Saturday, November 29, 2008

I'm not so innocent!!!!

Five girls on their rendezvous.. We are far, but our hearts are connected by our
PRECIOUS FRIENDSHIP...




ZEQ... Majoring in Math in Bath, UK....
Syidoq.. A future Pharmacist like me in IMU :-)
Pah... Future English teacher from whom I stole all the pictures.. Ahax!!! Sorry pah..
Haziah Salleh.. ME!!! ME!!! ME!!!
Osyim.. UTP student...




Zeq and Pah shopped their hearts out at ZARA.. I was broke so I didn't buy anything huhu.. When did Pah take that pic??? OMG.. I look fat from behind...




Spending our time at HRC.. I embarassed my friends when I yelled "MAHAL JUGAK!!!!!!!!" upon seeing the price that popped out... Hahaha









Handsome guy at the back......


Jalan Bukit Bintang at 2 AM..


Experiencing KL's night life.. Could this be once in a life time???
NOT!!!!!!!!!


Pavilion.. Above the blue lite.. GORGEOUS...



I MISS ALL OF YOU..
Geng2 karas...






Publicizing FAQs

Wa.. Aku di hujani dengan pelbagai persoalan dari orang2 sekeliling.. Sebab MALAS menaip mesej yg sama berulang kali maka aku sediakan jawapan Frequently Asked Question di dalam blog ini.. Rasanya benda nie tidaklah terlalu private dan tidak mengaibkan mana2 pihak.. InsyaAllah...

1. Jiji.. Tak nak cari pengganti ke???

Selepas tiga minggu inilah soalan yang paling kerap aku dengar. Em.. Bolehkah sesiapa bagi aku jaminan bahawa pengganti itu akan jadi penawar dan bukan racun?? Buat masa nie aku lebih rela menjauhkan diri dari sebarang hubungan dengan lelaki bukan muhrim.. Sekarang baru aku sedar realiti hubungan sedemikian.. Tiada jaminan.. Dan kalo berakhir, sangat pedih.. aku pegang kata2 kawan aku


"Haziah.. Macam mana pun kita jaga, kalo namanya bercouple, kita tetap akan jauh dari Allah"

kata2 yang menyentap superior vena cava ku (bak kata seorang sahabat.. Sori curi..)

Buat masa nie biarla aku menikmati hidup bersendiri kerana memang banyak benda yang perlu dibaiki dalam diri ini.. Aku ingin tumpukan perhatian pada family, study dan kawan2 yang setia.. Aku juga telah letakkan aim untuk pandai memasak, pandai menjahit dan pandai segala2 nya hahaha


2. Haziah, kalo dia datang balik kau terima???

Adoi!!! Soalan macam nie pon banyak.. Aku tau ramai yang meragui aku sebab sesungguhnya hati aku selembut jelly2 yang aku suka makan... Apa pon aku serahkan semua di tangan Allah. Benda2 nie semua sudah tertulis.. Kalo aku kata "tidak sekali2" sekarang aku takut takdir dariNya adalah sebaliknya.. Kita tunggu sajalah.. Biar waktu memainkan peranannya ok :-)


3. Haziah, apa la plan ko suda single begini???

Plan aku?? wa! sangat banyak!! Antara benda yg I'm looking forward to do adalah shopping dengan Pah Len Aimi Dzeq n Syida macam anak orang kaya hehe Dengan kawan2 la kita bole express ourselves and I just LOVE IT!!!!!!! Aku juga ingin aktif balik dengan Karate kalo keadaan kaki ini mengizinkan.. insyaAllah... Tapi yang pasti sekarang I'm free to do whatever I want tanpa perlu risau hati orang laen...

4. So family kamu macam mana???

Em.. Ini lah susahnya bila family sudah baik dan banyak benda yang sudah di tempuh bersama.. Tapi Alhamdulillah.. Aku masih rasional dan tidak bertindak melulu memutuskan silaturrahim.. Cuma awal2 dulu aku minta masa untuk mencari kekuatan.. Alhamdulillah minggu lepas aku dapat keberanian untuk menelefon family nya tanpa titisan air mata :-) Ibu bapa kedua belah pihak setakat ini faham krisis "orang muda" macam kami.. Jadi rasanya ok jak la...

