Canyoning,  the name of the company is  

7107 adventure and tour.

Our safety was their priority, the 2 guides were really friendly, and the food was fantastic. No complaints at all!

Pegi la pegi la pegi la! \(^^)/

Special thanks to Mr A untuk segala galanya hehe
If you read this post lah..

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Laos; Mac 2015!


 Sa bai dee from Laos!!!! (^^)/

As you can guess from my previous post, just right below this one, February and most of March haven't been the best time for me

Many things happened and one particular event even made me reevaluate my future plans and sort of got it all off course. Walaupon ada sedikit rasa mo strangle the confounding factor, but then I must be positive that there must be something good to this...

Anyway, let me tell you a little bit about this trip although we are actually just on our 3rd day 

When I said we are going to spend 8 days in Laos, people were like "What are you going to do there that long?"

Truth is 8 days is not enough unless you just wanna spend it Vientianne and Vieng vang which are less than 6 hours car journey from each other.
We opt to go to the Souhern part of Laos and currently I'm lazing in a small cafe set on the bank of Mekong River. It was raining since sunrise so here we are... 

It took us 16 hours just to get from Vientianne to Pakse. Well we wanted to take the sleeper bus at first but since we were already at the station at 11 am so we decided to take the local bus which was supposed to be a 12 hours journey.

*this part was written in Pakse*

So how did we end up spending 16 hours on the bus? Kamu tengok la tu kobis berapa banyak.. Ada motosikal lagi..
This is the most flexible bus service that I've ever encountered.  They don't only take passengers but do errands as well. We stopped many times along the way to pick up packages and parcels (^^")

And yang paling nda bole blah...Bole ni driver brenti sejam lebih to help out his friend whose bus broke down by the side of the road. Tinggi btol sikap tolong menolong...

We arrived in Pakse around 4am and surprisingly there was this hotel which has no lights on and still opened, as claimed by the driver. I was reluctant at first because the sliding door was neatly shut but when I try to slide it open, it was unlocked!

A guy was sleeping underneath a mosquito net and we woke him up... Paid $8 for a 2 single bed fan room. Showered and dozed off for a bit and hit for the 4000 islands.

Okla... Mau smayang maghrib... Will continue this when I'm free..

Monday, March 9, 2015

~Gangguan Emosi~


I'm feeling a bit emotionally unstable today due to several reasons... And I was telling myself maybe I could write something on my blog.. Who would read it anyway? But then when I looked at my recent blog traffic, there were 1000+ visit last month. Thus I will try to write this as subtle as I can.....

Part I

"She was awakened by the piercing sliver of sunlight that fell on her eyes. "I should've woke up earlier," she thought. She packed her things and set out in an easy and smooth trot. She was in no hurry to reach her destination but she wanted to start earlier on to get the glimpse of the velvet sky in the break of dawn that she love very much. She love it how the daylight victoriously claim it's place from darkness to its full glory. Turning the dark into velvet, then come the blinding tangerine and finally revealing the stunning azure. She thought that's how a human spirit should face challenges in life. Become the sun. Become her own light that uncovers the beauty that lies underneath every trial and tribulation.

Her mind drifted to the day when she faced the treacherous trader of the dessert. He was a man of power whose wants and desires cannot be denied, does whatever he please and oppresses the weak. On that fateful day, she saw a huge crowd at the entrance of the village market. Curious; she trudged her way through and found there was a woman of old age in the middle with her hands and legs tied. And next to her stood the treacherous trader of the dessert spilling words of ridicule, trampling the woman's dignity and honour. Nobody dare to interfere; the huge throng of people was only there to watch, listen and not offer help. She stepped out of the crowd into the middle of the ring and said "This has to stop!" And that was how she became an outcast. There was never a day that she regretted what she did. Because when she screamed the four words, all heads turned to her and so does the fury of the treacherous trader of the dessert. All attention was on the girl, the first ever person who stood against who is believed to be invincible..."

Part II

This one is going to be the straightforward part...
I am seriously tired of people asking me why am I not married yet... And I'm also tired of people trying to match me with people... And I'm saddened by the fact that nowadays if I get along with some guys who might have the same hobbies and interest as I am, people and even the guys I'm friends will think I'm on the hunt and as if my eyes are on them...

Belahlah dadaku.. Sunggoh tiada niat sebegitu..

I don't have the answer to when... Neither do I have the answer to why... I'm just not the kind who will go after every guy that seems like a potential suitor and woo them... And I'm not the kind who flirts around either...
I'm not sad because I haven't found someone. I'm sad because I am misunderstood...
Do you know how it feels?
Sakitnya tuh di sinih!