5. Kau nda marah dia ka Haziah???

Em.. Ntahla.. Marah tue lebih kepada marah dengan diri sendiri sebab susah sangat mau nampak benda yang jadi.. Naive gitu.. Towards that person lebih kepada kecil hati kot.. Sangat kecil hati.. Bagi yang mengikuti kisah kami, memang pengorbanan sepanjang hubungan sangat besar tapi nampaknya semua tue sia2 saja.. Nda apalah.. Allah menjanjikan yang baek2 bagi orang yg sabar...

6. Mana pergi jiji yang strong???

Aiya!!! Jiji yg strong masih ada di sini.. Alhamdulillah sudah tidak bersedih sekarang.. Cuma hari tue perlu masa untuk dapat the glow balik.. Kira ok la kan I'm da type yang nangis jak.. I haven't done anything stupid pon so far hehehe.. I gained my appetite back.. And I'm now moving forward without looking back.. everything suda behind me.. and suda tidak mengharap apa2 pon.. GIRL POWER!!!!!

Apa2 pon dari kisah aku, kita sebaiknya ambil pengajaran.. Janganla start satu hubungan tanpa aim yang jelas.. Iaitu untuk kawen... Jangan jadikan hubungan tue sekadar benda untuk mengisi kesunyian... Kasih sayang tue biarla diiringi dengan kesediaan untuk memikul tanggunjawab.. dan jangan sekali kali keburukan yang sedikit yang kita nampak dalam pasangan kita tue dijadikan alasan untuk mencari yang baru.. Mungkin di sebalik satu keburukan tersembunyi beribu kebaikan seperti pesan Allah dalam surah An nisaa..

Aku yang merasa sangat sakit tapi aku yang sangat banyak belajar.. Pesanan aku.. Pegang erat2 apa yang Allah bagi.. Dia kata La takrobu zina.. So kita jangan dekati... Kawan2 jangan risau.. I'm totally fine!! And FABULOUS!!!!

Friday, November 28, 2008

One evening...

Yesterday..

I was looking out through my window appreciating the beauty of Allah's creation.. Suddenly I saw the INVADERS!!!!! The reckless PRIMATES!!! 1..2..3..4... There are 9 of them all together.. I saw one jumping from the roof to a nearby tree while one was sliding down the PVC pipe.. Cute but... I don't want them to come near me..


TAKOT!!!!! Nanti kena gigit!!!!!

I remember having one rather funny conversation with mom one evening when it was raining heavily outside...

Jijih : Ala mami.. Hujan lebat lak tiba2 ni.. Nasib baik adik suda angkat kain...

Mami : Sini pon ujan jak..

Jijih : Mami.. Adik terfikir la.. Hujan2 macam nie.. Monyet berteduh di mana? kan xda

rumah.. dorang nda demam ka?

Mami : hah.. sapa suruh monyet malas.. Terpaksa la berhujan

Jijih : Ala mami nie.. suda Allah jadikan dia begitu hehehe

Mami : Kalo macam tue kita jangan contohi monyet.. Tau lompat2 jak.. Contohi burung..

Jijih : Burung????

Mami : Aritu mami tengok National Geographic dengan abang. Kami tengok burung buat

sarang.. Nda pernah putus asa...
Jijih : Really.. Burung apa?

Mami : Nda tau la dik.. Tapi kesian.. Buat sarang pakai air liur.. Suda la buat sorang2.. Banyak
kali sarang tue kena tiup angin.. Ia kutip balik n letak balik atas pokok.. Teruskan jak buat lagi...

Last2 siap...



Jijih : Wow!!!!

Mami : Yg amazing tue, air hujan nda masuk pon dalam sarang tue...

Jijih : Subhanallah.. Hebatnya...

Mami : Tue la.. Cuba adik fikir.. Binatang yang Allah nda bagi akal pon bole terus berusaha gitu..
Malu kan manusia nie mudah putus asa...

Jijih : Aah.. Betol2...

Mami : Mami mau tengok lagi la nanti.. Patut la kamu suka betul tgk channel tue...
Jijih : Hehehe pasnie mami try tengok kartun la pulak.. Nanti baru mami tau napa kami nda
suro cut channel kartun hehehe
Typically mom.. That's how she teaches her kids and also her grandchildren.. It was never direct but we always know what she meant to say...

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Feedback on McLead. WOW!






On the last 12th November, I was once again sent to McLead. I stepped into the bus with mixed emotions. I knew at the fact that I'm going to face 'the guy' for 1 whole week and I was still haunted by the previous year McLead that was rather boring because it was only filled with talks. I'm actually ok with talks because it's my nature that I love to listen.. But the emphasis was placed on the co curricular system in Gombak, so I was left blurred.



However this year's McLead was totally DIFFERENT. The duration gave me the creep but it was all worth it.. I made a lot of aquaintances and even cried during the closing.. Hahaha

The McLead was combined with Biro Tatanegara and we were placed in a very comfortable dormitary.. I shared my bunk with a lovely girl name Murshidah and Mida shared her bunk with a pretty and sweet Ina ...


Well, the UIA gombak session still left me blurred sometimes during the program but I did jot some stuffs that I think can benefit me. The coolest part is actually BTN. Our BTN was customized especially for us and only 2 talks were delivered to avoid us from getting bored. People say BTN is to brainwash.. But when thinking about it logically, how can you easily brainwash adults in a few days course. For my part, I personally think the program made me realize how it is important for me to improve for the nation and the country.. There's a lot more but I'm too lazy to elaborate.. Just I think in summary I feel like wanting to be a better person :)


The best part was actually the physical activities. We started off with a jog that morning. Then we had LDK where we were given a whole lot of questions about the federation and stuffs. I admit here that I'm soooooo lousy about that.. I can't answer a thing!!! I was so mesmerized at how people can remember all the acts and rules and the roles of this and that in the country.. All I know is about drugs drugs drugs.. waha!!!!! From this LDK I found that according to perlembagaan negara I'm not a Malay. My rights is written under 161 (A) hahaha





Then we had this game that resemble explorace. I was so thirsty because we were running under the deathly scorching sun hehehe After that we had flying fox.. With all the tension we had LDK again that night. The last session was rather provocative. Some people were yelling and gotten quite emotional.. I was sooooooo not comfortable and remain silent...

At 1 am, we started our journey into the jungle!!!!! It was sooooooo COOL!!! It rained heavily but because the jungle was so dense, we can only feel rain drops on our skin and we were not drenched at all. Every group was given two torch lights but 2 members of my group brought their own torch lights so it was quite convenient hehe I held the torch for the girls and believe me it was really hard to only have one hand to grab stuffs when ascending hills. The routes were so slippery so we had to be very extra careful. My group reached the terunggun lake at 6.30 am and man I was so sleepy.. We did not sleep at all since the morning we woke up for the jog


As an ARC member, I think the night walk was tough. I'm so proud that all of the participants manage to reach the terunggun lake safely. No body stopped and nobody turned back.. I'm sooooo proud with all of you. You guys are true leaders :)





After the night walk, I only slept for 1 hour. Next we had our breakfast and then we went for the next activity which were water confident and lake crossing! Luckily I can swim so no problem there hehehe Next we built rakit and we had a good race. I chose to swim and push the rakit. It was so FUN!!!! But the cold water took its toll on my leg lah... My left leg ache so much but I manage to fought back my tears... It would have been embarassing if I cried hahaha


So finally I want to share some quotes that got me thinking a little bit...



"It's not about what you gain, but it's about what you have become"






Let me elaborate a little bit... This man said in life we gain a lot.. Knowledge, experience.. But all that are futile when we cannot become a better person.. I know one person who forgot everything when he got closer to aborigines. Supposedly the experiences he gained should've taught him to be more sensitive. He drifted away instead duh! What the speaker said also remind me about what Dr. Mohamed said in class



"we see, we hear and sometimes even feel it, but if we don't take time to ponder, we will never learn"





the class was about moral decay that time, if i'm not mistaken..






Madam Martinelli (sorry if I spell it wrong..)

We are going to create heaven class leaders with all of the Prophet's attribute....

Fatonah, Siddiq, Tabligh, Amanah...