Allah knows best..
Bole tak tanye Allah rather than tanye ai?

Monday, February 9, 2015

Aceh Diving Trip


I'm currently sitting on the balcony of my room which faces the ocean. It's full moon tonight, very windy and you can hear the sound of waves fiercely hitting the shores.. Honestly, I'm quite worried if the waves are going to be as big as today tomorrow. The fast ferry was cancelled due to rough sea and we had to take the big ferry which was slower. But still it was a bumpy and rocky ferry ride that many got seasick and puked..

Luckily I did not.. Just imagine.. The waves were so big that even as I stood on the deck I could feel water spray on my face..

We arrived on Sunday in Aceh after spending a night in KLIA2. 
There's this carpeted area in level 2 where everybody spread their sheets and sleep there. So we slept there with the other travelers but obviously it was not part of our plan because we were hurm.. ill prepared hahaha
It was really cold and by 3 am I was already shivering!
I got with me my sweat shirt and then I'd to take out one of my pashmina to make it my blanket while everybody else are all ready with sheets, fluffy blankets and pillows

We spent the whole day sightseeing; focusing on the 2004 tsunami remembrance attractions. 

"Kita mesti menginsafi kejadian tsunami!" Kataku sebelum bertolak.

But I had one of the most demoralizing experience ever! Hahaha I was not allowed to enter the Baiturrahman Mosque because I was wearing jeans! The exact words of the security guard,

"Kakak.. seluarnya ketat... Ini masjid..."

I was flummoxed!  I'd always entered masjid wearing jeans but was never stopped haha

So if you're planning to visit Aceh and visiting the mosques that survived the tsunami is in your itinerary, DO NOT WEAR JEANS.

Well I manage to enter and performed solat in the end because our driver told the guard that we are from Malaysia and I need to pray there..

We went to the beach in Lampuuk to watch the sunset and stopped by Masjid Rahmatullah before heading to the stalls which are famous for grilled fish. In the mosque there were still some cracked columns from the tsunami and the pictures of pre, post tsunami and during the reconstruction process.

At the beach there were small huts where you could sit crossed leg and enjoy grilled fish. 
Actually,  ikan bakar dia nampak biasa jak tapi sedap gila!!!!!! (^^)
It took some time for them to prepare the dish so I was a little too carried away with my own emotion while gazing at the coastline while my friend dozed off.

It was almost hard to believe that the land was once destroyed by the waves upon seeing how normal things are like around there. I know it's been a decade but looking at how they are now seems like it never happened at all. If it were not for the fish trawler and that big ship and the dome that got drifted away inland, there are barely trace of the catastrophe...

I was blinking away tears thinking how many lives were lost on the coastline where my eyes were laid on. I can't bear the lost of one, I can't imagine what pain the people here have endured from losing many loved ones in one fateful incident.

It was almost dark when we left the beach. The two men seated at the front were talking about the aftermath of tsunami. According to Pak Saiful, Banda Aceh changed a lot after the tsunami. Even though it was indeed an ordeal, if it weren't for that day, Aceh might not be as developed as it is today. He said, the people have very much improved in religion, in akhlaq, in education, in economy etc etc...

"Walaupon tsunami ini musibah tapi hikmah yang datang dengannya itu juga banyak ya pak.."

On top is the view from my room in Fina Bungalow. We booked a diving package in Rubiah Divers which include all transportation, accommodation and 5 dives. Meals were not included but there were very good food in the area where we were staying and the price were very cheap! Like around RM 15 per meal and for that you can get a very decent portion and delectable ayam penyet set and drinks. There was also this food stall where we like to buy pisang molen. How I wish we have it here in Malaysia

To be honest, I freaked out a little bit when I saw how small the diving boat was. I had some silly thoughts when we first board it. Because the waves were big, and there were 9 of us on the boat plus the tanks and the other equipment; I was actually thinking what would I do if this boat were to capsize hahaha

But the boat was actually totally safe. It rocked violently as we were set to jump off but it was alright. 2 divers have to back roll on opposite sides simultaneously to gain balance and I thought that was hurm.. cute hahaha

My favourite site would be Canyon because the corals are so huge there and there were a lot of beautiful colourful coral fish. Although they didn't come in large school but still they are beautiful. And my newest encounter would be the Devil Ray! Yeay!

It was quite far but it was big enough to be visible in that distance.