This one really caught my attention.. Heaven class eh... Cool.. No matter how some people seem to despise UIA, I still think I gain a lot here.. Aren't we suppose to love the place where we gain knowledge to EXCEL? Or is it just another one of my conservative belief????? hehehe






























Monday, November 10, 2008

How I wish I was there...


Yesterday babah came to our house..
He's on an official trip but came by to our house to help mom cook..
He even stayed for the night in my room mom said... He wanted to save his money hehehe.. Mom and babah watch TV together last night..
This morning babah sent mom to her office and they had breakfast before babah went back to KK..

This is a scene that I really miss and I was not there while it happened.. When was i t whenI last saw them together...??? Erm.. 13 years ago I guess :)







Saturday, November 8, 2008

I AM LUCKY

I hate the word "life sucks"


I am saddened with the fact that there are people who are physically perfect and mentally sane but wish not to wake up tommorrow...


And here's the reason why.....



1. Allah promised to us he will only test us with something that we can manage, we can cope and deal with.. Whatever it is that we are facing, when we start to ask "Why does this happen to me?" the answer is simple



"It's because you can."



2. Life is never sucks.. Life have a lot to offer.. It's only sucks when you have not yet found your purpose.. It's only sucks when you have not yet discovered your role and what you have to offer to other beings... Take time to look... Then you will see...





3. You thought no one cared... But actually they are so many without you even realizing it... At least one person will definitely care and be affected if you are gone.. It's dear mommy... Who brought you to this world...
4. There are always others who are facing greater ordeals than us... To sigh is normal because it is inevitably depressing when we are tested with something.. But to give up.. That is totally wrong...



Sometimes when we are sitting in a comfort zone, we are blinded with what we don't have and ignored what we already have...

Just be grateful.. It makes our life much much more content..

And we will wish to always wake up...

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Moving forward...

1st November 2008 was one of the most dreadful day in my life... The guy I loved, the guy I trusted betrayed me... He betrayed me for so long but I was too blind to see... Thank you Allah for showing me the truth...


I want to put eveything behind me.. I don't want to remember all the bad things he did to me.. I only want to remmeber the part where he had made me happy.. I only want to remember the part where we struggled together going through our greatest ordeal ever, the motocycle accident...


What made him change? I dont know... He just totally change... I remember the last time I saw him being himself. Exactly a year after the accident, 2 Decemcer 2007.. I was gloomy that day.. I was not sure why.. I had an instinct something bad was about to happen... He noticed my perculiar mood. I've always been happy and talkative but that day it was just so different.. I was waiting for the bus to Kuantan... Before I boarded the bus, he look at me in the eye and said

"saye sayang awk" 3 times...


I look him rode his motorcycle home.. That was the last time I saw MY zul... The rest of it were memories that I rather erased...


Now I'm alone.. Im single.. I'm going to move forward.. I want to remember him the way I want.. I loved him once for who he was... I pray to Allah may he realize his mistakes.. May he be himself again.. May he be happy with what he had chosen... :)


In a way I'm so grateful.. No more lies.. No more cries.. All my questions are already answered.. Thank you Allah... Thank you for not making me the one who destroy this precious relationship :)


Thank you mom.... Thank you friends.... Thank you mak zul for the suports... I needed it and I appreciate it so much.. I gained my strength.. I did my best for him... So I don't regret leaving him since I've given my very best when it is him who was not grateful for getting the best...


GO GO CAIYOK!!!!!
muke penat sket br balek exam hehe

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The guyssssss who stole my HEART...

Wentworth Miller... Stunning and mysterious.. My ideal kind of guy hehehe his blue eyes is definitely a priceless asset!!!!!


Shah Rukh Khan
... My all-time favourite.. Honestly his face is not so much of a hunk.. But it's his STYLE that captivate the Vunusians...


Matsumoto Jun.. Well.. To me from the outside he looks ordinary.. But when I saw him acting.. Wow!!!! He got personality!!! He reminds me of one guy in school. Not so handsome but every girl seem to like him..




David Villa... I only fell for him when he's on the field.. Hehehe So agile.. So focus..




Wawawa Lee dong wook!!! He is soooooooo my taste! hehehe tall and handsome..

Won Bin.. SOOOOOOO GORGEOUS


They stole my heart.. Unfortunately I didn't steal theirs.. Hahaha