The three of us v(^^)v
Best jugak travel dengan dorang ni walaupon suka pegang handphone... After our second dive, I actually vomited.. Three times... And these guys were cool enough to held me tight as I vomit in the violent sea dan dorang pasrah gila berendam muntah aku hahahaha

"Jom balik bilik..."
"Ya! Supaya kamu bole maen handphone di bilik..."


Sunday, January 25, 2015

Tanzania: Maasai Village


Alhamdulillah I've uploaded the first video from our Tanzania trip. I'm suck at video editing thus please bear with this super amateur video production hehehe

Anyway, this one was recorded while we were visiting a Maasai village on our way back from Serengeti. We were of course quite nervous; we didn't read anything about the Maasai before the trip and we didn't know what to expect. But we had a really good time there with Ponja, the Maasai chief as our guide in the village.

According to Stephan, the Maasai is one of the most popular tribe because they preserve their customs and cultures to this day. They still live in Maasai boma; a house made of cow dung and mud. And as we cruise along the road in Tanzania, we can almost always see the Maasai boys and men herding their cattle and goats..

So here is the video (^^)

Thank you for watching!

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Tasmania: Mt Field National Park


Okay now let's continue with our Tasmania trip.. First and foremost let me share with you one quick fact; Tasmanian wilderness is actually listed as UNESCO world heritage!!! \(^^)/

So, as I told you earlier I took no part in making the itinerary so I was clueless. But this was the first trip that we actually made a lot of changes to our original itinerary because when we got there, there were just too many things to see and do that we finally opt to go for nature and just leave the museums and forts for another day since we visited a lot of that in Melbourne.

On our first day, we chose to go to the Mount Field National Park, which was about 1.5 hours drive from our hostel. The streets were still very calm when we were getting ready to start. An old man, probably in his sixties were standing idly a few meters from our car. The engine was running, all of us were already inside the car and I was adjusting my seat and the mirrors when Mar said "GG jalan!" in a stern voice. I was of course surprised because it was not in MR's nature to suddenly become so tense early in the morning.

And when I turn to look at MR, there it was, the image of a male private part behind the passenger seat window. "OMAIGAD!!!!!!!!" And then I just stepped on the accelerator and sped off with the tires screeching. And when we reached the junction at the end of the street, RA was still clueless to what have happened. 

"Ko tak nampak ke?"
"Tak... Ape bende?"
"Kite pon rase pakcik tu pelik dari awal lagi.."
"So sekarang kite nak drive gi mane ni?"
"Hurm.. rasenye GG kene pusing la.. Macam sepatutnye U turn tadi.."

That was just how shocked we were to the old man's flashing feat (^^")
We had to turn a few blocks to get to the right street to exit Hobart and head towards Mt. Field National Park. We also stopped at Nando's to pack some lunch and was in the lookout for Woolsworth so we can shop some groceries on our way back later.

So the best thing about Tasmania is that you can get this National Park Passport at a reasonable price (that I don't remember how much) that will enable you to enter all the national parks and it includes your vehicle too.

We spent the whole day doing walks inside the park. We went to the waterfalls; Russel falls, Horseshoe falls and Lady Barron Falls.

Russel Falls

Horseshoe Falls

Lady Barron falls

And we did the Tall Trees Walk. And at one point of the boardwalk, there was this set of ancient looking binoculars that were once used to estimate the height of trees so we sort of played with it and tried to estimate the height of some of the trees there.

We had our lunch there in the forest and I asked a stupid question,
"Ade macaque tak kat sini? Nervous pulak nak bukak food..." 

And before leaving, we sat here and ate some sandwich.. There were kangaroos hopping around as we eat.

I say, nature lovers will definitely fall in love with the diversity of flora and fauna in Mt Field National Park. We had a very peaceful time as we pace along the scenic short walks that we didn't realize it was almost sunset when we finished. If we had enough time, we would have gone to the longer walks that will take you to the higher elevation but it will take a full day just to do that. 

She who fears destitute~

So on our way back we manage to stop at Woolsworth which was about to close in a few minutes and the others let me shop for food dan di atas ini lah hasilnya.. Actually this include some food that we brought from Malaysia.. But when SJ was around, we used to shop minimally and it was enough for everybody for the whole trip. Being me, I just binge shop to avoid starvation (^^")

And when we got back at the hostel, I parked exactly at the same spot that morning..
But then changed my mind and drove to the third parking space from that one when the song in the radio at that time sings like this...

"....Flashy people flash around..."
Hahaha I don't think that's coincidence.. that was a sign~ 

So next will be our trip to Mount Wellington and I will introduce to you "Jodoh Pasti Bertemu~" hahaha

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Welcoming 2015 (^^)


OMG OMG OMG.... I haven't been writing for quite some time now. To be honest, I've been experiencing something that I always heard about but never had before.. WRITER'S BLOCK... It's just so weird that I can't put my thoughts into words... Anyway, Happy New Year! (^^)/

I don't know whether it's just me or what, but I think 2014 went by just like that and poof! it's already 2015... 2013 was a harsh one for me; perhaps my ultimate year of sorrow for now. Thus, I'd promised myself to make 2014 a much much better one. I was determined to start anew.

Let's just start with our trips.. We haven't got any destination by the time we were done with Tasmania and NZ. I was only saying to my friends that I feel like going to Indochina; one of the reason is because I was broke so I wanted to go for the cheaper ones first hehe We got the tickets quite late and it was not that cheap and RA brought along 2 of her colleagues. I was worried at first if my itinerary was too packed and we were moving about everyday that it might make them tired and not enjoy that trip. But, Alhamdulillah both of them were such a sport and was okay when I carelessly planned our mode of transport from Ho Chi Minh to Hanoi. Haha seb baek aku tenang orangnya :p

Our second trip was to Tanzania. This was something that suddenly popped out of my mind and we were lucky enough that there was a promo on that day. We bought the ticket immediately! I say this ttrip was like a very very very different experience altogether. Whenever I say that I'm going to Africa, the first thing that people will ask me was "Kamu ikut tour dari Malaysia?" And when I said "No", then they will start nagging about safety and about we're being too brave. In all honesty, I was quite nervous myself because we heard many things about the continent but all that was later proved wrong. Safari is actually a very expensive activity and I was emailing this long list of companies to compare price and then I'd opted a small local company for the tour because it was the cheapest of all. As a precaution I actually emailed all their other guests to avoid scam hahaha semangat kan. Better safe then sorry bha kan. And Alhamdulillah, their service was very good, they treated us like princesses and we felt safe throughout the trip :)

Our last trip was to Nepal for hiking! \(^^)/ Actually to get a glimpse of Everest has always been in my wishlist. I'm not sure whether it was initially in the others' wishlist, but it seem that over the years our list naturally merged and it lengthened~ hahaha We were in Nepal for 16 days and 10 days were spent on hiking. I didn't  have a proper shower for 10 days!!!!!!! That's a personal record!!!! Although it was mentally and physically exhausting, that was the best hiking experience ever. I'll do it again some day.. When I'm rich because it is actually quite pricey... The rest of our trip will be written in other posts... Pada entah kurun ke berapa~ heeeeeee...

Career-wise... Of course, that I've now become somewhat senior, it got more challenging but I've set it at the very beginning of the year that I'm going to be more productive. I was determined to learn as much as I can, I wanted to improvise a lot of things and I challenged myself to implement new things that seem impossible in the past. Well, not everything turn out the way I want, though . But I guess those things that didn't work out was worth trying rather than being kept in my temple, isn't it? And I think, best of all, I was blessed with a good team that now our role is being recognized and I hope it stays that way or become even better while I'm away for study leave, inshaAllah.. Hehe I'm still learning to put aside personal things so it won't affect my professional life... Tapi kadang-kadang, memang ada urge mo tumbuk jak muka difficult people who like to make others' life difficult... Hahaha

And at 28, you find that the "Bila kawen?" questions start to evolve to "Aku ada kenal sorang yang tengah mencari..". And then there are some aunties who seem to be fond to match me with their sons and I got dizzy thinking of how am I going to make a rejection sound kind and nice... Adoi.. Seriously this is more taxing to handle than climbing to a 5000 m peak. And it's even suffocating when your cousin goes like "Pak cik nda ada ka kawan yang ada anak bujang untuk gg?" to your dad... Hello! Do I look like I'm a miserable single damsel in distress??? Pastilah tidak kaaaaannnnnn...

To me, everything in life has its own time and place. Yes, many of my friends got married through this match making process that was arranged by family or usrah.. But that's not for everybody.. And I hate it very much when people start suggesting me that because I have never ever ever lament about still being single.. I never even complaint.. Orang lain yang sibuk ni~ I know clearly what I want in life and I know clearly what I want in marriage as well so if I haven't found the one yet, I am okay to wait.. I don't know who is it yet. He might be someone who is already in my life but we have yet to realize it or he might still be out there... This might sound childish but I don't want to get married just for the sake of having someone but I want to be with someone I want to live with and he should also feel the same...

So, that's it for now sebab aku sumpah mengantuk gila ni~